Things Known
by Ariyah's rider
Summary: AU: In a world where Loki always knew who he was, where he stood in the world, and where both his mother and father were always loyally behind him, many of the holes in his soul never formed. But even if all is well with Loki, not all is well with their family. Secrets still sleep, jealously still breeds, pride still grows, and it will tear the royal family asunder.
1. Prologue: A Bit of Background

_**Things Known**_

_Greater a love has no man than this, that he may lay down his life for his friends._

**Prologue: A Bit of Background**

_October 23, 903 AD_

It was the middle of a war, but still the best day of Odin's life. His first child, a son, an heir, had been born. Thor, his son, a strong healthy child, and the boy had already taught him something. Love is not divided, it is multiplied. It only grows as the family grows, he knew that the moment he saw his wife holding his son, her face tired but eyes alight with love for the child in her arms. He was asleep now, lulled to rest by a soft lullaby his mother had sung him, but before he'd been crying like a, well a baby really. He had quite the set of lungs, for one so small.

"Do you wish to hold him?" Frigga asked, looking up at her husband. Odin shook his head, to fearful to wake the child and be subjected to the screaming once more, but he did sit down next his wife, stroke the small head with his battle worn hands. "He's perfect, isn't he?" Frigga smiled. "Our perfect little Thor." Her voice was soft and full of care, the voice of a mother. She would never let anything touch her precious child, never let a soul harm him. She was his mother, no horror of the world would ever come to him if she could stop it, no pain would ever mar him. Her perfect little boy. Her one and only son.

* * *

_May 4, 905 AD_

The war was over, though the cost was great. Many soldiers had fallen in the many battles, and Odin had lost an eye in the final push into the city, but they had won. The threat of the Jotuns was over, peace could be made now, perhaps. Laufey had lost his capital; surely he would fight no longer. Odin didn't want to fight any more, he wanted to be at home with his wife and young son, Thor was just over a year, and Odin had hardly seen the boy since his birth, it was shameful. He was a father now, and though his duty to Asgard was important, his duty to his children was equally vital. Being a prince could not cost Thor a relationship with his father, that would not be right.

Odin was walking through the ruins of the Jotun palace, and as he stepped outside, something caught his eye. He had just stepped into what he figured was the back of the palace; he was looking for survivors of the Asgardian onslaught. What he saw was distinctly not ice or snow, not like everything around him. It moved and that's when he saw what it was. It was a child, a _newborn infant_ laying bare and unprotected on the frozen snow beneath, no attempts to hide the child, or keep him warm, almost as though he was tossed and discarded there like a worthless bit of nothing. The father in Odin raged at whoever had done such a thing to the poor child, and he kneeled down to pick the baby up. He was so _small_. Ah, that was why he was alone out here, he had been cast off, too small to be taken with them and thus left to die in the cold, alone. The markings on the infant looked familiar.

Oh Norns, it was Laufey's son. This was the prince of Jotunhiem left to die. Odin didn't know why he was so small, but as the cold child cried in his hands, he knew he could not leave him here. It seemed ironic, he was knee deep in Jotun blood and now he was saving what was perhaps the weakest, most helpless frost giant in all the Nine. What would he do with the child? Well, he couldn't take him to Asgard looking like this, Odin knew, so his changed the boy, turned not only his appearance, but made him as much like an Æsir as he could, though the child seemed to insist on dark, green eyes. But they were mesmerizing eyes, so different from any Odin had ever known.

The boy was Laufeyson no longer. No, he was Odinson now. "Worry not, little one, you have a father." Odin whispered, pulling the child close to him and wrapping his cloak around them both. "You have a father."

* * *

Frigga knew not what to think when her husband came to her, face bloody and torn, eye missing, but with the other shinning with a strange mix of emotions, of anger and grief, love and devotion all in one. He was holding something, carefully, as though it were fragile and nearly broken. Thor toddled next to her; he'd been quick about walking, though perhaps not the most elegant or steady about it. His wide blue eyes were filled with fear at the bloodied man he barely knew coming towards him. His mother kneeled down next to him, telling him to go to bed, and he scampered off quickly.

"Odin, you scared him!" Frigga chastised.

"My apologies, my love, but there is something we must address." Odin said, and he pulled the child out from under his cloak. Frigga gasped, taking the boy from Odin's bloodied hands as quickly as she could, holding him close to her body. He was _so cold_. "He is Laufey's son."

"Laufey's son…but, he is Æsir." Frigga said, quietly, looking up. "And so small."

"Too small. Jotun's it seems abandon the runts of their kind." Odin explained.

"Do not call him a runt! It is a shameful thing to say! He is merely smaller, that is all, not a runt like some left behind sickly dog." Frigga snapped.

"Laufey left him in the cold to die. I could not leave him, so I took him here. Now that I have, I know not what to do with him." Odin sighed. "We cannot pass him off to another family, and we cannot say his our own."

"Why ever not?" Frigga asked, rocking back and forth slightly. "He's just a newborn babe, and I have not been out of my chambers nearly since Thor was born. We can simply claim that it was a pregnancy fraught with troubles and sickness, so we did not tell, for fear of the child's life. The last time you were home would be around the right time anyway." Frigga said, clearly convinced of the course of action. Odin smiled, he had wished to keep the child. "What should we call him?" Frigga asked. "Should we ask Thor?"

"Perhaps." Odin smiled. "But I think I may frighten our son. Let us name him ourselves, then you should go introduce Thor to his brother." The king sighed. "And I shall go see the healers." Frigga hummed in agreement, looking at the child lovingly.

"I say we call him Loki." She smiled. "Yes, Loki." Odin nodded; he could not argue with her, not with the way she looked at him, at Loki, how she spoke the name. He gave her a light kiss and walked away to the healing rooms.

Love had multiplied again.

* * *

"Thor, Thor come here my son." Thor wobbled over slowly to where his mother was standing in his nursery, holding something small in her arms. He still could not speak, but his bright blue eyes said all he needed to. _What is it?_ Frigga kneeled down slowly, letting her elder son see what she held in her arms. Thor poked at the thing, not sure what it was. It was squishy, and cold. "This is your brother Thor. His name is Loki."

Brother? What did that mean, his brother?

"He's your little brother, and you're his big brother. That means you have to take care of him, you have to protect him. Do you think you can do that?" Thor pursed his lips for a moment, thinking, then nodded vigorously. "Good." His mother said gently. "You must promise to always be good to him, always be his friend, no matter what. Can you do that?" Another nod. Frigga smiled, then stood slowly, walking over to where Thor's nursery was set up, and where she had told her most trusted maid servant to put a second, smaller, cradle. She placed her younger son inside, wrapping the comforters around him. The poor boy had been so worn down from being left in the cold that he was sound asleep. Thor however was wide-awake, and stood by his little brother's cradle all night, staring at the pale little thing that his mother had named Loki, his brother. Thor liked him already, someone to play with and go on adventures with a friend. A friend forever.

* * *

_March 29, 910 AD_

"Come on Loki, faster!" Thor called behind him, trying to urge his little brother onwards, nearly dragging him across the floors of the palace. Loki was more than just Thor's little brother in age, he was quite literally his little brother, at around half Thor's size. They were nearly the exact same age, but Loki had always been much smaller. Boys their age liked to tease Loki for his small size, his lack of strength and his propensity for illness, so Thor rarely played with them anymore. He would have liked to, but Loki didn't like them, so Thor didn't like them either. And they were mean to Loki too, calling him scrawny and weak, and it made Thor's brother sad. No one got away with that. Thor was big for his age, and he used it, but that seemed to make Loki upset sometimes too, so Thor just avoided the boys altogether.

"Thor…I don't feel good, can you slow down please?" Loki asked, almost tripping over his own feet. "Thor…please." Thor slowed down to a stop, turning to his brother and holding his shoulders.

"Are you alright, little brother?" Loki breathed heavily, struggling to catch some air after the run. It worried Thor sometimes, he wondered if there was something wrong with Loki that made him so small and so sick.

"I'm…I'm ok. Just a little tired, that's all." Loki said, smiling up at his brother happily. "Thank you for stopping."

"Of course I stopped. You asked me to." Thor replied.

"I only asked for you to slow down, not stop. But thank you anyway." Loki replied. "Now, where are we going?"

"Father's library! Mother said he could tell us stories tonight!" Thor said, and Loki's face brightened. He loved it when their father told them stories, he loved to hear about the old days, times long gone and fantastic stories of great heroes of old. He dreamed he would be one someday, he and Thor together, great songs would be written about them some day.

Loki was certain as the sun rose in the morning that there would be no tales like the ones told about him and Thor.

* * *

Loki watched, a bit confused, as Thor walked out of the room alone. He and Thor were always together, but now his brother was going away. And his father looked very serious.

"If this is about what happened in the hall, it was nothing, I was only tired, just a little tired." Loki tried to explain. Odin paused. He didn't know whether he should tell his son or not. The struggle was, the longer they lied to him, the harder it would be to tell the truth. Loki was an intelligent young boy, but he was only five years old, so young to carry something so heavy. But…no. Now was the time, and Odin would deal with the fallout as it came. He would never leave this boy alone to face the life of pain and hurt that lay in front of him, and as much as Odin did not want to inflict such pain on one so young and so loved, he knew he had to do this. He had to tell his son who he was.

"Loki, the story I just told you and Thor, the one about the last battle before the truce, the ending I gave you was not the end." Loki's face brighten at the prospect of more storytelling, then confusion crossed it.

"What about Thor, why isn't he here?"

"Because this story is not for him, it is for you." Odin explained. "After the battle, I was walking through the empty palace, looking for Jotuns who had stayed behind. As I went out the backside of the palace, I found something, or rather someone. A child, a newborn infant, left alone there because he…he was too small. He was Laufey's son, but Laufey did not want him, so he was left behind. I found this child, and…I took him home with me, away from the cold, and changed him to become like an Asgardian." Loki's green eyes were full of worry and confusion.

"What did you do with him?" Loki asked. Odin got out of his chair, sitting down on the ground, next to his son, putting an arm around the tiny shoulders, single blue eye looking into the green ones he'd grown to love so much.

"I made him my son." Loki frowned, and then it seemed to dawn on him slowly. "Loki, that little frost giant was you."

"Me?" The voice was small, scared. "My father left me to die in the cold?"

"No, Laufey left you in the cold. I am your father, whether by birth or no, I am and always will be your father." Odin replied, holding Loki close to him.

"I'm…I'm a frost giant?" Loki looked down at his pale hands, as if he expected them to rebel against him and attack him like a monster.

"You are. But beyond that, Loki, you are my son, you are Frigga's son and you are Thor's brother. None of that has changed, do you understand?" Odin sighed. "We did not tell you before because we wished for you to able to understand what it means. Being a frost giant doesn't make you a monster, or anything less than if you were Æsir. It is not where you are from or what race you belong to that matters." Odin put a rough finger on Loki's chest, over his heart. "It's what's in here that counts. If that is good, then you are good." Loki nodded slowly.

"What about Thor…"

"We have not told Thor, for he cannot keep the secret. You see Loki, while your mother and I know that it is no matter who your birth parents were, there are others who do not see it the same way, and they cannot know the truth."

"But you told me it is wrong to lie." Loki said, and Odin smiled, nodding.

"It is. But in this case, we must lie, to keep you safe."

"Because they would hate me?" Loki said. Odin looked down, and shook his head.

"No, because many people are blind and foolish, they do not see what is in the heart, and look only to the surface. You cannot worry about such people, they are not worth your time or your tears." Loki nodded jerkily. "I know it will be hard, but until you are older, you must tell no one of the truth, Loki. Your mother and I know, but no one else can, do you understand?"

"I do."

"And you know that you can come to us with anything, at any time?"

"I do."

* * *

_July 19, 912 AD_

"When I grow up, when I'm king, I shall go into Jotunhiem and slay every one of the frost giant savages!" Thor cheered, swinging his wooden sword around proudly as he pranced about Loki's room. They spent more time in Loki's room than Thor's, mostly because Loki's was much neater than Thor's was. They had only just gotten these new rooms, the chambers they would live in for the rest of their lives. Well, not Thor, Thor would get the king's chambers when he became king of course. Perhaps the reason the pair was always in Loki's room was because it was Thor who sought his brother out there, while Loki preferred to keep to himself. That was true much more in the last few years, Loki had become more withdrawn and shyer, and it was worrying Thor.

"All of them, Thor?" Loki asked, sounding nervous.

"Of course! I cannot allow monsters like them live on, not when they pose a threat to Asgard." Thor hopped on his little brother's massive bed. Though it was no larger than his own, Loki's bed always seemed bigger, mostly due to it's occupant's small stature. "Not when they may hurt my little brother." Thor smiled, putting an arm around Loki's thin shoulders.

"What if they are not all savages? What if they are not so different from us? That's what mother and father say." Loki mumbled. Thor looked down, he knew well that his parents didn't like his proclaiming that he would wage war on the frost giants, but it got him such cheers from all the other boy's his age…

"I just don't want them to hurt you, Loki. If anyone ever hurt you, I would not rest until they had been brought to justice."

"Frost giants have not hurt me." Loki mumbled, though he knew in his heart that wasn't true. Frost giants had tried to kill him the day he was born. But Thor couldn't know that, Thor could never know.

"I know they would try." Thor replied. "But it doesn't matter, if you do not want them harmed, I suppose I'll have to leave them." Loki raised an eyebrow at his brother. "I see it worries you when I talk about these things, so I will not talk about them. I love you little brother, I want to see you happy." Loki smiled a little at Thor, though his heart was not truly in it. He knew the thoughts had not left his big brother, they never would.

Thor could never know. If Thor knew…

No. It would never come to that. Loki was determined.

"Come outside Loki, it's such a nice day, and I miss you." Thor urged. Loki smiled, this time a truer smile. Thor had missed him; he'd missed Loki's company. Perhaps Loki should not try to simply hide himself away, maybe there were other ways to keep his secret and still be the same brother to Thor as before.

Yes, he could do that. Loki was determined.

* * *

_August 17, 982 AD_

"Thor, why don't you just _pay attention_ when we are being taught and then you wouldn't have this problem." Loki growled, sitting on his bed cross-legged as Thor paced back and forth in front of it. They were teenagers now, and the next day was a test in their tutoring, and Thor, well he hadn't paid attention in any of the classes he was actually at, the rest of the time he was sparring with his new friends, the warriors three. Loki liked them well enough. They were a bit older then him and Thor, but they were good company, especially Fandral, who took more notice of Loki than his friends, even going so far as to compliment Loki on his words, which had gotten him into both princes' "like" book. They were the first sparring buddies Thor had that Loki could tolerate, mostly because they didn't only talk about how they were going to kill all the frost giants when they were older. It was a nice change for the hideaway Jotun.

"I'm busy Loki, I have no time for lessons!" Thor countered. "Now, keep telling me what I need to know." Loki sighed and shook his head. Some things never change.

* * *

_May 13, 996 AD_

"And your name is…"

"I'm Sif, daughter of a nobleman and soon to be warrior of Asgard." The woman said proudly, brushing her golden hair off her shoulder, bright blue eyes shining with confidence. "And who are you?"

"Prince Loki." He replied, rather nonchalantly, picking up one of the many things in the market stall near him. He wasn't really wearing anything that would have tagged him as the prince he was, but that was the point, he didn't want to be noticed.

"Yes, and I'm the queen." Sif said sarcastically. "Who are you really?" Loki raised an eyebrow, putting the item he'd picked up back down.

"Prince Loki." He said again. Sif took a step back, looking his up and down.

"You're too short, too skinny."

"So people keep telling me. However, Lady Sif-"

"Not _Lady _Sif, just Sif. I am no lovely lady to hang on some nobleman's arm." Sif snapped back. "And stop lying to me, you are no prince, you're dressed like a common man!" She exclaimed, motioning to his clothes.

"I like these clothes." Loki said, brushing himself down. "They are very comfortable."

"I'm sure they are, after all you must travel in them. You are clearly not Asgardian." Sif frowned then. "Where is your bag, you look like a traveller…"

"I told you, I'm Prince Loki. I just dress like this so people don't pay attention to me, that's all. Apparently it works too well, because you cannot even recognized the only person in Asgard who has black hair and green eyes, the second prince, as who he really is." Loki crossed his arms, getting a little upset now. It was then that it dawned on her, and her face dropped. Loki smirked. _Well, that reaction was worth it. _"Now, Sif, what were you saying about being a warrior of Asgard?"

* * *

_August 17, 1482 AD_

"Thor, stop pacing. You're making me nervous." Loki chided his brother as they stood outside Eir's rooms. Their mother was inside, and the occasional screaming told the pair of 500 or so year old brothers all they needed to know. Their mother was in labor, and Thor was having fits.

"_Making _you nervous? Should you not already be so, do you not care?" Thor yelled, making Loki take a step back.

"You are panicking enough for the both of us, I think. I'd rather not join in, unless you grow ill from worry and then one of the healers will have to worry over you instead of our mother, so calm down, will you!"

"Calm down, Loki? Are you mad!" There was another ear splitting scream, making both of them wince. "Or perhaps deaf?" Thor snapped once it passed.

"Firstly, that is normal. Secondly, it's Eir in there, mother will be fine!" Loki said.

"How can you be so sure?" Thor asked.

"Because I trust people. You should try it sometime Thor, it's incredibly freeing." Loki replied. Thor turned away, he should know better by now than to start a war of words with Loki, they'd grown up together, and Thor had never once felt as though he'd really won an argument, he'd just been more stubborn on some occasions. He could always manage to be obstinate enough to wear Loki down.

"I wonder what it will be like, having another brother." Thor mused. "It's only ever been the two of us, it will be strange, having another." Loki shrugged.

"I finally get someone to boss around. It will be nice, I think." Thor chuckled at his brother's words, then winced as another scream lanced through the air. "And hopefully this ends soon, my calm is wearing a bit thin."

* * *

_September 30, 1497 AD_

"What part of 'I'm busy' do you not understand?" Loki asked, pulling another journal away from his younger brother, about ten years of age in Midgardian time.

"The busy part, I think." The boy smiled up at him, grabbing one of Loki's books from the selves in his room and plopping down on the bed.

"Baldur, I really do have things to do."

"I'll be good." Loki drew his lips into a thin line. His little brother spent a good deal of time with him, too young for now to go to the rings where Thor spent much of his time, so Loki took care of him. It got annoying sometimes, because now Loki never got any time to himself as it was now taken up by Baldur, and his time with Thor was shrinking. It was a little sad at times, Loki felt as though he was drifting away from Thor, something he would never forgive himself for if it did happen. But Baldur was his little brother, and Loki adored the boy. Even if he did have terrible timing. "Actually, I have a problem."

"What sort of problem?" Loki asked, looking through his desk. Where was that stupid little pendant? Where did it go?

"Kinda a big problem, brother." Loki sighed and turned around. Brother was more important than trinket. "Sorry. It's just, you know those nightmares I told you about, the ones where I die?"

"Did you go to Eir like I told you?" Loki asked.

"Yeah, but nothing has helped. I'm scared Loki, what if…what if it's a vision, like mother gets sometimes?" Loki sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. What could he do to soothe his brother's worries? _Oh, that's it!_ Loki began to hunt through his bookshelves, before he came up with what he was looking for. He shuffled through the pages, finding the spell he wanted.

"Ah, here it is."

"What is?"

"A ward spell. It will keep you safe, so no harm with come to you." Loki answered, making Baldur beam. The boy quickly shut the book he had been half reading, making Loki wince in his thoughts, that was an old book, and shouldn't be closed so harshly. He bounced to the edge of the massive bed, leaning over the front of the book Loki had opened and placed there. The elder brother gently pushed the boy's head out of the way of his reading, but Baldur still bounced excitedly. "Alright, sit still, I've never used this spell before…"

* * *

_April 28, 1643 AD_

The great hall was cleared of everyone except three figures, Odin, Baldur, and Loki. Baldur was glaring at his older brother icily; standing by his father's side while Loki was in the center of the room, looking small and almost afraid.

Odin did not know what to think. Everything was stacked against Loki, as had been proven already in the more formal trial that had come before this. Had Loki's nature finally gotten to him, had he become power hungry, jealous, angry, murderous? Was it true, what most of Asgard claimed, what Odin had tried so hard to keep Loki from believing, were frost giants born evil? Was murder in Loki's blood?

He wanted so desperately to be wrong, but facts could not be denied.

Loki was still in a whirlwind. He was racking his brain, trying desperately to think of a way out of this situation, but it just wasn't working. For once, Baldur had out maneuvered him. He'd gotten cocky, he'd thought himself cleverer, a few steps ahead at every turn, he never expected this. He had to hand it to Baldur; it was a very cunning move, to use Loki's reputation and personality against him. Of course no one believed him when he tried to explain like he had moments before in the public trail. Speaking of which, why had it been a public trail? That was a bit odd, for something so devastating to the nation as a fracture within the royal family.

Now he was being sentenced, a more private matter. Which was why Loki was afraid. Why did father deem it necessary for even Thor and his mother to leave, so that only the accuser and the accused stood before the All-Father. Everyone knew that the verdict was guilty, but the sentence, well the thought of it had Loki squirming.

Because somewhere in the back of his mind he knew what it would be. He just refused to believe it. His father wouldn't do that to him. He couldn't.

Odin loved Loki. Didn't he?

* * *

_April 30, 1643 AD_

All of Asgard had gathered, though Thor wished they had not. But who could resist seeing the would-be murderer of Asgard's youngest prince killed. Thor was pretty sure he could, as it was his younger brother being killed. A brother for a brother. It wasn't right. But Loki had denied nothing; he just kept insisting that Baldur was going to try to kill Thor and Odin and that someone had to stop him. That had been the final straw for everyone, and Loki was going to pay for it with his life. Thor did as he must now, stood beside his father, and watched. Baldur was standing beside their mother, who was trying not to break down. She was about to lose her son, who could blame her?

Baldur's shoulder was still bandaged from where Loki's arrow had hit him. It was so odd to see Baldur wounded; Loki's spell had always protected him. But since Loki made the spell with a loophole, everyone accused him of plotting this from the very start. Thus, all Asgard now hated Thor's brother, more than they ever had before.

Sif and the Warriors Three stood off to the side. Sif and Fandral looked distraught, Fandral trying to comfort Loki's closest friend, as Sif tried to keep a stony face on. Her whole world had been shaken to the core by Loki's betrayal, and Fandral was another of Loki's close friends, they had seen none of this coming. It was so strange, so out of the blue. All too quickly, everything had collapsed.

But, standing before them now, Loki did not seem to mind their stares of hatred burning into his back. Instead he just stood, stoically, waiting for it to come. He was to be killed in the manner that he tried to kill Baldur, with an arrow to the heart. Theoretically, it would be painless, instant. The archer was one of the best in Asgard, but Thor was pretty sure he was a bit unnerved. It was one thing to call for the prince's blood, another entirely to actually take his life as he looked at you with those annoyingly calm green eyes. The archer was only one of the best, mostly because Loki was the best, which led Thor to wonder how, if he really intended on killing Baldur, he missed.

"Proceed." Odin's voice shook the slightest bit as he gave the final order. Loki drew himself up as the archer drew his bow. Thor wished Loki would say something, or at least have some emotion other than quiet acceptance on his face.

The archer took aim. The hall fell silent. Thor looked away.

It was so quiet, the thud was audible. But what followed was gut wrenching, the shuffling, stumbling of feet, and gasping for air. Thor looked back, and saw as Loki fell, arrow sticking from his chest, which heaved up and down, his eyes wide with pain.

_He missed!_ The archer had not missed by much, arrow striking just to right of it's mark, but the pain that would cause, dragging this out... Frigga gave a small wail of horror. Loki was curled in on himself, hands still tied behind his back. There was really only one way to make this horror show pass, take the arrow from Loki's chest, and shoot him again. The archer seemed to know this, and moved towards Loki's shuddering form. Apparently, the archer cared little for the prince, as he used his boot to roll the choking prince onto his back, pin him down and pull out the arrow roughly, making Loki let out an involuntary cry of pain as it was torn from his chest. Thor saw many in the crowd look away. They had gotten far more than the asked for. The archer didn't bother to step away; he aimed his arrow right at Loki, and drew back.

"_Stop!" _Frigga screamed, getting up from her seat. All eyes were on her as she rushed forward, trying desperately to get to Loki before he slipped away. She kneeled down by his side, and Thor watched as his mother tried to comfort Loki in his last moments. Eventually, Loki's body stilled, his chest ceased to rise, and the sound of his ragged breathing left the chamber. Frigga didn't move, but held him close to her still, singing a familiar lullaby as she rocked back and forth. Thor went to her, and drew her up and away from his brother, whose eyes were closed, looking so peaceful he could be asleep, if not for the blood that seeped from his mouth. Frigga cried softly as Thor led her away, distantly hearing his father dismiss the crowd.

Just like that, Thor's life changed forever.

* * *

**_The dates are all completely arbitrary, just there to give reference of passage of time. Don't read too much into them._**

**_~Ariyah's Rider_**


	2. Ch 1: For All We Are

_**Chapter 1: For All We Are**_

_May 3, 1643 AD_

Loki left a gaping hole in Thor's family, and in Thor. It had been but a few days since Loki's funeral, a tiny thing compared to what it would have been if the circumstances of his death were different. There was no mourning period, no black banners hanging, no feeling of sadness dwelling over the realm, except perhaps the rain storms that had come through Thor's despair. No mourning for a traitor, no sadness for a would-be murderer.

Thor wondered how he had missed the warning signs of this, Baldur and Loki had seemed fine, no jealousy, no tension or strain, his brothers were as they had always been. Then again, Loki was always gifted with deception; everything could have been a lie, a massive lie. But Thor didn't want to believe that, he wanted to trust his brother, he had always trusted Loki, even when people told him not to. Thor didn't want all those people to have been right about his beloved little brother. Thor couldn't remember life without Loki, the pair were closer in age then any other siblings Thor knew of, most of the time children were at least a five years apart in age, if not more, because of Æsir life spans. But not Loki and Thor, they were only 18 months apart in age, just a year and a half, so close they had grown up nearly like twins, despite the fact they could not have been more different. They had been so close, for so long. And now, now the person who had stood beside Thor for _everything_ was just…gone.

And everyone tried to forget him.

That was the most troublesome. Everyone trying to forget him, to leave him behind as time passed agonizingly onward without the second prince of Asgard. It wasn't right, it was horribly, horribly wrong that they could so easily pass him off. Thor wanted to force them to morn, but no one seemed to care about it. They only said that they knew it would happen some day, that Loki had always been jealous of his brothers, that he was never good for anything. Sly little Liesmith. Good for nothing coward. It all made Thor's blood boil. Could they not show him a _little_ respect? He had been the prince after all.

Thor found himself standing alone, where he once would have stood with loyal company. It was a lonely balcony high up on the spire of the palace, one he and Loki had found when they were young, where they would sneak up to when they wanted to get away from the world below, or look out at the city that would one day be Thor's to rule. Thor still expected his brother to come out of the little door and tell him that he expected to find Thor here. They would talk here often, telling each other secrets that no one else knew, where Thor would confide in his brother fears that the world below had no idea the elder prince had. Loki had always been wise beyond his years, and Thor had always listened to and respected the advice his little brother gave, even if he didn't always heed it.

Thor was stuck in denial of what had happened, he was desperate for all to be a dream, a nightmare. _Please let it be a terrible nightmare._

The small door creaked open, and Thor's traitor heart leapt in his chest, but Baldur came through the door instead of the brother Thor longed for.

"How did you know to come here?" Thor asked gruffly as Baldur came onto the balcony. He brushed himself off, looking out at the view of the sunset, bathing Asgard in a red glow.

"So this is where you two would vanish to." He sighed. "It's nice. Fandral told me I might find you up here." Fandral. It figured really, he was one of Loki's closest friends. Thor would have to chastise him for telling, this was his and Loki's place, and Baldur did not belong. It felt a little wrong to say that about his only remaining brother, but it was true. There was a place that Loki had taken up in Thor's heart, and he could never expand that to hold Baldur as well, the youngest just didn't fit there. "Father is starting to worry about you."

"And you?"

"Well, I know better than anyone what you and Loki were like, there was never any room for me in-between you two." Baldur grumbled. Thor looked down, a little ashamed.

"For that I am sorry, brother." Thor said. "We did not mean to exclude you."

"Well, Loki made an effort to make me feel welcome with you two, but you, well I guess you have enough to worry about anyway, being crown prince and all." Thor pursed his lips and turned his gaze back to the sky. "I forgive you. Besides, does little good to dwell on it now, right? One of us is gone, we have to stick together as a family, not let what Loki said rip us apart." Thor nodded.

"Loki always told me he would never die for one of his lies." Baldur stiffened slightly, but relaxed quickly, and Thor missed the motion. "But…what he claimed about you, it cannot be true. But neither can I see Loki trying to kill you for no reason. I don't know what to think."

"Maybe Loki finally went mad." Baldur suggested, earning a stormy glare from Thor. "I know it sounds terrible, but look at how people treated him, like the ground beneath their feet, or worse. And all he ever did was take it courteously, and help the people who hate him. If I were him, I would have snapped long ago."

"But why attack you?"

"People love me. Maybe he got a bit jealous." Thor shook his head.

"I have known Loki my entire life, and I have never once known him to be jealous." Thor replied, shaking his head sadly.

"Loki lies." Baldur said. Thor narrowed his eyes, but perhaps Baldur was right, maybe Loki did lie. It seemed like so much to lie about though, and for so long.

"I cannot…I cannot talk about him, Baldur. I am sorry."

"He'd not coming back, you know." Baldur's voice darkened. "He's gone and never coming back and-"

"Shut up!" Thor yelled in sudden rage. "I have just lost…I have lost my brother…and I…cannot…" Thor's mouth hung open, trying to form words but no breath come out, then he shut his mouth and stormed past Baldur, back inside the palace. Baldur watched him go, turning out to the golden city below once Thor had left him. A small chuckle came out as he did.

Thor was such a sentimental fool, and so blind. Baldur was worried at one point that Loki's last minute truth telling would have gotten Thor to suspect him. Thor loved Loki more than anything else, Baldur never thought Thor would side with him. Well, he hadn't, Thor didn't know what to think, he was so lost and confused about what to do, who to believe. His heart called to believe Loki, but his mind told him to side with Baldur.

Baldur knew this would destroy him, Thor could never survive a world without Loki, without the guidance that the younger brother gave. Thor may subsist in this new, horrid world forced upon him by Baldur's plans, but he could do no more than that. Baldur might not even have to touch Thor; this would slowly consume him until there was nothing left remotely fit to rule, and the eldest Odinson would just crumble away in the absence of his brother. It was perfect; this had gone better than Baldur had ever hoped.

The sentence of death from the All-Father was shocking to everyone, Baldur included. But he couldn't deny his joy at it, it could not have gone better for him, it was like they were playing into his plans. Loki, for all his intelligence, had helped Baldur a number of times, both intentionally and unintentionally. Loki telling that he could never simply kill Thor and hope for the best had guided his actions thus far. He couldn't just kill his family, he had to destroy them, he had to watch the family fracture and burn, forcing it to such an end while looking like he was trying to keep them together. It wouldn't be too hard, Asgard adored him, the youngest and perfect son of Frigga and Odin, a blessing late in the lives of their king and queen.

This was too easy.

* * *

A ragged scream ripped through the air, followed by the crashing sound of wood against stone. Servants had learned to ignore the sounds of rage coming from that room, only to wait until it's occupant collected herself and left for the sparring rings, and clean the mess she had left in her wake.

Sif spent her days wrapped in a mind warping fury, unable to understand how this had happened. Her friend…her best friend…a traitor. Loki. Prince Loki of Asgard

"You MONSTER!" She screamed at the sky, or rather her ceiling. "How could you do this to me! How could you do this to your brother! You vile traitor! You…you are worth nothing to me! I cannot believe I…" Sif stopped her rage, looking down as it burned lower, simmering in her chest. She had already yelled at him once, spat her words to him as he sat in that little cell awaiting death.

She would have killed him herself at times, others she just wanted to ask him why he'd done it? He owed her a reason.

Had he been using her all this time, had everything been another lie? It was not a lie for her, she had cared for him. He was her best friend, defending her and watching her back at every turn. Where had that stopped, had that just been a lie? Was everything a lie?

Had she not defended him herself, telling those who mocked him to step in the ring with her if they dared, had she not sent so many fools who called him a coward running with their tails between their legs. How many times had she listened to him as he spoke about what he'd learned, a new spell mastered, or after some time even ones he'd created himself. She could remember the times he'd come to her, eager to show off something without getting chastised for his love of magic. She'd respected his choice to learn it, it was clever of him. He was no match for a large, strong warrior of Asgard, not with his weaker body and smaller stature, he would never be able to fight like the common warrior. So he'd gone to what he excelled at, mage craft.

And words. Always with the words. Sif had known Loki was fully capable of defending himself with only his words, and that at times she probably did him no favors by defending him, making him look weaker perhaps for needing the protection of a woman. But he'd let her go about it anyway, he never seemed to mind. Sif wondered now if he had minded.

"You really were a coward." Sif hissed. "How did I not see?" Her mind wandered back to the only words Loki had spoken to her in reply to her angry tirade at him while he rotted in that cell.

_"I'm sorry."_

"But you're not sorry, are you?" Sif whispered, looking around what remained of her room. "You destroyed everything, and you're not sorry."

* * *

Thor pushed the door to Loki's room open slowly, then all but shoved it open, seeing people inside. They were guards, collecting things, Loki's things, shoving them in bags and taking them away.

"What is going on? What are you doing?" Thor boomed, grabbing one of the guards by the arm. The man looked terrified, and Thor tried to calm his sudden rage, he did not mean to harm them. "What are you doing in here?"

"The King ordered us to clear out the prince's chambers, Prince Thor." The other guard in the room replied. Thor frowned, his father had ordered this done? Why, for what purpose? "He told us to dispose of the contents of your brother's rooms." Thor set his jaw, trying to shove the boiling anger down.

"Stop." Thor said. "Leave Loki's things be."

"We cannot, your father ordered us to stop for no one, not even you." The first guard said, voice trembling, terrified to deny the crown prince.

"Then take what you have and leave." Thor growled. The guards didn't move, and Thor's rage could be held back no longer. "GET OUT!" He bellowed, thunder crashing outside and the guards grabbed what they had and ran. They took many things already; so much of what Thor knew of Loki's room was gone. The bookshelves were empty, the desk cleared of and the open drawers devoid of their contents. The bow that Loki had made for himself long ago, always resting next to his desk, missing from it's place, the one his father gave him lost as well. All of his weapons were gone, even the knives that Loki loved so much, the set Thor had given him so long ago for his name day was no longer there.

Was even Loki's own father trying to erase his memory, wash it out like a bad taste in his mouth? Was that all Loki was now, a sour memory? Was Thor's brother, his beloved, amazing, clever, quick-witted, devoted brother nothing more than a memory waiting to fade?

Thor moved through the room, into the bedchamber, finding it equally cleared of contents, equally thorough in being swept of memories. Thor traced a hand across the wooden end of Loki's bed, walking past it slowly, memories of coming here to nag or ask questions bubbling up in his mind, so clear that he could almost see the pair of them. Loki perched on his dark green sheets, reading a book as Thor swung a wooden sword around, Loki pretending to be their father and swearing Thor into becoming king, the pair wrestling on the floor, Thor flying into this very room in the middle of the night, grabbing Loki's shoulders and shaking him awake frantically to tell him their mother had gone into labor. Memories of the many times Loki was ill as a child, stuck in his bed, unable to leave his room. Thor would stay there, unwilling to go out no matter how many times Loki urged him to, he would not leave his brother. Thor closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out the images in his mind. He just wanted Loki back, was that too much to ask?

He spotted something, resting on the side of Loki's bed, resting there as if dropped carelessly when he was going to sleep. Thor couldn't help the small smile when he saw what it was, Loki's helmet. He'd always hated that golden horned thing with a passion Thor did not fully understand. The last time Thor had seen him wearing it was…a council meeting, late at night that all of the brothers had gone too. It had been no more than a month ago, not long at all. Thor recalled how exhausted Loki had been by the end of it, not even bothering to come with Thor when he invited him to go to a tavern. He must have slept in his armor… small wonder he was so irritated the next day. Thor tried to laugh at the memory of Loki being so upset and biting that morning, but instead he began to weep. He took a hold of the helm, wrapping it tightly in his arms as he sank to the floor. He wanted to scream, let the heavens know of his agony, but no sound came out, his mouth left agape in a silent cry of anguish.

Outside, the raging thunderstorm turned to a thunder-less downpour.

The god of thunder had no anger left, only pain. Only loss.

On a balcony on the spire of the palace, Baldur laughed in the rain. "You lose!" He yelled to the sky. "You lose Loki! You _lose_!"


	3. Ch 2: And All We Know

_**Chapter 2: And All We Know**_

_**Why two in one day? Because this chapter and the one before were originally one chapter, and I forgot why I split them up. **_

* * *

_367 years later… _

_May 4, 2010 AD_

Empty was the one way she could describe herself.

Sif was empty. It was strange for many to see her this way, but they had gotten used to it, not trying to break her out of the stupor any longer. They had tried for a long time, it had come so abruptly, one day she was a boiling pot of Loki hating rage and the next, she was broken. Sif still could not understand how Loki could have done what he was accused of, killed for. She'd given up trying. She simply tried not to think about it.

Her blue eyes were boring into a small book in her hands. She'd never opened it, no one ever would, its secrets lay trapped inside because the hands that were supposed to open its cover no longer existed. The cover was worn and tired, but it was a very old book, and had been hidden away for a long time. She'd gone to mountains of trouble to get it, and now all of that was voided, by a single arrow, a terrible action, a misstep of fate. She had been so looking forward to giving it to him, she knew he would have loved it.

It had been a gift for Loki, a simple book of spells. Some Vanir had sent her on the quest to find it, well not that particular book but a library once full of great knowledge, but lost to the sands of time. It had been a bit of a wild goose chase, tracking the thing down to the ruins in the middle of nowhere on Vanahiem where she had finally found the remnants of a library. She'd picked out that one book because it had been one of the few intact spellbooks. She had planned to take him to the library itself after giving him the book, but it never came to be.

Sif tried to think of good times, of happier moments in her life when they had been friends, off on some crazy adventure or back in Asgard, anything at all, anything happy. But she could not, her memories refused. All she could see now when she though of him was the hurt, wounded look in his eyes when she had spat angrily at him, calling him a murderer, liar traitor, scum and lower than dirt, how his eyes had been full of only pain. Pain she had inflicted on him. Oh, the horrible insults she had heaped on his head. And how long after had she spent in that mindless anger, thinking only of the pain exacted on her.

How she could forget how many times he'd stood by her? Even now, the memory of the terrible day when her hair turned black came to mind, the day he'd proved most loyal to her, the day she truly began to trust him with all she was.

She had run to him in a panic, the first person she could think of to help her. They had only known each other a few months when it happened, and it was early morning, but she had no where else to turn.

* * *

"Prince Loki! Prince Loki, wake up!" She shook him harshly, making him jump awake, sitting up and blinking rapidly until the world came into focus. He cast a spell to shed light on them, and rubbed an eye.

"Sif…I told you, you can just call me Loki. You're my friend, remember?" Loki told her, the last part almost as if he were asking if she saw it the same way. He'd been so desperate for friends then, so alone. But Sif didn't have time for deliberation or jokes.

"Yes, yes, I know. But that's not important right now." She said. Loki looked out his window, at the still dark and asleep realm below them.

"Care to explain why you are in my bedchamber, in my bed, in the middle of the night?" He questioned. Sif leapt out of his bed in alarm, making the prince laugh a little. "Not that I mind, I'm only wondering."

"Don't get any foolish ideas. I am in need of your help." Loki nodded for her to go on. "Well, I was on a quest, to find this enchanter…and I found her, but before I could do as I intended, ask her a question, she is supposed to be a seer, you see…any way, before I could do as I wished, she attacked me."

"If you're hurt, you should go to Eir, not me. I am no healer." Loki said.

"I wish it were that simple." Sif mumbled. She took a hold of her hood, slipping it off her head and revealing her now inky black hair. Loki's eyebrows nearly reached his hairline, green eyes widening beyond what Sif thought possible. "Don't just stare, do something!" She exclaimed. Loki snapped out of his reverie and motioned for her to come closer.

"I need to see your hair to see if I can help." He explained when she didn't move. Sif tentatively sat next to him on the massive bed. He looked so small in it, almost like he was drowning in the gold and green sheets. His hands ran through her hair for a moment, and he sighed. "I'm sorry Sif, I can't help."

"What do you mean, you can't help? I thought you were good with mage craft!"

"I am!" Loki defended. "But… it's not a simple spell, Sif. There are some who have the power to change the appearance of Æsir, and apparently your seer was one of them. It's not a spell, so it cannot be reversed." Sif looked down, devastated. "Oh, come now, its not so bad. I've had black hair all my life, it's not that bad, really."

"How many times have I seen you teased for it?" She asked. Loki chewed his lip, knowing she was right. "See what I mean."

"Well, it's not as though your life is over."

"My hair was perfect, it was beautiful." Sif said looking at a bit she pulled in her hand. "Now look at it."

"I am looking at it." Loki replied. "If I am not mistaken, I have heard many people say it is a shame you had such beautiful hair, that it was wasted on you. At least they cannot say such things now."

"I would prefer that." Sif mumbled. "And for it to happen in such a stupid way, by a seer, of all things! Foolish!" She cursed, kicking her legs out.

"Tell you what, go home, go to sleep, and I'll come up with something so you can save face, alright? And, I'll fix this problem. I'll get you even more beautiful hair than what you had before." Loki smiled at her, and Sif raised an eyebrow. "I swear, I will get you your blonde hair back Sif, and make sure no one knows you were beaten by a seer."

"I was not beaten, she will not be changing anyone else's hair anytime soon." Sif said proudly, and Loki shook his head with a small laugh.

"Go, I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

He'd taken the fall for her, told everyone that it was he messing up a spell that was meant to be a prank because she had bragged about her golden locks. Then he'd gone off to find her new hair. And he'd vanished for far longer than any expected, only to be found as a captive of the dwarves. Apparently, he'd made a rather poor bet and nearly gotten killed for it, only to end up in a cell with his mouth sewn shut for his trouble, and no hair for Sif. Odin had been furious, especially when Sif had gone to him with the truth, to try and convince him to get Loki. She'd feared for her place, but Odin had not sent her away, telling her that Loki must have truly enjoyed her company to do something for her such as this, so she was allowed to stay. Loki had been returned, but was very sick for a good time afterwards, having not eaten for a long time. Sif had told him she'd gotten used to the black hair, that he shouldn't bother trying again, and he'd eventually accepted this. Ever since that…well they had been friends, close friends.

So Sif was empty. On this day, Sif was hollow and broken a new.

* * *

"Do you remember when we came here when he came of age?" Volstagg asked his two friends, sitting in a lonely corner of a tavern they frequented.

"And how much convincing he took? Yes, I remember that well enough." Fandral stared at his meade, trying to find some joy. It really wasn't working for him, and the meade must have been watered down or something because it was having no effect.

"Come now Fandral, we're trying to remember Loki fondly, not make ourselves more upset. I know you miss him, but try to smile will you?" Volstagg urged.

"You didn't know him like I did, Volstagg." The blonde warrior replied. "It is easier for you, you were closer to Thor." Volstagg drew his lips into a thin line, but remained silent. Fandral was right; he'd always been a closer friend to Thor than with Loki. Not to say that he was a not friend to the younger prince, but he'd been fonder of Thor. "The worst of it is, it feels like betraying Asgard to think of Loki fondly, and betraying Loki to forget him completely."

"Loki was our friend. Let others condemn him, for they did not know him." Hogun said, looking grimly at the other two warriors next to him. Fandral still looked distant, remembering things. The last person he'd expected to make friends with was Prince Loki. When he'd first met the younger prince, Fandral been still young, perhaps 150 years of age at the most. Loki was younger still, around 100 years old, but he'd been so small, barely reaching Fandral's shoulder, and thin as twig. Hardly prince material, while Thor had looked every inch a royal. The pair had been training, though Loki sat out most of the time, reading a book. Thor had continued on after the teacher left, and Loki had sat on the edge of the ring contentedly, swinging his thin legs back and forth and humming to himself. Fandral remembered the day rather clearly, because as Loki had been sitting there, an older warrior walking by had pushed him from his seat, down onto the hard dirt of the ring below.

Thor had near exploded in anger, but Fandral watched as the smaller prince had gotten between his brother and the offending warrior, talking the situation out before it got violent. That had instantly gotten Fandral's respect, but what had gotten friendship started was the fact that he'd worked up the courage to go talk to the Prince (talking to him could be dangerous, one slip up and you could find yourself on the end of Thor's rage), and the absolute joy that he'd seen on Loki's face when Fandral complemented him on how he dealt with the argument.

Loki had been a good friend to Fandral; more loyal than any he had ever known. Perhaps that was because Loki had so few friends, so in turn he was the best friend he could possibly be to those he did have. Regardless, there were many times in Fandral's life that he never would have survived if not for the younger prince, both on the battlefield and in Asgard itself. Loki's silver words had fended off more than one angry maiden in his time, saving the womanizing warrior from their feminine wrath, even if Loki always gave him a dressing down about his antics afterwards. Fandral often forgot that he was in fact older than Loki, with the way he was always giving advice.

"He got so drunk." Fandral said suddenly, drawing Volstagg and Hogun's attention with a dark laugh.

"Aye, it was perhaps the most humorous thing I have ever seen. Didn't take much either, Thor took perhaps three times as much to get a little drunk. Then again, Thor was more than twice his size at the time." Volstagg mused.

"He was so upset with us the day after, but he couldn't yell because it hurt his head." Fandral said. "Told me if I got him drunk again he'd tell Thor I hurt him and laugh at the carnage."

"Always had a sharp tongue." Hogun smirked. "Got sharper when he was upset."

"If there was ever anyone who knew how to use words properly, it was him. He could make the greatest of warriors look like the lowest of fools or rally a failing army. We all saw him do it, do you not remember?"

"'Remember who you are, warriors of Asgard. Those men who sleep now at home shall will curse the fates for leaving them away from these fields and hold their honor as nothing when ever one of you speak who was here on this day, for on this day we drove back the evil that sought to take our homes, our families, all we hold dear. On this day we few warriors saved the realm that came to enslave it, but failed, for so long as a warrior of Asgard draws breath he shall be free.'" Fandral smiled sadly, remembering the earsplitting war cry that had followed Loki's mid-battle speech.

"Aye, he had a way with words. He made me laugh when I thought I could do nothing but mourn the loss of my son. Kept my wife sane, he did. I owe him that." Volstagg sighed. It had been hard losing his son to battle on Vanahiem; Loki had been the one to tell him. It had been late at night, his wife opening the door, starting to greet the prince, and then letting out a scream of utter agony when seeing that he held her son's helm and sword in his pale hands. Volstagg had always cursed himself for not going on that campaign.

"We are remembering fondly." Fandral smiled, lifting his half empty flagon of meade. "To Prince Loki." He said, voice low. His friends raised their mugs as well, draining them in sync.

* * *

Frigga ran her hands slowly over the worn face of one of Loki's old journals. She had read every one that she had saved, her only remaining connection to her lost son. There were none left from the last few decades of his life, they had been found by Odin's guards before Thor came and stopped them. The ones she had now had been hidden in a small corner of his room, hard to find. Sometimes he would recount his days in them, others there would be the workings of something he'd been studying and still other pages would have drawings on them. That was something she had never known about Loki, that he had been such an accomplished artist, capturing beauty with the simple black and white of the page and a piece of charcoal.

Her gaze was drawn away from the leather bound book by the creak of the massive doors of her bedchambers, and her husband coming into the room. She smiled sadly at him as he walked through the room, every one of his years evident on his face and in his eye.

"I miss him." She whispered, moving back to the book. "I wonder still what went so wrong, where did we go wrong my love?"

"I do not know." Odin replied, voice heavy with sorrow. "But no amount of sorrow or conjecture will give us our son back. He is gone now, by my foolhardy choice."

"You did what you thought you had to. I know it was not easy, but it…it had to be done." Frigga whispered.

"You believe that?" Odin said, finding his wife's words difficult to trust in. He trusted her and her honesty, but he also knew that she had not agreed with his choice.

"I have to." Odin closed his eye sadly, letting out a long-suffering sigh. "We cannot deliberate on whether it was the right choice, for it is the choice we made, and it is long past time to try and solve it."

"I did not see the effect it would have on Thor."

"Poor Thor. He seems to be near brokenness even now. I though he might heal some with time as we have, but I only see him sinking yet deeper into despair. On this day, he seems near unable to breathe. He never saw how much Loki meant to him until he was no longer there." Frigga said.

"That is the way that things often go, we do not understand what it is we have until we have it no longer. I cannot say that I was exempt from this realization as well." Odin sighed again. "I know not whether Thor will recover, if four centuries cannot begin to help his pain, and he refuses help or comfort… I am at a loss for what action I should take."

"Give him more time, husband. Do not rush our boy." Frigga replied.

"Four centuries, Frigga."

"And more than seven with him, my love. I know it is a long time, but let him grieve. If you push him to go quicker, you will hurt him." Frigga replied, and looked back down at the book in her hands. "I cannot say my grief is gone."

"Nor is mine." Odin replied. "But life goes ever onward, with or without us."

"Indeed it does."

* * *

Today was Loki's name day.

The Warriors Three were celebrating it in their tavern corner.

Sif was in her rooms, staring at her tear-stained book.

Frigga and Odin spoke in their room.

Thor was in Loki's room, staring at the ceiling. Thor, well he was never the same. Like Baldur had thought, he merely subsisted, going from day to day in dull, unfeeling motions. He could not find closure; he could not get past his grief. It was not as though he never felt happiness or some revelry, but he had no joy, it was all gone. It was a sad thing to witness.

"I have a problem, brother." He began quietly. This had become a sort of ritual for him, a means of trying to recover, to try to speak to Loki. "I…you always told me that you would never die for a lie you had told. That in the end, you would tell the truth. Father, he would not have… if you had told him that you did try to kill Baldur, he would have let you go. And yet you maintained the tale. You…you cannot have died for a lie. I didn't know what to think, but I have been watching Baldur. He grows different, harsher and almost impatient for something. I see jealousy and anger in him, and he speaks of you with spite in his tone. I know what to think now." Thor paused, a lump forming in his throat.

"You were telling the truth, weren't you…all those years ago, you told the truth. And no one believed you." His voice was strained, his eyes glazed over a tears began to fall. "I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I didn't see, I was such a fool. I let you die…I'm so sorry Loki. Brother." Thor's chin hit his chest as his head dropped, tears splashing on the floor silently as Thor took a shaky breath.

"I know I cannot go tell father what I think, they will think that I have simply gone mad. Perhaps I have, for missing you. I cannot live without you, my brother." Thor shook his head. "I know not how I have survived thus far."

Thor looked up, gazing around the room. It looked nothing like it had when Loki had lived in it, it was empty, except for the bed nothing was left. Some of it still existed, thanks to Frigga, who had been livid when she discovered what Odin had done to many of Loki's things. What little she was able to save was stored away, deep within the palace, away from prying eyes or broken hearts. The room lay bare and cold, dusty and too clean at the same time

"I will find some way to make this right, Loki. Your sacrifice will not be in vain, I promise you this brother. I will make this right."

* * *

_August 17, 2010 AD_

Baldur was watching his brother from a distance, fiddling with one of the sparring swords while Thor was busy smashing things.

_Thor's heart isn't in this. Odd, considering it's sparring, and it often takes his mind off Loki. What's gotten into him lately?_ _It's been months since Loki's name day, but ever since then...he's been all stiff and un-Thorish. If I didn't know better, I'd assume he was actually __thinking__._

"Do you still keep track of the years?" Baldur asked curtly, looking down the sword he held. Pissing Thor off was one way to get the answers he wanted. Of course it also came with the risk of getting beaten to a pulp, but Loki's old ward spell still kept Baldur from injury, so it wasn't too risky for him. "It's been so long now, almost…oh, four centuries perhaps?" Thor dropped his hammer down, but did not make eye contact with Baldur, barely even glancing at him.

"Why do you care?" Thor snapped. This was what was worrying Baldur, the curtness and spite that Thor had found somewhere in the gushy heart of his. At first, Thor had been more than happy to get closer to Baldur, and then he maintained that relationship, but now, now he had grown cold. Baldur wanted to think that it was just another stage of grief, but something said it wasn't. Perhaps Thor was onto him. _That would be shocking._

"Well, you're my brother. I worry."

"Don't. I am fine." Thor replied curtly.

"Of course." Baldur answered. "You've just been so upset lately, and I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong."

"So why did you ask if I count the years. Of course I count the years, I count them even if I do not wish to." Thor snapped in return. Baldur shrugged in reply. Thor had lasted much longer than he expected, proving the stubbornness was rampant in their family. That was all that was keeping Thor sane, his stubborn willingness to live on, his warrior's heart. _Stupid stubborn Thor. Bull headed idiot._

Baldur wasn't sure what he expected, but really, did he have to be so stupid? Was he obligated to be blind to what was happening around him, or was that just him. Good thing he would be gone soon, and he would never have the throne. That was another thing worrying Baldur, Odin couldn't hold onto the throne much longer, Loki's death had taken a lot out of him too.

"I think you should move on, let him go. He was my brother too, and I loved him as you did b-" Baldur found himself held in the air by the front of his clothes, Thor's blue eyes blazing like the lighting he wielded.

"You cannot know how much I loved Loki. If you loved him remotely as much as I do, you would never have let father kill him!"

"I had no choice! He had to die!"

"You had a choice! You could have spoken to father, forgiven Loki's actions! You know the laws!" Thor boomed. "You…no you wanted him dead didn't you." Baldur's face fell. Perhaps Thor was more intelligent then he gave credit for.

"Wanted him dead, goodness no Thor." Baldur said, patting Thor's arm. "Please put me down…" Thor growled, but let Baldur down. "Thank you. Thor, if I wanted Loki dead, I would at least let him die with some honor, don't you think?" The elder brother didn't seem convinced, but nodded, and then tried to burn a hole in the ground with his eyes. Thor tightened his hand on Mjolnir's handle, and turned his blazing blue eyes to the space over Baldur's shoulder.

* * *

Thor left shortly after his argument with Baldur, he couldn't stand to look at the man. He had no time to deal with the man he could no longer call a brother. At one time he could still consider Baldur, even after all that had happened, but seeing Baldur's callas disregard for all he had done, all the pain he'd caused, it prevented Thor from seeing Baldur as a brother. No brother could ever care so little for his own sibling. Thor raged at the sky once he reached his room, and for some unknown reason, he threw Mjolnir at his desk, sending wood flying about the room.

It was the light flicker of ancient magic that caught his eye, a flash of green and gold so familiar it hurt life a blade twisting in his chest. Thor walked to the shattered remains of his desk, kneeling down to where the flash had been, pulling back a board to reveal a small, old leather bound book. A journal. One of Loki's, he knew it by sight. Carefully, he picked it up off the ground, a bit of magic shocking him as his fingers brushed the surface. As he did, a piece of paper slipped out the front pages, onto the floor. Thor picked it up, opening it up and seeing a page full of runic writing, Loki's writing.

_To explain what is probably very confusing to you, if you've found this, I've written you this letter Thor. I know I'm probably dead, which would be the only way you would ever find this, the spell on it should dispel if I…well, you know. If it doesn't then I hope you've kept your head on a swivel Thor, because you are in grave danger. The contents of the journal you hold in your hand are a run through of what have probably been the last few years of my life. Baldur wants the throne, Thor, he thinks you unfit to rule and seeks to, as he claims, save Asgard from your rule. This book you have is tied to your room with a spell, the only thing holding it in mine is a counterspell that should break should anything happen to me. It should end up on your desk, in plain sight. I hope. Read it, show it to father, do what you like. It should be enough to convince him. I tried to solve this, but I have a sinking feeling, I don't think this is going to end well for me. Baldur is watching me like some kind of predator, like I am his prey. That is why I have done this._

_Also, Thor, if I am dead, always remember that I love you. I figured you might need to hear that again, so listen Thor. I love you._

_Loki_

Thor tightened his jaw against the sadness that threatened to overcome him. He opened the book and read slowly. It was written like a journal, informal and roughly written, as if in haste. Thor ate the pages like fire, flipping through them and reading faster than ever before. Once he finished, fell back into the chair behind him, eyes wide in disbelief. If that was only a few years record of Baldur's actions, what more could there be, how long had this gone on?

Loki had meant this to be found the day he died, something must have gone wrong, horribly wrong with his plan. But it could still be carried out, he could still fix this. All of Loki's work would not be in vain.

* * *

"Father!" Thor threw the doors of the throne room wide open, walking toward his father with a heartbroken conviction. Odin sent away his advisors at the sight of his son, the councilors scuttling away like little rats out the doors. "Father, I found something of great importance." Odin remained silent but nodded. "It's about Baldur and Loki."

"Thor…" Thor cut his father off, holding up the journal he'd just found, and read and reread.

"This," he said shaking it a little, "is Loki's journal, the last date is a month before his death. It recounts Baldur's actions and plans in the few years prior in great detail. I think you will find it most interesting, and very relevant indeed." Odin drew back as Thor handed him the dark leather book, but took it gently. Thor had kept the letter to himself; it was meant for him, not his father. Odin read slowly at first, face impassive, but the speed grew as he went on, eye widening slightly as he continued. He didn't even finish the book, shut it and stood abruptly.

"Guards!" He boomed, sending the guards rushing in. "Find Baldur and bring him to me. If he refuses, arrest him and force him to come." The guards nodded and walked off. "Thor gather the council. There is a trail to be had before he arrives."

"Baldur will not be allowed to speak?"

"No, this trail already happened once before."

Baldur did not seem too happy when he arrived, but he had come under his own fruition, not forced to.

* * *

"All-Father, you wanted to see me?" It was strange how obvious the signs were now, even in just that short sentence, just by not calling Odin father. Odin held up the journal Thor had given him.

"This is Loki's, and it has some very condemning things to say about you, Baldur." He said. Baldur's face dropped. His game was up.

"Surely you don't believe the written words of a murderer over the spoken ones of your own son." Baldur said, trying to salvage the situation. Odin only narrowed his eye.

"You betrayed your brother and allowed him to die for your selfish ambitions for a throne that was not to be yours. Your brother's death is on your head Baldur, you are more a murderer than he ever was."

"Who's to say he didn't attempt to shoot me? No one was there." Baldur shot back.

"He was afraid of you, Thor tells me. He did this a precaution in case his fears came to truth." That bastard Loki, he'd planned on dying hadn't he! This was just a bit of his plan, dying to arouse suspicion in Thor and his father, the bastard! Baldur had severely underestimated how far Loki was willing to go to stop him. "It is good that he did. Baldur, you are charged with the murder of Prince Loki of Asgard, of conspiring to kill myself, your brother, and the queen. I, Odin All-Father, find you guilty of such crimes and strip you of your title, your rank, and your freedom. You are sentenced to live out your life in the prisons of Asgard, never again to see the light of day or the family you have betrayed." Baldur set his jaw as the guards grabbed ahold of him, and Odin took his armor away, leaving him in only a tunic and pants. "Take him away."

* * *

_September 1, 2010 AD_

Thor hadn't been to this balcony since Baldur had found him here days after Loki's execution. It was a few weeks since Baldur had been publicly sentenced, and the news had spread like wildfire, Loki had been completely innocent. He was finally vindicated, the truth was out. Some despicable people claimed they'd known all along, and Thor wanted to punch them, but held back. He'd never seen Sif so happy, overjoyed that her friend was not as corrupted as she believed. She'd relapsed into a new state of mourning for a while, but rose out of it quickly, the emptiness that had overcome her in the last centuries fading away with a new fire that settled in, now truly able to look back on her closest friend with a sense of pride.

Thor, he finally had a sense of closure. This had finally ended, this chapter was over. He was alone now, the only son of Odin and Frigga, but something had come back to him, a little bit of joy long gone, a little hope that had left him. It was strange that finding out of Baldur's betrayal should bring so much joy, it almost felt wrong, but it was a huge weight off of Thor's shoulders. Loki had succeeded, even in death, he'd protected Thor.

It hurt Thor a little, because it should have been him protecting Loki, not the other way around, but still, Loki's sacrifice was not in vain. He'd saved Asgard from Baldur's rule, and that was something to be proud of. Thor felt as though his mourning for Loki could finally stop, though he didn't think he could ever fully let his little brother go, or fully live without Loki by his side.

"Do you want to be alone?" Sif's voice sounded from behind him. She was pulling herself out of the trap door, pausing at the top.

"I have never wanted to be alone up here. The company is welcome." Thor replied. Sif pulled herself out and stood next to him, looking over the city. "It's over, I think I may be able to finally let go." He said with a sigh. "They finally honored him, though we cannot have a funeral."

"Thor…I have something to say." She began tentatively. "It's something Loki told me long ago, I think it may be important." Thor raised an eyebrow. "We might be able to get him back, Thor."


	4. Ch 3: To Hel and Back Again

**Chapter 3: To Hell and Back Again**

* * *

_May 12, 2011 AD_

If there was a list of places Thor did not want to go, Helhiem was on the top of that list. He was not fond of Hela, no one really was. She was cruel, but as a lady of the dead, what more could be expected of her? But Thor was determined. He was going to get his brother back. No one had stood up for him, no believed a word he said, and every word he said had been true. Thor remembered his first conversation with Loki; right after his brother was jailed. Loki had tried to tell Thor that he'd done nothing, but Thor was thickheaded, and refused to listen to Loki. It was his word against Baldur's and everyone knew who was more truthful. Or so they thought. Thor had to make it up to Loki. Or at least he had to try. He felt a little bad about being so harsh with Sif when she first brought up the idea. It was highly taboo, and probably not even possible and Thor hadn't wanted to deal with the false hope. But 8 days ago, on yet another of Loki's name days passing him by, Thor decided to try. He and his father had scoured the library, and come up with only a few, vague references to this tall tale of bringing the dead back, but it was enough. It was enough to try.

So now Thor rode on Sleipnir, to see Hela, to get his brother back. 368 years and 13 days. That was how long Loki had been gone. It was ages, even for Asgardians. Even just one day with Loki, to tell him how sorry he was, to hold him again, to watch him smile again, to hear him laugh again. This would all be worth it. Thor might even be happy with just speaking to Loki again, but his goal was to get Loki's life restored to him. It would be no easy task, Thor knew, and he wished he had brought help with him, or that perhaps Odin would have come, but it was useless now. Thor dismounted his father's horse and held onto the reins. He stood just in front of the halls of Hela herself. It was a daunting place, large black walls rising from the ashy earth and smoke like fog that made up Helhiem. There was no light here, only dark and darker.

"Stay here, Sleipnir." Thor told the eight legged horse, getting a nod and whinny in response. He had to take Odin's mount, all other horses could not make the journey into and out of Hela's realm. Fingering Mjolnir on his belt, Thor walked forward to the hall of Hela. This whole place was devoid of life, and seemed to suck it from any living thing that dared tread it's ground. Thor felt like he was under water, swimming in the air, as the mist wrapped around his body. _Get in, get Loki, get out._ Thor repeated the plan over and over in his mind. Keep it simple. Pushing the doors open, Thor stepped into Hela's hall.

"Odinson. What brings you to my humble abode?" She asked calmly, a wicked smile on her features, face covered from the nose up, except for slits where her eyes were. A throne shaped like a pair of wings arched around behind her, giving her a dragon like appearance. She was dressed in nearly all black, except for hints of a deep red, blood like color. She wore a tattered dress, all in holes near the bottom, and her sleeves were threadbare. All in all, she carried an air of malevolence about her, and gloom to match her realm. Thor bristled at her tone, so nonchalant and careless of any other's needs, dripping with sarcasm and callas disillusionment.

"I have come for my brother, Loki." Thor replied curtly, trying to remind Hela of whom she was speaking to. Hela cocked her head slightly, her smile falling a little. She was not pleased with the news, nor did she seem happy with Thor's pride.

"I do not part with my prizes easily, son of Odin. You must give me something in return." Thor's blood boiled, angry that someone though of Loki's soul like a prize to be bought and sold. Loki was a life! His brother's life!

"Loki is not a prize! He is my brother, a prince of Asgard, and Odin's son! I will not stand to buy back my brother!" Thor yelled, but Hela only smiled at him again. Thor's confidence faltered, why was she smiling at him?

"You gave him to me, you and all of Asgard. He is mine now, not yours. I will do with him as I please. If it pleases me to give him to you, then you will have him. If not, you will not. You are at my mercy, son of Odin." Thor knew she was right. He had to obey Hela here, or risk loosing Loki forever, again. He was no going to do that.

"What do you desire?" Thor asked, ready to receive an impossible task, a crushing blow that was just a roundabout and cruel of saying no.

"Simple. I want you to beg." _What?!_ "I want you to beg for Loki's life. If you beg hard enough, I will give him to you. This is my bargain." She wanted him, Thor, the crown prince of Asgard, to _beg._ Thor didn't know that he could, it was so wrong such an affront to his pride.

His pride.

He'd be dammed if he let his pride get in the way of Loki's chance to live again. "Please, Lady Hela, allow my brother to return with me to Asgard."

"I said beg, Odinson. You are still standing." Hela's voice held an almost sick humor to it, and Thor's ego was writhing in his chest. _Damn this woman._

Swallowing his pride, Thor kneeled before Hel, and begged. "I ask you, Hela, queen of the dead, that you might release my brother to me. Please."

"Why should I?" Hela raised her eyebrows. She wasn't going to make this easy in any way, was she? Thor choked on his pride. _Loki. You're doing this for Loki. It's worth it, it is worth it._

"Because I'm begging you to do so, please, my lady, hear my request. Honor my plea, Lady Hela." This was as far as Thor would go. He could beg no more. But thankfully, Hela seemed satisfied.

"I suppose that is the best I will get out of a son of Odin. Very well, I will give you your brother back." Thor caught a small loophole. Hela was known for cruelty, and Thor would not pay, or let Loki pay, for missing some trick hidden in her words. Loki had paid for enough of Thor's mistakes.

"For how long? You will not interfere with his life after he returns, correct?" Thor asked. He did not want to have Loki for only a day, or a year, just to have to loose him to Hela again.

"He will be free of me until his time may come. I will not call him back here, you have my word." Hela replied. Thor wasn't sure how much he trusted Hela's word, but it was all he had. "Go get Loki." She told some guards, ghosts perhaps. The spirits left to get Loki. "I must inform you of some things. When you first get him, he will be a corpse. Lifeless until you leave my realm. His spirit should return after you leave. If it does not, I will see what went wrong, and what I can do. Also, I cannot promise you he will be well. Near four centuries he's been with me, Odinson, I have never given back one so old. He will be very weak at first, so you will have to give him some time. Do not rush him, or his body will give up and he will return to my realm."

"Why?" Thor asked, Hela looked at him like he was stupid.

"Why? He's been dead for nearly four hundred years, that's why! I may be the queen of the dead, but it has happened in the past that people have rushed those I return to them, and they come to me. I cannot return anyone a second time." Hel looked away, looking almost upset. "I know you have no affection for me, but each of us have our jobs in life, and mine is here, Odinson. I promise that I have brought no undue harm to your brother in his stay with me. And I can say that because of your actions here, I have much more respect for you than for your father. He would never come to my realm and beg on his knees for any of his sons, I did not expect any less from you."

"If you did not expect me to beg, you wished to keep him, correct?" Thor asked. Hela nodded.

"I wish to keep all I have with me, that is the natural order, Odinson. When people die, so they remain dead for eternity. I must preserve this order. But I told you I would release him to you if you begged, and you did beg." Hela sighed, looking back to Thor. "And if a son of Odin is willing to beg for someone's life, he must love that someone very much, and would do anything to have them back. There are some occasions when even I must have a heart." Thor couldn't help the small smirk that danced across his face at her words. Perhaps Hela wasn't so bad as everyone thought her to be. Perhaps she was simply stuck with a horrid lot in life. At any rate, with Loki as a brother, he might be better off on her good side. Soon, Thor saw Hel's guards returning. "Ah, here he is now." She announced. The spirits were dragging Loki, as he was taller than they, his limp body hanging from their arms that supported his shoulders. "One more thing. When he first wakes, his first and only thoughts will be of his death, and from what I know, it was painful, traumatic. He will not be calm. You will have to calm him, lest he die again." With that warning, Hel waved Thor to pick up his brother, who was laid out on the floor. Thor picked Loki up gingerly, trying to ignore the lifelessness and focus on the fact that he'd soon have his brother back. It shocked him just how light Loki was. Thor had carried his brother before, but he was never this light. He was frail as glass in Thor's arms, like fine china. Loki's head rested against one of Thor's strong arms, and other than the pallor of death, coldness and lack of breath, he looked as though he were in a peaceful sleep. What disturbed Thor most was his brother's clothes, the exact ones he wore the day of his execution, still bearing the hole and stains from the deadly wound. Thor could see a scar there, as if he'd been healed in his time here. He turned to leave, carrying his precious burden with care.

"Goodbye, Lady Hel." Thor spoke, and then left. Sleipnir was waiting exactly where Thor left him, and the crown prince sat Loki's limp form in front of himself on the horse, holding Loki's chest tightly so he did not jostle too much or fall. He tried to ignore Loki's head rolling back into his shoulder. Riding swiftly but smoothly, Thor came headed to where he had been dropped. It was a haunting ride, all of Thor's worst and happiest dreams coming into the same moment like some kind of nightmarish fulfillment of a wish. All these years and this was all he wanted, this frail man in his arms. Now he was here, all Thor had to do was bring him home, just bring his brother home. So simple a task, yet so much leaning on it. Thor wondered, somewhere at the back of his mind, whether Loki would be the same, if Loki would be himself, or if his time here would have changed him, harmed him. Thor wondered if Loki would ever forgive them for what they had done to him. Thor knew he'd have trouble forgiving them, he had trouble forgiving his father now, and he wasn't even the one directly affected. Would Loki forgive Thor for not standing up for him, not believing him? Thor didn't know what he would do if his brother hated him. He would understand, certainly, and he would be happy that Loki was simply _alive_ but it would be hard to be so far removed if Loki now despised him. Thor prayed that wasn't the case, Loki had always been a forgiving person, perhaps he could find it within his heart to forgive their unforgivable acts.

Sleipnir halted, though he was gentle on his own, as if minding the precious cargo of the man who had found him as an abandoned foal and taken care of him since then. The eight-legged horse was no child of Loki, the prince had no children, contrary to Midgardian belief, but he had cared for and trained Sleipnir when he was young. There was no better horse in Asgard. Thor looked down, unsure why his mount had stopped, but a glance down told him why. They had reached the Bifrost site, the burned earth beneath them twisting in black knotted patterns altering all who crossed that Asgardians were here. Thor looked up to the sky, and let out a mighty yell to the sky.

Thor was going home, and so was Loki.

* * *

Heimdal pulled his sword form the center of the Bifrost slowly, still surprised at the sight of the long lost prince Loki leaning on his brother's chest. Thor had his arms wrapped tightly around Loki's chest, making him look even smaller and frailer than usual. He swung himself off Sleipnir and laid his brother out on the floor, checking him over for any sign of life. He found nothing, Loki was still as stone and pale as snow, his skin tinged gray in the light of Bifrost observatory. Thor pulled his brother into his arms again, cradling his body on his knees.

"I see you were successful in your quest." Heimdal's deep voice stated. Thor hopped he didn't see the begging. _Anything but the begging._

"I have not succeeded until Loki breathes again, and still he does not." Thor looked at his brother in despair. _Please, Loki, come back to us. To me, to father, to mother. Please!_ Nothing. Thor held his little brother's head in his massive palm gently; like he was made of glass and one wrong move could shatter everything. He looked at Heimdal and just as he did so…

Loki gasped, air returning to him after so long. His green eyes snapped open, full of fear and aguish. He continued to gasp for air and choke, as if he'd forgotten how to breathe, looking frantic, and writhed out of Thor's arms, scrambling backwards as if trying and failing to stand. Thor was a bit dumbfounded, shocked at what he saw, but Hela's words echoed in his mind, and he snapped to action, reaching out for his brother.

"Loki, Loki calm down." Loki didn't seem to hear, his breath becoming even more ragged and strained. "Please calm down brother, you will hurt yourself." Thor tried to grab his shoulders, but Loki started to scrabble at his chest, in the area the arrow had hit him. Thor could see a terror in his eyes that seemed so out of place, in comparison to the stoicism of his last moments. "Loki!" Thor yelled, making his brother jump, trying desperately to snap him back into reality. But it worked, and Loki's eyes dropped into focus, gazing at Thor.

"Thor?" He asked in a soft voice, still breathing heavily. "What, how? Why are you here? What's going on?" He was so confused. Hela's realm didn't look like this. This was the Bifrost.

"It's ok, Loki. We brought you back. Hela returned you to me. You are in Asgard." Thor answered. Loki's eyes got even wider.

"You mean, I'm, I'm _alive?_" He asked. He already knew the answer. He could feel the rise and fall of his own chest, how his heart beat again, how he could think clearly again, how he could feel again. Thor didn't get to answer, Loki all but jumped at him, wrapping him in the embrace Thor had missed so very much. Thor returned it warmly, but much more gently than he used to, careful of his brother's weakness. Loki's frame shook with emotion; Thor could feel tears on his shoulder. Loki was crying.

"It's alright brother, you're home, you're alive." Loki shuddered again, and all he knew that was Thor was speaking, not what he was saying. The initial shock was wearing off, the last clear thoughts he'd had were of his mother, holding him. Now the world was fading again, not like dying, no. He was just so very tired. Thor was talking too much.

"Thor." He spoke as loud as he could manage, barely above a whisper.

"Yes?" Thor sounded so happy. That made Loki glad.

"I am very tired."

"Oh, yes! Of course. Can you walk?" Loki shook his head. He then felt Thor lifting him off the ground, and beginning to walk. "I suppose I'll have to carry you then." Loki didn't really answer. He was fighting to stay awake. He could hear people, but did not know what they were saying. Eventually, he gave up trying, and let himself fall into a light form of sleep in Thor's arms.

* * *

Thor carried Loki all the way to his own room, though it was a longer route than usual, having to avoid prying eyes that should not see him. The few servants they trusted the slightest bit with the knowledge of what was going on had cleaned it for him, brought back all that they could, replacing the items lost with others, filling the empty bookshelves with tomes from the library, mother putting the many old journals back where she had found them. It now looked much like it had nearly 400 years ago, when it's occupant still inhabited it. By the time Thor reached his room and set Loki out on the bed, but Loki was still awake, though just barely. He'd mumbled a few things on the way there, but Thor couldn't make any of it out, he seemed to weak to do anything. Thor drew back sadly, letting Loki settle, though he hardly moved. The green eyes cracked open when he felt the bed beneath him, scanning his room sluggishly. Finally they slid to Thor, and quickly registered the sadness there.

"Thor…" Loki whispered, clawing back awake. He had to know what was troubling his brother. He patted the bed feebly, trying to tell his brother to come, getting the volume to speak to him as far away as he stood was too hard. Thor got the message, sitting on the bed next to his brother. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong brother." Thor replied, but Loki shook his head weakly, he knew the look in Thor's eyes, something was troubling him.

"You…are worried, brother. Why?" Loki's voice was rough and nearly inaudible, Thor had to strain to hear each word. He sighed, looking into the foggy green eyes he had missed so much. Weakness seemed to bleed from Loki, there was no strength in his form. Thor reached a hand toward Loki, but paused.

"Can you ever forgive me?" He asked, eyes closed as he looked away, dreading Loki's answer. Something grabbed his hand, and Thor slowly moved his eyes toward it, seeing familiar pale fingers wrapped around his own.

"You are already forgiven, brother." Loki sighed. "You all are."

"But…"

"No." Loki said, his voice carrying force despite its quietness. "I forgive you…hold nothing against you…please…forgive yourself." Thor nodded and Loki smiled slightly. Thor didn't look so troubled now, he could let sleep take him. Sweet sleep.

Thor sat there, watching his brother for a few moments, holding his hand gently as he gazed at the rise and fall of Loki's chest, reminding himself that this was in fact real, that he wasn't dreaming, that he had not gone mad. The year before, when Sif told him of the old legend, he had never dared to hope that he would see his brother again. And yet now here he was, and he hadn't changed at all.

"Thor?" It was his mother, standing in the doorway her eyes shining with tears. "Is he…"

"He's sleeping." Thor said, turning back to his brother. "He was very tired." Frigga smiled slightly and glided into the room. "I spoke to him, a little."

"What about?"

"He forgives us mother." Thor told her, grinning at her. It was a huge weight off his shoulders. "He hasn't changed." Frigga smiled, pulling Loki's desk chair over to sit next to the large bed.

"Neither have his clothes." She chuckled slightly, and took hold of the hand Thor was holding. Gold shimmered over Loki's body and his bloodied clothes vanished, changing to a light green tunic and loose black pants, something to sleep in. Loki stirred a little at the change, taking a deep breath, but stayed asleep. "You say he forgives us?"

"He did. Or…no yes, he forgave all of us." Thor smiled at his mother.

"My boy." Frigga smiled. "So willing to forgive." She knew why, when Thor did not. Loki had gathered his forgiving nature so young because otherwise, he would hate all those around him. He'd learned the strength in forgiving people long ago; she did not doubt that he would find it in him to forgive them, even if it hurt.

"Never understood how he could, especially for this. We all betrayed him, how could he ever forgive us?" Thor asked.

"Your brother is a good man, Thor. He knows we love him, he knows that we felt betrayed, and lashed out. He does not want to do the same as us." Frigga said.

"He's a better man than me, then. I don't think I could do the same." Thor mumbled in reply.

"You could find it in you, I hope." Thor raised his eyebrows at his mother, wondering why she would say such a thing. "You can never know what the fates may throw at you, my son. Loki did not, and you do not. It may be unkind, it may be kind." Frigga brushed a piece of hair out of Loki's face, sighing. "My sweet little Loki. You're home, you're home. Fates be kind to you my child, you have earned it."


	5. Ch 4: Home Again, Home Again

**Chapter 4: Home Again, Home Again**

_May 23, 2011 AD_

The second prince of Asgard was back, not that anyone knew, and not that he was by any means well. Hale and healthy was not how one could describe Loki Odinson. For three days straight after he returned, he slept. He could not be awakened, which made Thor nervous. He would shake his brother and call to him, and get no response, at all. It was on the fourth day that Loki fully woke, Thor and Frigga were both with him, though Thor had fallen asleep in the seat he'd pulled from the fireplace, head on Loki's bed, holding his hand in a vice grip. Frigga had been awake, she being the one who had told Thor to sleep. Loki had been more than a little disoriented, but he fought through the fog to speak a little with his mother. He woke more often afterwards, but he was still so tired all of the time, he could barley speak, telling Thor it was exhausting talk and try to sit up. Loki wouldn't eat, barely drank, and refused to move out of his bed. It was a week from his resurrection and Thor's patience was gone. Loki was going to eat _something_ today.

"Loki! Brother wake up!" Loki groaned as Thor barged into his room. He wished had had more energy, or he would have barred Thor from coming in at all. But as he could not, Loki resorted to rolling over and pulling his covers over his head. It worked on Odin, and Frigga would usually leave him be if he seemed too tired. Thor was different. Thor was Thor, and Thor was an idiot. "Loki, get up! It's a wonderful day!" Thor spread out the curtains, which Loki had asked stay closed so he could sleep easier during the day. He squeezed his eyes shut as the light poured into the room.

"Thor, I'm trying to sleep. Please leave me be." He grated out, pulling himself farther under his blanket to try and hide from the light. Thor refused to let him, and pulled the comforter off his bed. Loki yelped and curled up into a ball, peaking out to scowl at Thor, and grasping his sheets tightly.

"Come on, little brother, you have to eat, or you will soon blow away in the wind. I do not want that to happen. Come, Loki. You cannot starve yourself." Thor began to pull at the sheets, but found Loki's grip even weaker than he thought. Though his brother held them tightly, Thor took them easily.

Loki finally looked at Thor through squinting eyes, unused to being used. "You don't have any food with you." Loki looked confused.

"Of course not. We're going to get some together, from the kitchens." Thor replied. Loki would have rolled his eyes, if he were not so tired from sitting up and talking.

"Thor, no one knows I'm alive. Even if I _could_ walk, I wouldn't because no one is supposed to know I'm here, remember?"

"Could you at least get out of your bed then, sit by the fireplace?"

"No. I really can't Thor, I'm sorry." Loki fell back into a laying position, closing his eyes and sighing. He expected Thor to say something, urge him to at least try to stand, but nothing came, only silence. Loki opened one eye again, and looked at Thor. He'd never seen his brother so upset, eyes glued to the floor and brimming, red with unshed tears, blond eyebrows meshing into each other and face pulled tight in sadness. "Thor, what's wrong?" Loki pried himself up so he sat against his headboard. Thor's blue eyes looked almost as tired as Loki felt, and they were full of guilt.

"This is my fault." Loki cocked his head. _His fault?_ "If I had listened to you, then none of this would have happened, would still be happening." Thor didn't like this. He felt so helpless, so useless. He'd failed Loki when it counted the most, and now he was failing again.

"How in the nine realms could any of this possibly be your fault?" Thor started to talk, but Loki cut him off. "I admit, I did not expect what happened, Baldur's method of getting me out of the way was more underhanded than I thought it would be, but I cannot see how you place the blame on your shoulders. Baldur was quite clever in what he did, he caught me unawares and used everything against me. If I had been in your position, and you were on trial, I'm afraid I would have sided with Baldur as well. But, all in all, things worked out as I hoped they might, everything after my… well it went as I intended."

"What do mean, as you intended?" Thor asked. The younger frowned, green eyes swimming with confusion.

"You got that letter I wrote, didn't you?" Loki asked quietly, hoping that had been the case. He knew something had gone rather wrong with his spell, given that nearly four centuries had passed since his death, and perhaps Thor had never found the notebook. But Thor nodded, which sent Loki into more confusion. "I described it in there. Don't think I meant to die or anything, I was only making a contingency plan in case it came to that." Loki explained. "How come it took you so long to find it?"

"Something went wrong with your spell, I think. The book only appeared when I destroyed my desk with Mjolnir."

"Oh." Loki looked a bit ashamed at his misstep. Thor ran his hands through his hair, laughing softly.

"Do you want any food, brother?" Loki raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. Thor got up then, and went to the door.

"Thor, wait, aren't you-." Thor left the room, and shut the door, "going to ask what I want. Oh well." Loki settled back into a more comfortable position sitting up. He'd have to sit up to eat anything, and getting up was tiring, so best to stay up. He wasn't going to hold his breath, though. Thor was always easily distracted. Best to forget food, he wasn't even hungry.

* * *

Carrying two plates of food, one piled much higher than the other, Thor pushed his way though Loki's door. At least the palace was mostly empty, so he didn't have to sneak around too much, though he had gotten a few odd looks from the kitchen staff when he was gathering the goodies. He was quiet as he did so, wondering if Loki was still awake, and indeed he was, though he was not looking at Thor. He was staring down his nightstand, a book he clearly wanted perched on top of it. His brother watched him for a moment until finally, Thor couldn't resist, crept up to Loki and whispered in his ear.

"Boo." Loki's head spun around his eyes wide with shock, not even bothering to cover it as his chest heaved up and down, until he finally calmed himself and glowered at his brother. Thor smiled; despite the fact that Loki's initial reaction had made him a little nervous. "Consider that revenge for all the times you have surprised me." Thor walked over with the two plates of food he had, passing Loki the lighter one.

"You make it too easy." Loki took the plate from Thor, and looked at its contents. What was on it surprised Loki more than Thor's entrance. It had all of what were his favorite foods on it, ready and waiting for him. None of the typical hardy Asgardian fare that Thor so loved, instead he had a plate of fruit mostly.

"Did you honestly think I wouldn't recall my own brother's favorite foods? Loki, I'm hurt." Loki glanced up a Thor from his plate, smiling broadly.

"I didn't think you paid any attention to my eating habits." Loki replied. Thor shrugged and motioned for Loki to eat his food as Thor himself stuffed his face. Loki just stared at it. Thor paused in his consumption, swallowing thickly as he looked at his younger brother.

"Loki, what's wrong?" Thor asked, seeing that Loki hadn't touched any of the food.

"Nothing is wrong Thor. I just haven't eaten in 400 years." _Oh._ He hadn't thought of that really. He knew it was the truth, and a truth he could hardly imagine. Thor loved food, not having it for so long would be worse than death. For Loki, it was only now that he had the food in front of him did he realize just how hungry he was. At the moment, part of him just wanted to wolf down the entire plate, but the rest of his mind reminded him that this _was _the _first_ time he'd eaten in 368 years, so he should probably savor it. So he did, eating his fruit ever so slowly. "I missed food." Well, he hadn't really missed it. He'd had no sense of anything; it was like he had merely ceased to exist. There was one fuzzy memory, of light and gold and someone with a deep voice telling him it would be all right, he'd be ok, and then nothing. For what was both ages and an instant, like a deep dreamless sleep, there was nothing. But it was still pure joy when the flavor hit him.

Thor laughed quietly at Loki. His brother had his eyes closed, a small subtle smile in his face, the picture of pleasure. "Feeling better?" He asked once Loki had finished.

"Yes, much." Loki replied, turning to Thor and smiling softly. "Thank you." For the first time, Loki really felt _alive_, like he was really living and breathing and not just a dead body with thoughts and a beating heart. Thor smiled as he gathered the plates of food and walked to the table by the door to put them down for the servants.

Silence hung in the air for a moment, neither brother saying anything. It was not as though Thor had nothing to say, he had so much to say. He had so much to tell Loki, things he'd never said, forgotten to tell his beloved brother. He just could not find the words, it was as though his jaw was locked by indecision, and his own useless tongue could form no words to say what he so longed to.

Loki said nothing either. His dilemma was quite different than Thor's, however. To him, the four hundred years since he'd died had felt like both an eternity and only an instant. Stuck in limbo for so long, where there is no sense of time but the tickings of his own fogged mind, Loki had nothing to tell. He felt so lost, desperate for anyone to tell him anything of the time he'd lost, so much time it caused him a ceaseless agony, making his very soul itself ache. Loki had nothing to say, but longed only to be held, to be talked to, to know that even after his long absence, he'd never been forgotten. Loki was all too aware that he had lost so much time, it was panging in his mind every moment.

There was one thing that Thor did not forget about his brother, and it was how Loki looked when he was distressed. His eyes would fill with worry, and he would stare off into nowhere. What Thor could not know was what troubled his brother. It could be any number of things, and Thor could not choose. Then a thought struck him. No one outside of the royal family, besides Heimdal and a very few trusted servants, knew of Loki's return. There were a number of reasons for this, chief among them a fear for Loki's life. But it meant that the only people he had seen were Thor, his mother and father. So perhaps a change of faces would do Loki good. Sif of course should know that her plan had worked, not that she even it had been enacted in the first place. And of course the warriors three were Loki's friends, they should know, and it would do Loki good to see them.

"I will be right back." Loki looked up abruptly as Thor left his room, only to poke his head back in. "Try to stay awake until I return." Thor rushed down the hall, going to the first place he could think of his friends being. They had claimed the balcony for themselves long ago, and it was always a good place to start if looking for any of the Warriors Three.

* * *

Even from down the hall, Thor could hear Volstagg's boisterous laughter. What he could not hear was what he was laughing about. Sif was telling a story that few others knew about her and Loki. It was of course the result of loosing a bet.

"And so of course Loki was horrified! He had no idea what to do, or even what to say. He just stood there, gaping, completely dumbfounded! So the dwarf continues, saying that is so very rare for Æsir to have black hair, and that he had not heard of any besides the prince…"

"Oh no." Fandral laughed, knowing what must come next.

"So Loki grabs me with one arm around my shoulder and he says, 'no, sir, this is my sister, and Odin and Frigga only have sons.' Of course the dwarf just shakes his head, says that me and Loki look nothing alike, other than our hair of course. Then Loki says that I was adopted, at which point I got fed up and slapped him."

"In the face?" Fandral asked, shocked that Sif had struck her prince. Sif nodded, smiling.

"He took it very well though, and I had hit him quite hard. But the dwarf was convinced that if the man with me _was_ the prince of Asgard, he would never have taken being slapped in the face by a subordinate woman so well, and let us right in. And the most shocking part of it is that he hardly cared, he just rubbed his jaw a bit and told me it was fine!"

"I still cannot believe you slapped a member of the royal family! And he never told anyone!" Volstagg laughed again. It was at this moment that Thor entered the room. He'd been standing behind the door for sometime, listening to the story Sif told. It was not one he'd heard before, and he was going to have to ask Loki if it was true. However, most of the backs in the room were turned to him, and the members of the conversation so consumed with it, that none saw Thor come in.

"I for one am not entirely sure of all the stories details." Fandral said. "I think that perhaps Loki would have had a rather different telling of it, Sif." Finally, seeing that he was unnoticed, Thor coughed loudly. All the heads in the room spun to him, and Fandral looked particularly pale. "Thor! I was not aware you were there."

"It is alright my friend." Thor replied, earning a confused look from the others, though Hogun was stoic as ever. Usually Thor would get very sullen when Loki was spoken of, so his friends rarely did so with him present. Thor sat down on the couch near them, trying to figure how to tell them his rather large secret.

"I have noticed, Thor, that you have been in rather good spirits of late. And you seem to be spending a good deal of time near or in Loki's old room. Why?" Sif asked. She knew it was a bold question, but she had to ask, she had to know if her suspicions were true. Much to her surprise, Thor smiled broadly.

"Can you keep a secret, my friends?" They all nodded, saying they could. "It is vital that you repeat to no one what I am to tell you. And please, do not think me mad, I am not." Thor paused, hushing his usually booming voice. "Loki is alive." He got a couple of blank stares. "I assure you, I am not mad, I was just speaking with him a moment ago." The warriors in the room could not believe their ears. Loki, Prince Loki, dead for nearly 4 centuries, was alive? Well, Sif was beaming because she knew her little plan she told Thor of had worked.

"How?!" Fandral finally blurted out.

"Hela. She returned him to me, not two weeks ago. We haven't told anyone yet as Loki is less than healthy, today was the first time I have gotten him to eat anything." It took a moment for the news to sink in for everyone. Fandral was the first to respond.

"Can we go and speak to him?" He asked. Thor nodded quickly.

"Yes of course, that is why I came. Now, I did not tell Loki that I went to get you, so he might have fallen back asleep while I was gone. It's almost all he does."

"Is he all right?" Sif asked, concerned. Thor nodded, but with considerably less conviction than before. He was not sure if Loki was all right, but had faith that his brother was recovering.

"Come, I think it would do him good to see familiar faces." Thor said, standing. "Just don't tell anyone of his being here." He repeated, again getting confirmation from his friends. It was a quick and quiet journey to Loki's room. Like it did for Thor, this room held a number of memories for each of the warriors, mostly revolving around a problem they had that they had gone to the younger prince for help with. Every time, without fail and whatever he was doing, Loki would help his friends; that was something they could count on. His door was open to them, for anything at all. But none of them had been there for so many years, memories still hanging oppressively in the air.

When the reached the golden carved doors, Sif could feel her heart pounding in her chest, so hard she was sure the others could hear it, and she almost it mistook the sound of Thor's knocking. There was no answer, and Thor figured that Loki had simply fallen back into sleep while he was gone, but upon opening the door, he found that was wrong.

"Why didn't you answer, Loki?" Thor asked, standing in the door still. The warriors stood behind him, unable to see.

"I knew you would just come in any way, so I saw little point in wasting my breath." Sif put her hands over her mouth at the sound of a voice she had not heard in so long. Both Fandral and Volstagg's eyes grew wide, and even Hogun looked a little surprised. "Thor, what are you hiding?"

"Your friends want to see you." Thor answered. Loki looked up from his book, looking a little confused.

"My friends? Thor, no one is supposed to know I'm here." Loki asked, a bit wary and trying to see past Thor. Thor shrugged.

"I told them." Loki rolled his eyes. Leave it to Thor to forget the rules because he wanted to do something. Oh well, Loki supposed his friends could be trusted, and he did want to see them.

"Well don't just stand in the doorway, Thor. Let them in." Thor smiled broadly, letting the warriors in after him. Sif was the first into the room, and she lost all restraint at the door. She rushed over to his bedside, throwing her arms around his thin frame, pulling him into a tight embrace that he returned as much as he could. She let go of him, looking him over.

"You look well." She said, trying not to slight Loki. In reality, he looked terrible. Loki smirked at her.

"There is no need to lie Sif, I know very well I look like death warmed over." Loki said, then clamped his jaw shut, immediately regretting his choice of words. Where was his silver tongue when he needed it? Fandral seemed to be the only one to find humor in the remark, smiling as he sat down at the foot of Loki's bed. "It is good to see you all. I can honestly say I missed you." Loki smiled at his friends. Like he had told Thor in those foggy moments on his first day, he forgave them, all of them. They had all thought he'd betrayed everything and everyone, they had reacted in kind. He had expected no more of them than that, he had expected no more of anyone. That didn't mean it didn't hurt, it meant he understood their actions, and he could forgive them. Besides, they knew the truth now, and they held nothing against him any longer, enough was enough.

"We missed you as well, Loki. There was no one to get us out of trouble any longer, and Thor was a terrible wet blanket all of the time." Fandral said with a smirk, eyes wandering over to the elder prince. Loki looked over at his brother with an apologetic look in his eyes, Thor smiled softly back. Volstagg came over, clapping a hand on Loki's shoulder, making the frail prince wince slightly.

"It is good to see you, my friend. We thought you gone forever." The large warrior exclaimed. Loki smiled and shook his head.

"So did I. I have to say, Thor, I have no idea how you convinced Hela to send me back. Care to tell us the tale?" Loki asked, making all of the warriors turn to Thor, looking for the story. Thor shook his head. His pride would be far to damaged by the story, and it was not a pleasant one for him. Carrying Loki back from Hel on Sleipnir was one of the worst times of his life. The sight and feel of Loki's lifeless and cold form laying against him, head lolling onto Thor's shoulder, arms and body hanging limp and jostling with each step Sleipnir took had been seared into his memory. He did not want to relive that, not now, not ever.

"I cannot share that story with you, my friends. It is not a good one." Thor said simply. Loki cocked his head but let his brother deny them, returning to the conversation with his friends. Thor listened happily, mind wandering back to the days before Loki had been accused, killed. Days when he, his brother, and his friends would sit on their balcony telling stories all day long, when he would tease Loki about always reading, or about his pursuit of magic. Thor let the memories wrap around him, calming him. He felt that he could be returning to those days, when things were well in the world, when Thor had his younger brother by his side and everything was going to be just fine.

Thor's friends were still trying to wrap their heads around the fact that they were speaking to their long dead friend. He was just as they recalled him, though he was weaker and thinner than before, but there was the familiar life and light in his bright green eyes. It was a shock to their systems, to be sitting there with him, but they each forced themselves to forget it, and speak as if nothing had happened, forget the transgressions passed between them and talk as friends.

Though it was the longest Loki had stayed awake in a very long time, he tired quickly as he spoke with his friends. He forced himself to remain aware of the conversation, but he was slipping closer and closer to sleep as they continued to talk. Eventually, he could stay awake no longer, and slipped into the warm arms of rest.

"I think our friend is tired." Hogun said, rising slowly and quietly. The warriors three slipped out of the room silently, leaving Thor and Sif as Loki slept. Sif was sitting next to Loki's beside, gazing at him with wet eyes. Happy tears, Thor knew. Sif and Loki had been close friends, both constantly having to prove themselves and their worth, their "penance" for taking up practices usually left to the opposite gender. Thor had known for a long time, even before Loki was proved to have been innocent of the things he was accused of, that she had longed to apologize for the things she had said to him when he was awaiting death. It had served to get worse after he was vindicated, which was part of the reason she had come to him with the plan to get him back, she was desperate to tell him how sorry she was.

"He usually wakes if you shake his shoulder." Thor whispered. Sif smiled, wiping an eye as Thor left. She sat there for a while, trying to gather the words to say how sorry she was. Loki was always so good with them, and she was so unskilled. Would he even forgive her? Her words had been so harsh to him, words of pure hatred. They were once close friends, and she had turned her back on him without even so much as a thought. There was a time when she would have come into this room with any number of troubles or worries and let him help her, let him banish them to the wind. Now she could not even gather the courage to say how terribly sorry she was. Sif sighed, telling herself not to be coward. The air had to be cleared.

"Loki…" Sif whispered. She looked up, confronted only by the peacefully sleeping form of her friend. She reached out a hand to his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Loki, I need to talk to you." Loki's green eyes blinked open slowly, locking onto Sif's face.

"What is it Sif?" He asked groggily, rubbing one of his eyes. Sif felt a little guilty for waking him, but continued her course of action.

"I wanted to apologize to you, for the things I said to you, before…" she trailed off; hoping Loki would know what she was talking about. She found herself staring at the floor, afraid to look at Loki and see rejection there. "They were wrong, I was wrong. Even if what Baldur said was the truth, I should never have said such things to you. I am sorry, Loki. I was your friend, and I betrayed you, I didn't trust you." Loki leaned down, trying to get a look at Sif's face.

"Sif. Sif, look at me." He whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder. Sif looked up with sad, red eyes. He smiled at her warmly, holding her shoulder as strongly as he could. "Sif, you are my friend. I will never hold against you the words you said then. For all you knew, I had betrayed you, my country, my king and my own brother. You had every right to hate me, I do not blame you. And I forgive you."

"You do?" Sif asked, her voice hopeful. Loki pulled her closer to himself, leaning over to her. Sif returned the embrace.

"Of course I do Sif." He whispered. He felt Sif sigh in relief on his shoulder, and he smiled tiredly to himself. They pulled apart and Loki sighed. "Now, I was asleep, and I am exhausted." He said, sending her a look.

"Of course!" Sif almost jumped out of her seat, feeling much lighter now. "Rest well, Loki. And get better quickly." She said, slipping out of the room. Loki let out a long breath, slid down to a more comfortable position, pulled his covers over him, and slept once more.


	6. Ch 5: Have You Told Them?

_**Chapter 2: Have You Told Them?**_

_June 3, 2011_

Loki's recovery sped up considerably after the one-week mark. His strength returned to him, the clinging exhaustion went away with the wind. His ability to walk returned, and with it came the desire to leave his room. However, Loki's very life was still a closely guarded secret, and Odin wasn't going to let his still weak son wander around the palace like some ghost.

"What do you think is going to happen to me? That someone will jump out of the shadows and attack me?" Loki asked his father, who was standing across the room from him. Odin took a deep breath. He understood Loki's angst, but Loki had to understand their concern.

"Loki, as strong as you may feel, your body will be very weak for some time to come. It is not just that someone might attack you, but rather some illness or disease." Odin tried to explain. Loki's glare told him that the explanation had made him even more upset.

"So you're worried I'll get sick? Is that it?" Loki snapped from his seat. "Your scared that if I go outside my room, I will catch some sickness, and die?" Odin flinched at little at the last words, but smoothed over it quickly.

"It is not only that, Loki." Odin replied. "As you know, few people know of your being here. Not the whole of Asgard believes what Baldur did. If any of those knew of you, Loki, they would call for your death again. Some of them may even act. Even within our own guard, Loki, there are those that do not believe Baldur has done anything." Loki looked at the ground, conceding the point.

"When do I get out, then?" He asked, turning his emerald gaze back at his father. "You cannot plan to keep this a secret forever, father."

"The knowledge will be made public when you are strong enough to protect yourself." Odin replied.

"Won't you need a healer to tell you that?" Loki asked pointedly, reminding his father that even Eir, the chief healer, was oblivious to what was going on. Odin just scowled at him. "Thor cannot keep the secret for very long, you know. A few more weeks and he'll be like a giddy school girl with something to gossip about."

"Loki." Odin said sternly.

"You know it's true." Odin's scowl only deepened, and Loki left off his humor, which apparently his father no longer welcomed. Then a thought wormed its way into his mind, nagging at him until it was addressed.

"What have you done with Baldur?" He asked quietly. He looked up, locking eyes with his father.

"He is in the dungeons." Odin replied sternly. "He does not know you are alive."_ Well of course not._ Loki nodded, pulling himself out of his chair.

"I want to speak with him." Loki announced. Odin frowned. "Before you say no, let me explain. I have thing to say to him, things I need to tell him. Despite all he has done to you and Thor and I, he is still my brother. I cannot leave him down there in prison and forget about him." Odin's gaze softened, understanding Loki's request. He nodded slowly, he could appease Loki in this matter.

"I will take you to see him, but you will have to be quiet, my concealment spells are not quite so effective as I know yours are." Loki nodded gently, keeping silent. Odin nodded quickly, then led his son out of the room. Loki hadn't walked very far, or very fast, in a long time. Odin's quick pace to the dungeon, which was a long way from his room, might prove more tiring than he expected. And through the walk, his mind was so occupied with seeing Baldur, he was oblivious to his home passing him by, not sparing a glance at the golden walls he'd known so well.

Odin spoke to the guards as Loki slipped by them quietly. Baldur's cell was apart form the others there, in the back on its own. Loki walked carefully by the light of the walls, clear and shinning like gold in the gloom. The insides of the cells were blank and white, nothing inside them but the prisoners they held. Baldur's cell was no different, and the former prince sat against the back wall, staring out at the nothing before him. Loki felt his father shed his concealment spell, and Baldur's eyes locked onto him instantly.

"Well, this is a surprise. My long dead brother, paying me a visit." Baldur said in a singsong tone. He picked himself up off the ground, coming over to the wall where Loki stood. "What could you possibly want?"

"Just to talk." Baldur came away from the window, laughing bitterly.

"To talk. Like you wanted to talk in the range? Like then?" He asked, looking at Loki over his shoulder, dark blue eyes like slits. "Are you here to say I told you so?"

"No, Baldur. I'm not here to gloat, I'm here to talk." Baldur whirled around, slamming his fist into the wall, making Loki step back.

"You, you are the bane of my existence! You are the reason I am here, you stole from me my throne! You and your stupid, foolish scheme and your fool of and older brother!" Baldur raged. "Why would I ever speak to you? Why would I want to? Why would I let you? The only reason I would ever want to see you again is so that I could kill you again!"

"I know that. But even if I have to talk_ at_ you, Baldur, I will talk." Loki said calmly.

"Have you told them?" Loki frowned at the question. "Have you told them that it was your plan to die? That everything went exactly as you intended it to? Do they know?"

"I suppose you're referring to what I gave Thor in case I died." Baldur laughed.

"No, I'm referring to the fact that you actually planned on dying." Baldur said. Loki raised an eyebrow. "If I remember that conversation correctly, you said that the only way to stop you was to get you killed, and to get all of Asgard to turn against you in the process. That was ages before we spoke in the range, well, six months, but still. You had this all very well planned out."

"I did not plan on dying, Baldur. You caught me unawares there, but I did not expect you to let me walk free, so I made plans should you find some way to…dispose of me." Baldur laughed, wandering around his cell.

"Dispose of you. You make it sound so formal, so innocent. I still think dying was part of your plan. You're crueler than I thought."

"And you are madder than I thought if you really believe that." Loki remarked. Baldur only hummed in reply.

"So was that your first plan, dying to arouse skepticism in your oaf of a brother?" Loki wanted to roll his eyes, but held back.

"That wasn't even a plan. I wanted to make you see how wrong you were, to open your eyes to the truth, Baldur." He said calmly.

"Still want me to repent, Loki? Turn from my evil ways? Still want your little bother back?" Loki narrowed his green eyes, looking sternly and sadly at Baldur.

"My brother is dead." Loki said simply. "You killed him." Baldur frowned at Loki's back as he turned and left. He had not expected that answer. Loki had been close to Baldur once, had pleaded with him so many times to turn from his ambitions. Baldur had come to expect that. He smiled to himself, slumping back down. Now he didn't have to deal with those stupid pleading green eyes any more. All the better for his plans.

* * *

Asgard's libraries, despite the fact that few people truly enjoyed reading or did much of it, were massive. Tales of great battles stacked most of the shelves, old legends and stories of ancestors long dead and committed to the sea. There were records of events, telling tales of history that long faded from the memories of those who saw it. These rooms were mostly occupied by scholars or teachers with classes. There were of course books of spells. They were not hidden away in some dank corner, it was a nice section of the library, well stocked and well taken care of. And occupied by women. Magic was a woman's art, and they took care of their section of these libraries well, making sure the books were intact and organized by practice, type, and skill level of magic. Of course, it only made sense to those that frequented the area.

Sif was rarely in the library, and her assumption that she knew it well enough was quickly proved wrong. She was wondering around a bit aimlessly, looking for books she figured Loki might read. She knew he had books in his room, but she though he might like some other ones while he was sequestered in there. She knew people were watching her, wondering why she was looking at books on magic and spells. She knew she had to keep Loki's life secret, so she avoided their gaze. She already had a pile of things to bring him, and was looking for one last book to bring.

"Taking up a new interest, lady Sif?" A voice said behind her. Sif turned around quickly, faced with one of the guards. His name was Torrig, and Sif knew for a fact that he was one of the guards who thought Baldur was wrongly accused. Her skin crawled as he stared down at her, and her mind raced for words to send him away.

"Yes. You see, I am not so strong as some other warriors, so to find another way to defend myself would be most advantageous in battle." Sif said, trying to remember Loki's old explanation for his pursuit of magic.

"Magic is a foolish thing, Sif. A strong warrior will focus on their skills, not frivolous sorcery." Sif narrowed her eyes.

"Well, my skills are enough to beat you, Torrig." Sif snapped, grabbing the books she gathered and stalking off. She first headed the way she would if she were to go home, making sure the guard did not follow her. Once the way was clear, she made the turn to go to Loki's room, all the while being very careful to avoid any attention. She grabbed the handle on Loki's door, slipped in quickly and shut the door in a flash.

"Hiding from someone?" Sif turned around, finding Loki looking at her strangely. She showed him the books in her arms with a smile.

"Baldur sympathetic guard caught me in the library, I just wanted to make sure nobody followed me." Loki hardly reacted, turning back to his desk, fiddling with the papers there. Concerned, Sif set her books down and stood by Loki's desk. "Is something wrong?" Loki sighed, leaning back in his chair, looking up at her with sad eyes.

"I was talking to Baldur." He began. Sif's eyes softened, knowing what was wrong. "I told him that my brother was dead, that he had killed him." Sif sighed. She understood Loki's action, she thought his actions were good and right. Baldur was no longer deserving of any affection or love that a brother of Loki was entitled to. Baldur had given up that title. But she also understood his pain. Loki had to turn his back on Baldur, and she could not imagine how painful that could be for him.

"That is true."

"I just have to wonder, is it right to give up on him."

"You are incapable of giving up on him, Loki." Sif replied. "It is not in your nature. However, Baldur as we all knew and loved him has not been with us for centuries, Loki. I do not think he will ever return. He has given up any right to call you his brother, and as hard as it may be, you have to let him go." Sif said, then sighed and turned to leave. "Please Loki, mourn your brother as you must, but do not let him destroy you. He is not worth your pain, not when he is the cause."

"Is he not?" Loki whispered, leaning back in the chair he sat in. Sif shook her head and slid out of the room, knowing Loki would rather be alone to mull over his troubles. He would seek out her advice and help if he needed it. Once alone, he dragged a hand over his face, mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. He could not sustain this heartbreak of living with Baldur hanging over his head. But the fact was, he had let his little brother down, and his family was beginning to fall apart at the seams because of him. He had ties to repair between himself and his family if he wanted it to continue past this struggle. He could begin with his mother, that would be the easiest to repair, and perhaps the most beneficial. His mother had always been his confidant, and he needed someone to dump all of his issues on. He couldn't burden Sif with that, she was dealing with mounds of problems herself, Thor couldn't take and couldn't know the full scope, and Loki was wary of telling his father.

It was his mother then. She was his first order of business.

* * *

A fire roared in an ornate fireplace, dark brown stone glowing in a gold-like shine as the orange light flicked across it, catching on the carvings swirling on it's surface and making them stand out on the rock. This fire was not lit for warmth, it's burning heat contained by a spell conjured by the one who sat beside it, spinning thread silently in her chair. The fireplace was the center of the room, two chairs sitting in front of it, and a couch in between them, all facing the great stone mantle. It was an enclosed room, little magic lights floating on the walls, though most of the light came from the ever-burning fire. Curtains hung, draping from the ceiling and the two pillars in the room, framing the fireplace in deep purple. This was the queen's sitting room.

Frigga's mind still denied it when she heard the soft knock on her door. Even after all the years since she'd last heard it, it remained familiar to her ears. Her heart willfully reminded her lagging mind that her youngest son was alive and well, and apparently directly outside of her door. The Queen of Asgard stood quickly, gliding over to the door, and hurrying her son inside before he could be spotted by prying, uninformed eyes.

"Loki, what are you doing? You could be seen." She chided him, making him pout a little.

"Mother, are you not pleased to see me?" He asked, making his mother's heart do cartwheels in her chest. It had been far too long since she had last heard such lighthearted words spoken by his silver tongue. "Mother?" Loki asked, again, bringing her back to reality.

"Oh, my son, of course I am pleased to see you." She assured, putting a hand on his cheek, smiling warmly. Loki smiled, making her heart flutter once more. Everything he did was like a blessing to her weary soul. Oh, how she'd missed him. Loki was so different from her other sons, he was quiet and calm and humble. He stood by his brothers despite all they did to him, especially Thor. He was a blessing, how could she have ever let him go? "What is it that you needed?" Loki looked to the floor quickly, then his green eyes flicked back up to meet her blue ones. Frigga knew the look well, something, or rather many things, were troubling her son. She motioned to the chairs by the fire in her room. "Come, sit, we will talk."

Loki was grateful for the chair, rubbing at its arms. It was a habit of his, when talking to his mother in this very room, in these very chairs, to pick at the ends of the armrests, so much so that his mother had them replaced a number of times. He noted with a twinge of regret and sorrow that they had been left untouched since the last time he had seen them. There were little notes of how his family had missed him wherever he seemed to look, and they hurt him, because he'd hurt them. He never wanted to pain them, that was the last thing he ever wanted, but he _had_, if unintentionally. Frigga sat down across from him, going back as she often did to her work, waiting for Loki to speak. For the longest time, he just stared at the fire, wondering how and where to begin. He tried to calm down the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind, to pinpoint one problem and begin from there. It wasn't really panning out.

"I shouldn't be here." He finally said. Frigga frowned. "Not as in this room, as I shouldn't be _here_. I shouldn't be alive." Frigga looked up from her work, taking a deep breath. This was not going to be an easy conversation for either of them.

"Loki." She began slowly, choosing every word very carefully. "You should not have been killed in the first place."

"So what, it all evens out?" Loki snapped. "I should have been dead as an infant, and yet here I am! I am only alive because of other people's actions, I should not exist! I do not belong here!"

"You do belong here, Loki." Frigga said, cutting Loki off. "You are my son, and you belong here, with your family. The fact that you have cheated death so many times speaks to the fact that you _should_ be here, no the other way around."

"Yes, well I didn't _cheat_ death last time." Loki mumbled.

"Loki, please, do not-"

"Do not what, mention the fact that I died? Because it happened. It happened to _me._ You all think it's so painful for you to think about, do you spare a thought for me? I'm the one who lost the life, the time, everything." Loki snapped. "You…you all seem eager to avoid the topic and I…I forgive all of you, even father, but now you all just want to forget it ever happened and I simply cannot do that." Loki sighed, putting his head in his hands. Frigga looked down at her hands, wondering how one was supposed to deal with this situation. This one thing no one had ever had to deal with.

"What do you want me to do?" She whispered. Loki drew his hands over his face with a sigh. "I cannot help you if I do not know how."

"I know." Loki's voice was quiet, barely above breath in volume. He turned worry filled green eyes towards his mother. "I don't know what to tell you." Frigga smiled, putting a hand on her son's cheek, before pulling him into her arms. Strangely, it was the first time she had embraced him since the first day he was returned. He had gotten a lot stronger since that day, she could feel it in the embrace. She pulled away, though reluctantly, still smiling at him.

"Perhaps we could all start by avoiding the issue less, and avoiding you less." Frigga suggested. Loki shrugged. "There is something else on your mind, isn't there." Loki looked down, wringing his hands slightly. It was a nervous tic that few people knew Loki had, but he never could seem to tame it. "Tell me Loki."

"I'm rather worried about our family." Frigga frowned at him, but made no motions to deny his words. Their family was struggling, between Loki's execution and Baldur's betrayal, and all that came from both, tensions were coming to a head. Thor wanted to be king, he saw his father making mistakes and thought he'd do much better. Odin was now second-guessing himself far too much for a king, and Frigga could not hold back the bitterness she held in her heart for Odin ordering Loki's death. Baldur had been disowned by the entire family, and despite her love for her youngest son, even Frigga could not deny there was nothing left of her child in the twisted remains.

"I suppose we all should be." Frigga whispered. Loki ran his hands through his hair, and Frigga knew in that moment why it troubled him so much. "Oh my child, this is not your fault."

"Isn't it?" Loki began, leveling his mother with an exhausted, strained look. "I, Norns I can't even tell you." He sagged down, arms hanging between his legs. "I promised him I'd never tell."

"You promised Baldur, I assume." Loki nodded. "Loki, you need not keep that promise any longer."

"Why not? Because he's a traitor? He was a traitor when I promised him! What good is my word if I break it?!" Loki exclaimed.

"Loki, please, whatever you are holding is troubling you. Please, tell me." Frigga asked, reaching out to her son. Loki shook his head. "Baldur is at fault for all of this, and yet here you are, you who tried to save us from him-"

"I was trying to save _him_!" Loki screamed suddenly. Frigga pulled back, taking the frantic face and wild green eyes. There was so much more to the story than any of them knew, all wrapped up in secrets in Loki's mind. "Don't you see? I wasn't just trying to save you from Baldur, I was trying to save Baldur from Baldur. If I only wanted to save you from Baldur, I would simply have… I promised, mother, don't you understand. I knew, for so long. But I promised to protect him." Loki felt tears streaking down his face, and his body, which had tensed up while he cried, went slack. "I failed. Miserably."

"I know, Loki, that we do not know the full circumstances of what happened between you, but I… how long did you know?" Frigga whispered, the full scope of what Loki had said slowly sinking in. He had not been Baldur's first victim on a whim; he had been standing in Baldur's way for a long time. "Tell me the truth, Loki. Tell me what happened." Loki took a deep breath, and shook his head.

"I can't. I can't tell you what you want to know. I knew of Baldur's intentions for decades, and I made sure that no one else learned of his plans. I was trying, desperately, to get him to stop. I thought he wanted to talk to me, in the archery range. He was just setting up a trap." Loki sighed.

"After all of this, you are still protecting him."

"I am being selfish." Loki replied. "I am making sure that this family never falls apart. If you knew all that I do, it surely would."

"You have so little faith in us?" Frigga asked. Loki shook his head.

"It is not a lack of faith, mother. It is knowledge of how deep the wounds go. Father second guesses and distrusts those around him. And Thor questions him already. If given more reason to do so, he will tear this family apart."

"What do you mean?" Frigga asked. How could Thor tear their family apart, why would he ever do that, how could Loki think he would?

"Thor wants father's throne now more than ever, and he thinks that he is more worthy of it than father is. He thinks he would make a better king than father, _right now_. Thor is not thinking, and I fear that he will drive a wedge between himself and father, and force us to choose a side." Frigga looked into the fire, where Loki had already lost himself. As it often was with her younger son, Loki had seen things that Frigga had denied. Frigga often worried that Loki's willingness to see and face the darkness around him blinded him to the light, and that he would get dragged down by seeing the depravation of everything. He already seemed so grave so often. She had always worried for him, even more now because of all that had happened.

"We will weather this." Frigga said, putting a hand on Loki's shoulder. "Together." Loki smiled, holding her hand. He could have faith in that promise, he knew he could. He bit his lip.

"I can't get this out of anyone yet, so perhaps I'll ask you." He mumbled, making his mother raise a curious eyebrow. "What has happened while I was away?"

"Nothing much." Frigga replied, turning back to her work. It was true, life had pretty much just gone on as usual in Asgard, as painful as that might seem. "The past four centuries on Midgard were probably more interesting."

"Well _of course_ they were. Something is always happening there, it's always mass chaos with the mortals. It's almost funny."

"Loki." Frigga chided. "They are not so different from us, you know."

"Other than the five thousand year life span and the general intelligence level, no, they are not so different." Loki joked, leaning back in his seat. Frigga smiled and shook her head.

"You will have to shake that pride of yours. You sound like Thor."

"It's not pride if it's true. Mortals are very petty little creatures. I suppose they have every right to be, given their short lives. I'm not saying their inferior, just, well, they're, mortals. They think we're gods, how intelligent can they be?" Frigga laughed at his last words, putting her work aside.

"Not _all_ of the mortals think we're gods. Only the ones who know of us." She countered. Loki nodded patronizingly.

"Yes, and the rest of them think they are the lone beings in the universe. I'm not certain which is better." Frigga sighed, shaking her head. "Still, something must have happened here. I admit, not much has changed, but I'm not allowed out of my room, so how much could I possibly know."

"Loki, honestly, nothing has happened, besides the events with Baldur of course." Loki looked skeptical, but shrugged it off, falling into a content silence. Frigga picked up her work again and let him sit and rest.

* * *

**_I would like to give a huge thank you out to the people who have been so kind in their reviews of this story, it truly makes my day when I get them. Thank you also to all the people who have Favorited and Followed, it means a lot to me. _**


	7. Ch 6: Tell The People What You've Done

_**Chapter 3: Tell the People What You've Done**_

_June 22, 2011 AD_

This was not going to be a good day, he already knew. Standing in his room fussing with his clothes, he knew it was not going to be a good day for him.

Loki's mind was doing backflips trying to figure a way to get out of this. This was basically going to be a second formal trial of Baldur, and he was going to be there. This would be this first time Asgard had seen him. Odin had told him that rumors had been spreading around, mostly because of the servants in the palace, that he was alive, but as of yet they were just rumors. He knew he was stronger, healthier than he had been weeks ago, but he still couldn't stand up for very long or walk long distances, and running and sparring were out of the question, along with the majority of his magic. He felt stronger, but he was still weaker than he had ever been.

"Loki, are you ready?" Thor asked calmly. Loki sighed, leaning forward before rocking back on his feet.

"Ready, no. But I can't get out of this mess." Thor chuckled slightly at his brother's remark, putting an arm around the still frail shoulders.

"You will be fine." Thor assured.

"Oh, I know you think so, but I cannot help but worry about not being able to stand that long." Loki mumbled.

"I'll stand next to you." Thor replied, making Loki laugh quickly. "This has to be done."

"I know. Believe me, I know." Loki sighed, wringing his hands. "I suppose part of it is not wanting to face Baldur again, and not wanting to see the rest of Asgard again."

"I don't really want to see him either." Thor mused quietly. "Still don't understand, you were so close when he was young, and you seemed much the same up until the end." Thor whispered, looking to Loki for an answer.

"It was a lie, a ruse. Baldur had his plans and I was trying to stop him, and to help him see the error in his thinking. It backfired on me." Thor frowned.

"And this," he asked, motioning between his brother and himself, "nothing here is lies?" The hurt look in Loki's eyes was the only answer Thor needed.

"No, Thor. Never, I love you Thor, with all that I am. As much as I cared for Baldur, he was always annoying me." Loki paused, glancing away then back to Thor, locking eyes with him. "Thor, the way that I care for you is something that no one, not even Baldur, can come close to understanding. Do you understand that?"

"You have always been by my side, Loki. I was a fool, I took you for granted. I will never do that again." Thor replied, choosing his words carefully. Loki smiled, it was good to know that his brother no longer assumed Loki would always be there, that Loki's efforts for Thor had been noted by their recipient. "Come on, brother. You have a life to live." Thor smiled, pulling Loki along with him to the throne room. The younger prince pulled himself from Thor's grasp, walking along him without being dragged. Thor smiled, this was the way things should be, the two Odinsons, walking side by side. This was right. There was a hole where Baldur once was, but the relationship between the two older brothers and their younger sibling was odd. Thor and Loki had grown up together, they were practically attached to each other. While they had tried to make their youngest feel welcome, Baldur had never had the same relationship Thor and Loki did. Thor wondered if that had contributed to Baldur's fall from grace, but he could not let it haunt him.

When the pair came into the throne room, Loki paused. It was full of people, and Baldur was standing defiantly in front of their father's throne. Slowly, and with a little nudging from Thor, Loki walked into the room, taking up his usual spot next to Thor, who stood at Thor father's right side. The room fell dead silent when they saw him, and Loki could feel every single eye. It made him want to squirm, but he hid his discomfort, and put on a calm face. Baldur was perhaps the most disturbing, and the first to say a word.

"Well, I suppose I wasn't seeing things then. You really are alive, you disgusting little traitor." The former prince snarled venomously.

"Baldur." Odin's voice was low and almost harsh. But then the whole chamber erupted in happiness, protest, or yells of contentment. It was mass chaos, which Baldur seemed to revel in.

"Well, I suppose we should have expected this." Loki whispered to Thor, making his brothers face split into a smile. Odin, on the other hand, found no humor in the situation. The All-Father stood, and slammed Gungnir onto the ground with enough force to silence the entire room. Loki's already frayed nerves startled at the clang, and he had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself.

"Oh, you've ruined the fun." Baldur pouted. "I was enjoying all the hate sent his way."

"Baldur, you a directly responsible for Loki's condition, it would be wise for you to tread carefully when you speak of him." Odin warned.

"I am directly responsible?" Baldur questioned, putting his hand to his chest as if he were shocked, the other chained one dragged up with it. "I never meant for him to be killed, that was just a bonus. I just wanted him imprisoned. You are the one who ordered his execution, Odin All-Father." Baldur was done trying to get sympathies. Loki was alive; his plans were all done for. He'd been out maneuvered.

"So you admit then, to plans for usurping the throne." Odin stated.

"Yes, fine. I admit I wanted to kill all of you and save Asgard from your stupidity. Is that really so bad?" Baldur asked, laughter and sarcasm dripping from his voice. He was unafraid, no one but Loki knew how to kill him, and Loki had promised never to tell. Loki never broke a promise. "Loki, well you might see him as your savior. He stopped my plans for all of you, he denied me!" Baldur roared suddenly. "But he'll never tell, he promised never to tell anyone. Always trying to protect everyone. Foolish you, Loki, foolish you." Loki kept his face as impassive as he could, but it was hard. "Some day, you will spread yourself too thin, and you will pay." Baldur's voice was low and ominous, sending warning bells going off in his mind. Odin was finished with Baldur, but Baldur was not finished with Loki. "Tell the people what you've done, you little snake! Tell them what you've done! Tell them how long you put the lives of their beloved king and queen in danger because you could not watch me burn! Tell the people what you've done!" Loki closed his eyes, feeling every single eye in Asgard turn to him. "I absolve you of your wretched promise to protect me, but can you do it, can you condemn me? Can you? Or do you still cling to that false sense of loyalty your silence grants you? You can't be loyal to both of us, idiot! You have to pick a side!" Baldur roared.

"For nearly two decades I protected you Baldur." Loki spoke, his voice low and steady. He opened his eyes slowly. "I protected you, and I placed myself in your sights, no one else."

"Ever the noble little prince you were." Baldur growled. "Every time we spoke, you hid us from Heimdal's sight so that he could never know. Come on, Loki. TELL THEM!" Baldur screamed at the top of his lungs.

"What in the nine do you want me to say?" Loki asked calmly. "I've told them how long I knew, I've humored you. What do you want Baldur?"

"I want to see the looks on their faces when the find out just how pathetic you are, just how foolish you are. You wouldn't take power if it jumped up and bit you in the face! You're a coward Loki, you always were." Baldur snarled. Loki closed his eyes and shook his head sadly. It was a familiar motion to Baldur, an infuriating one. He'd always known Loki was two or three steps ahead of him, and that was the look and the sad shake of the head Loki gave him when Baldur was being foolish in Loki's eyes. Being blind, as he was fond of saying.

"Take him back to his cell." Odin ordered. As he was being guided away, Baldur looked back.

"This isn't over. Oh no, it has only just begun."

Loki squirmed a little at the words. When would this be over, if not now? His family could not fall apart, he needed it now more than ever. Baldur was threatening to rip all Loki had ever known and loved away, and he would not let that happen. Not without a fight. Odin continued to speak, detailing how Loki was here, and how he was reinstated as the second prince of Asgard. All of Asgard was to treat him as they had before; he was their prince, that had not changed. There was going to be huge feast that night, to celebrate his return to Asgard. Loki already felt tired.

* * *

Thor followed his brother to his room, and laughed at what he saw there. Loki had collapsed, face first, on his bed, leaving his legs hanging half off the side while the rest of him was splayed out on the gold silk sheets. Thor heard muffled words coming from the bed, but he could not make them out.

"What was that Loki? I think you have something on your face." Thor smiled, standing next to his brother. Loki shifted so that he faced Thor, weary green eyes looking up at the towering thunderer.

"I'm tired." He repeated. Thor raised an eyebrow, looking at Loki's position.

"Too tired to get into your bed, it seems." Thor commented. Loki just turned his face back into the bed with a moan, making Thor laugh again.

"It's not funny!" Loki growled, though it came out muffled by the bed he was talking into, which just made Thor laugh even harder. Loki sighed, and flipped himself over so he now stared at the ceiling. Soon he was laughing too, though not so enthusiastically as Thor was. "I really am tired, Thor." Loki sighed, turning to look at his brother.

"I know you are, but still, it is funny." Thor replied, eyes still dancing with mirth. Loki shrugged.

"I suppose it is a little funny." He conceded. He let out another long sigh. "I don't think I'll be able to stay awake through a feast."

"Well that would be shameful, falling asleep at your own feast." Thor joked, making Loki laugh, image dancing through both their minds. "What would mother say?"

"She'd tell me to get more rest. I have had enough rest for a life time and not enough for today." Loki sighed.

"What was Baldur yelling about?" Thor asked, but Loki just shook his head.

"Your guess is as good as mine. I think perhaps being beaten has gotten to him a little. But I really don't know." Thor frowned.

"You have to know Loki. Tell us what?" Loki gave his brother a withering look, and shook his head again. "Fine, be cryptic." Thor grumbled. Loki knew Thor would not let the topic drop, so he chose to distract his brother with something he knew would do the job quite well.

"Tell me Thor, when do you get to be king?" Thor sighed, thinking for a moment.

"Soon I hope. Father is getting old, so, you know." Loki frowned.

"I'm afraid I don't know."

"All this stress with you and Baldur is taking its toll on him, I fear for his mind at times." Loki sat up then.

"You think father is going senile?" Loki questioned. Thor shrugged. "He seemed fine to me, and I think I would have noticed a change. The only difference I see is that he wants decidedly less to do with me."

"He's guilty, that is all." Thor commented. "But he's old, and getting to be frail."

"I wouldn't call him frail." Loki countered. Thor frowned, shifting his seat to get a better look at Loki's face.

"Do you not want me to be king, Loki?"

"No, I do, honestly. You will make a great king, Thor. I am certain." Loki trailed off, not finishing his words.

"But..." Thor asked at length.

"But, perhaps you should not be so eager to get it from father. There is a lot going on right now, it might be better to for father to remain on the throne until this all calms down." Thor shrugged. Loki was usually right about these sorts of things, but Thor didn't want to defer too much to his younger brother's judgment.

"Perhaps he will tell us soon. Perhaps at your feast."

"Wouldn't that make it your feast, Thor?" Loki countered. Thor just smiled, clapping a hand onto Loki shoulder, making him lurch forward.

"You said you were tired." Thor said.

"Indeed I did." Loki said, falling backwards onto his bed and laying there, half on and half off. Thor laughed, rumbling like quiet thunder as he shook his head and went out of the room. Loki eventually pulled himself all the way onto his bed and fell asleep.

* * *

"You're a mess." Loki's eyes snapped open at Sif's voice "Did you really fall asleep in all that armor? That cannot be comfortable." She wasn't much better than he was sure he looked. Her hair had found it's way out of it's ponytail, draping in wispy bits around her face, which was coated in dirt and there was a graze just above her eyes that might be swelling a little. Her armor was dented in one part, and covered in dust just like the rest of her body.

"You don't look so good yourself." He replied, sitting up and trying to smooth his hair down a little. "Suffice to say neither of us are ready for this evening."

"Well, I'm a happy mess. You look like you've been run over by a bilgesnipe." Sif said, closing the door with a sigh. "Do you have any idea how nice it is to not have to sneak to your room anytime I want to see you?"

"I'm sure it improved your stealth skills, Lady Sif." Loki replied, getting up off his bed and going to the washroom. Sif raised an eyebrow.

"Lady Sif? You haven't called me Lady Sif since we met." Loki shrugged, coming out of his washroom wearing different clothes and carrying a wet towel, which he handed to Sif. "Not even as a joke. What's gotten into you?"

"Secrets." Loki mumbled. "I suppose they're only my secrets now, but Baldur wants everyone to know." Sif took off her bracers, wiping the dirt off her arms.

"I wish he wouldn't call you a traitor. Hasn't that ruse served its purpose?" Sif asked, looking over to Loki who had taken up his seat on his bed once more. "Loki?" Loki looked up with a slight hum, making Sif glower at him. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." _Everything._ Loki replied far to quickly. Sif had known Loki long enough to be able to catch some of his less well put together lies. "What happened to your head?"

"Don't change the subject." Sif snapped. Loki drew back a little, looking down to the marble floors under his black boots.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Even with me?" Loki shook his head. "What about your mother then?" Loki shook his head again. "Well you have to tell someone, it's eating you alive, whatever it is."

"It is the truth, Sif, that I cannot tell." Sif frowned at Loki's reply.

"Loki, if you don't tell the truth, you are going to get so wrapped up in lies, you won't know the difference, and then you will be in trouble." She countered. Loki knew she was right, even if his whole life was a rather large lie, most of the rest of it was truth. He couldn't keep lying or hiding, it was consuming him, and quickly. He _had_ to let this go, and he couldn't tell his family, they were fractured enough as it was. If he couldn't tell Sif, then who?

"Can you promise me never to tell another soul?" Loki asked. Sif frowned, but nodded slowly. Loki pursed his lips, looking down. "When Baldur calls me a traitor, he is not lying. It is the truth."

"Loki, even if you turned on him, he turned on you first." Sif tried to say, but Loki stopped her.

"Seventeen years before he, well you know, Baldur came to talk to me in my room. I was working on something at the time, but I stopped because he seemed very troubled about something. He started off talking about how Thor didn't seem ready to be king, and he asked me if I ever thought I would make a better king, or if he would. I made a huge mistake, Sif. I told him that, at that moment, he would have made a better king than Thor." Sif closed her eyes sadly. "He smiled, and said it was good I agreed with him. I didn't understand. He told me what he wanted to do, everything. It was never just Asgard, Baldur had eyes for all the realms. He told me had didn't want to do it alone, and if I helped him, he'd give me a realm of my choosing. Needless to say, I was appalled. I tried to talk him out of it, but he got so angry, he wouldn't listen. He told me to pick a side, his or Thor's as he put it. I told him I couldn't help him. I promised him I'd never tell anyone and that I would never give up the hope that he could see the error in his plans, but I couldn't help him." Loki paused, letting out a long sigh. "I betrayed him. If I hadn't made that stupid remark that he'd be better than Thor, or if I had chosen my words a little bit better… Oh Norns, it's all my fault." Loki sagged downwards. Sif stood stock-still, unsure of what to do. She knew why Loki wouldn't tell anyone that, he was not only ashamed of what he'd done, but in his eyes, in that small moment he'd set off the chain reaction that landed them here. And Sif knew that he would not be alone in seeing things that way, and Loki knew that too. It was truly a secret he could never tell.

"Loki…" Sif trialed off. There was nothing she could ever say, that much she knew. So instead she just sat next to him, a gentle arm around his shoulders, trying to let him know that he wasn't alone. "You're not a traitor, and this isn't all your fault. If you keep thinking that, it's going to drive you mad."

Loki couldn't believe that it was at least in some way his fault, he'd made a foolish mistake, and a massive miscalculation. And it was driving him mad.

"I promise never to tell a single soul, even to my death, your secret will never cross my lips." Sif promised quietly. Loki let out a small sigh of relief. He had at least one person he could tell his worst secret to without fearing ripping this family to shreds.

"Thank you." He whispered. He wondered if Sif knew how grateful he was to have her, and just how many times her subtle "I see you"s had saved him from falling into jealous traps. He hoped she did. Slowly, he gathered himself, running his hands over his face with a deep sigh.

"Well, I have to go get dressed for tonight and so do you." Sif announced, standing up and going to the door. "Thank you for telling me." She said with a smile, and slipped out of the room.

* * *

Loki had missed his spot next to Thor at this table, having eaten in his room for the last month or so. He didn't miss the masses of people and the incredible volume they created. He didn't miss Thor's stories of his exploits, he tales of how he would wipe out the frost giants when he was king. He didn't miss the insults accidentally and unknowingly thrown around about a race he was born into but bred to hate. He really didn't miss these feasts.

But it was the first feast thrown for him in a very long time, so he figured he should at least try to enjoy it. It was funny, he and Thor were so different. Thor had always wanted and relished the huge name day celebrations, but Loki had actually asked his parents not to do some massive thing, that he could just have the day with his family and close friends. So, most of the time, Loki's name day amounted to a small affair, with only Thor, his parents, the warriors three and Sif present. As such, feasts thrown for Loki were rare. They were always for Thor, and usually only Sif or maybe Thor (if he wasn't drunk) noticed when Loki left early.

"Loki, I have to ask a favor from you." Sif said suddenly. Loki looked up from his thoughts at the black haired warrior who sat across from him. He raised an eyebrow, telling her to go on. "I told our friends about the time you and I were traveling in the land of the Dwarves, trying to get through into one of their cities. We were supposed to be undercover, if you recall, because Odin suspected some underhanded dealings. You claimed I was your sister, and then said I was adopted and I slapped you. Our friends refuse to believe my story without your confirmation." Sif told him calmly. Loki found the other warriors three and Thor as well looking at him. He coughed slightly, sitting back.

"Well you did slap me, very hard if I recall. You said the look on my face was priceless." Loki replied.

"She really smacked you?" Fandral asked.

"She did. I couldn't get upset about it then because of the circumstance, and there was little point to doing so later. I had a bruise though, had to cover it up for quite a few days." Sif smiled, looking very pleased with herself.

"There, see. I was telling the truth." She said proudly.

"Yes, the great warrior Sif, the only person to slap a prince and survive." Fandral joked. Sif scowled as the rest of the company laughed.

Loki watched carefully as one of the servants replaced his hardly emptied drink with a brand new one of the exact same substance. He watched her carefully as she walked off. He didn't know her, she hadn't even been in the chamber that he saw before. He discretely flagged down one off the servants, calling them over.

"Can you take this, it has a foul taste to it." He asked. The servant bowed quickly, taking the mug away.

"What was that about, you didn't drink any of it." Volstagg complained. "Waste of good mead."

"Call it paranoia, but there was no reason to replace the mug I had, and I hadn't seen the servant before." Loki replied. "I'd really rather not be poisoned." Loki saw the people around him squirm a little, and sighed. "I'm sure it's nothing, I'm being foolish, but I'd rather be foolish and live and be reckless and die. Now, stop staring and keep talking." He snapped, turning back to his food. The only one to take Loki's meaning was Sif, who quickly diverted the topic from Loki's slight paranoia to some more glorious war stories. Loki looked up when another mug found itself in front of his face.

"That was the same girl as before." Hogun said, drawing Loki's attention to the gruff warrior beside him.

"I suppose I won't be getting any more mead tonight." Loki mumbled, taking some more food from the platters in front of him.

"She is watching you." Hogun whispered.

"Not an experienced killer then." Loki replied, frowning at his own answer. "Norns, I sound like I'm scared of my own shadow."

"I have not seen her before, she could simply be worried." Hogun replied. Loki replied by pushing the mug over to the warrior. Hogun raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"I'm not going to drink it." Loki mumbled. Hogun looked at the mug and then pushed it back to Loki's place. "My point exactly." Loki smiled.

"You'll have to drink it for toasts." Loki made a face. He hated toasts, usually avoiding engagement in the mid feast entertainments by leaving before they came.

"I'll think of something." He replied shortly. Hogun seemed satisfied with the answer and left Loki alone. Loki, on the other had, was busing himself trying to fugue out of his concern was justified, and if it was, how he was going to pull off the toasts. He knew they were coming, and had managed to squirm his way out of saying anything by telling his father that he was exhausted (he was) and therefore didn't want to have to yell at everyone. Odin seemed understanding enough. Just as he was mulling all this over, a voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Is there something wrong with the mead, you highness?" A small voice asked. "Because if there is, you really should tell someone." Loki looked up to see the nervous face of the servant girl looking at him, biting her lip and light blue eyes pleading that he understood her meaning. Loki frowned; looking her over, then stood slowly, calmly, and lead her out into a small antechamber near the top of the room.

"What is wrong?" The girl looked frozen in fright, terrified to speak. Loki could figure why, she was talking to the long dead prince of Asgard, a prince she had might be trying to poison. "What is you name?" He asked quietly.

"Anise." She whispered. "Everyone calls me Anni."

"Anni, I promise that if you tell me what is wrong, no harm will come to you." He said, keeping his voice very gentle, trying to calm the poor girl down. He was also watching her carefully in case this was a ruse.

"There was a woman, an old woman. She knew I was new at the castle, she made me I swear!" Anni cried, trying to back away. Loki just grabbed her shoulders, gently, and shushed her.

"Slowly, tell me what you know."

"She said that it wasn't fair. Not fair that you got to come back and her son didn't. She said the dead should stay dead. She gave me poison; it wouldn't kill you until you slept. Made me do it, she has my mother. She's going to... Going to..." The girl broke down, weeping. At first, Loki wasn't sure what to do, but then he wrapped his still weak arms around her shaking frame, hushing her cries. Once she got a hold of herself, Loki let her go. "You didn't drink it did you?"

"No, I didn't." The girl let out a sigh of relief. "Now, who is your mother, and who told you to kill me?"

"Some old woman, I don't know. I have until tomorrow morning to..." She paused, uncomfortable with the words and the task. Loki hoped he wasn't being fooled, but he was certain he was not. "She's here, she said she would be watching, so that I did it. I can't find her though."

"I'll tell my father." The girls eyes widened in fear. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. You just saved my life after all." Loki smiled comfortingly. "Where does your mother live?"

"In the city, near the palace." Anni mumbled, before giving Loki exact directions. Loki called some of the guards over, told them to go there and make sure all was well, and then slipped back into the room with the girl, making a beeline for his father.

"Loki, where did you go?"

"The hallway. There was some old woman enlisting servants to kill me." Odin frowned, but stared ahead like Loki's whispered words didn't affect him. "I believe I've handled the problem, but I'll stop by Eir before the night if out." Odin nodded curtly and Loki went back to his seat.

"What was that about?" Thor asked his brother as Loki pushed the now surely poisoned mead even further away from him.

"Poisoned mead, death threats. Ah, life in the public eye." Loki joked, trying to lighten the mood a little. Thor just looked at his own mead rather suspiciously. "I think it was just me, dear brother." Thor grunted and put his mug down. "All is well, I promise."

"You aren't hurt?" Thor asked, looking his brother up and down for any sign of undue weakness.

"I'm fine, never better." Loki replied, smiling broadly. Thor seemed satisfied, and went back to his food. Things went smoothly right up until toasts. Luckily for his health, Loki had managed to get some wine that he was certain wasn't poisoned, and used that for toasts. It was more the content of the things that caused the mayhem.

Thor's coronation date was announced.

Mass. Chaos.

"I think it's now officially your feast, Thor." Loki smirked, looking at his brother who was clearly over the moon. Thor didn't seem to care that the celebrations had changed subject, and Loki was all to glad to fade into the background again. Pretty much everyone in the hall came to the crown prince at some point, giving him their congratulations. More than a few of them engaged in some pandering. It made Loki sick, but Thor reveled in it all, which only made Loki worry for Asgard more. He wondered why their father chose to have it now, or rather a week away, of all times. But, despite Loki's arguments against Thor's want for the throne earlier, he knew that Odin was growing old and perhaps he wanted to pass on the mantle of leadership while he could still help to guide Thor. Whatever Odin's logic was, it was not Loki's place to question him. He just hoped Thor had a good enough head on his shoulders not to put these drunken idiots all around them in charge of anything. Of course, at the moment Thor was a drunken idiot along with them, so nothing could be judged right now. By this point, almost everyone around Loki was dead drunk on mead, besides Sif for some odd reason. Loki found himself getting tired, and left the table quietly. Sif slipped away, following him to the healing rooms.

"What are you going here for?" She asked, quickening her stride to come side by side with her friend.

"Someone tried to poison me, I am only making sure they did not succeed." Loki replied dryly. Sif nodded, still walking beside him. Eir smiled when the pair came into her rooms.

"Loki, it is good to see you." She smiled warmly. Even she had not known of Loki's presence until that morning, and she was glad to have one of her favorite patients back under her care. "Is there something you need?"

"Someone was trying to poison me at dinner, I just wanted to make sure they didn't get what they wanted." Eir faltered slightly at his words, but motioned for him to sit down.

"Not just coming for a social visit, I see." She whispered, smiling again. Loki gave her a small smile for her trouble, but he felt strangely dizzy. "I wonder that the king and queen did not trust me with knowledge of your return, I could have helped speed up your recovery."

"You still can." Loki replied. "My recovery is far from over." Loki said, looking up at the soul cast above him. It wasn't so bright as he recalled it being.

"Indeed. Your spirit is still quite weak, as well as your body." Eir commented. "You should be careful, you are not so strong as you might feel." She looked over the cast, and smiled. "But I am glad to say you are poison free." The soul cast shut down, and Loki swung his legs over the side, standing up.

"Thank you Eir." Loki bowed swiftly, and then left the room, Sif still trailing behind. He turned around, walking backwards with a broad smile on his face.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked, laughter dancing in her tone.

"And that, is how you survive a feast." Loki smiled, and Sif couldn't help the laugh that ran through her. Things had finally returned to some normalcy in Asgard, and it was beautiful.

* * *

**_Sif and Loki are friends. Best friends perhaps, but just friends for this story. Just making that clear in case there were any questions or sneaking suspicions. Thanks again to all the people who have so kindly reviewed, Followed and Favorited, and everyone who has stuck with me this far. We're about halfway through the story at this point, I hope you have enjoyed it.  
_**


	8. Ch 7: A Bit of Advice, My Son

_**Chapter 4: A Bit of Advice, my Son**_

* * *

_June 23, 2011 AD_

The halls of Asgard rang once more with a long lost rhythm, the sound of footsteps so long missing from these floors. The steps of the Prince Loki, lighter and quicker than those of his heavier brothers, gliding swiftly over the stone floors almost like he was hovering above them. His steps were a little different than years long past, slower prior days, the lingering effects of such a time spent in Hela's realm, but each day found them stronger than the last.

Loki was glad of his new found, or re-found, freedom, finally able to go around his home again. He had missed it, and he was spending more time out of his room than he had in ages, either in the library, speaking to his mother in her sitting room, with Thor and his friends, or in the gardens with a book. He just had to keep figuring ways of squirming out of going sparring with Thor and his friends, he still didn't feel up to it, and Eir would probably chide him. The chief healer had been watching him and visiting him nearly every day to make sure that he was all right, that his soul was strengthening itself and his body was keeping up. Loki knew he was weak, his magic had always been a good indicator of his strength, and it was all but inaccessible to him, limiting his abilities to only pulling things in and out of limbo, and preforming a few parlor tricks, maybe a guise or two.

Loki pushed the door in front of him open slowly, slipping into a room he knew well. The king's library, off limits to all but the royal family. Thor and Loki used to come into this room as children, their father telling them stories of wars gone by, of their grandfather's war with the dark elves, or sometimes Thor would push hard enough that he would tell of the war with the frost giants. Those times were always followed by Odin talking with Loki, making sure that his second, adopted son knew he was loved, that he was no monster. Loki had secretly loved those days, because it let him speak to his father without Thor yelling about war and glory every two seconds. As time went on, Thor had spent less time in there, but Loki never seemed to leave, even though he had read every book in the small library at least twice.

"Loki, it is good to see you." Odin's voice was wearier than Loki recalled, it had been since he first heard it. He lied to Thor when he said he saw no difference in their father, he could see the burden on Odin's shoulders, plain as day. His father was old, nearing the end of an effective rule. It made sense that he planned to crown Thor, his time as king was nearly up.

Loki smiled at his father slightly, pulling a book off the self and sitting down in front of the fire, flipping through the book he placed on the ground. He felt like a child again, sitting before his father's fire and reading some ancient tome while Odin watched him carefully. That was why he had come to the room, he wanted to feel young for a little while, think back to a time when life was simpler.

Odin watched his son sit, cross-legged on the hearth of his fire, reading one of the many old books in his library. His mind took him back to what had been one of the most frightening moments of his life, one of the moments that sent bolts of fear through him, and made his heart hurt every time it came to mind.

* * *

**_Memory: 911 AD_**

_Loki was young still, but he'd learned of who he was. They had told him, once he was old enough to understand what it meant, and why he couldn't tell. Odin watched absentmindedly as his older son ran out of the room, swinging his wooden sword around, declaring he was going to slay frost giants._

_"Father?" Loki's voice was small, shaky. Odin looked to his son, finding worry and pain in the sweet green eyes he so loved. What could be wrong? "Do you hate me father?" Odin's one eye widened suddenly. Where had Loki gotten that idea? He'd just been telling the boys a story about…oh. It was a story about the war with the frost giants, with Loki's birth father._

_How could he have been so foolish?_

_"No, Loki. You are my son, I love you my child." Odin said, trying to push every drop of love and affection he could into his voice._

_"But, my father-"_

_"Laufey is not your father, Loki. He gave up the right to call you his child when he left you. Loki, my son, I do not hate you. I was foolish to tell that story with you…" Odin trailed off._

_"It's nothing. Thor is always telling his friends and me about how he'll kill all the frost giants when he grows up. I think he would kill me if he knew." Loki scratched his hair, trying to pass off the words that had struck such fear into his heart as if they were nothing, but he couldn't hide his pain from his father. Odin shifted out of his large chair, sitting next to his younger son, draping a strong around the thin shoulders._

_"Loki, my son, look at me." Loki rubbed one of his eyes, looking up into his father's clear blue eye. "Never doubt that I love you." He whispered, voice holding none of the kingly boom the people of Asgard knew well, instead it was soft and comforting. Loki leaned into his father's chest, crying softly._

_"They would all hate me…" He sobbed. "Everyone, even more than they already do."_

_"Then they are fools, Loki. Every one of them, to hate such a treasure as you." Odin tucked the boy's head under his chin, holding him close, wishing so much that he could take away the horrors his youngest son faced so early in life. Part of him thought in the back of his mind that he should not have told the boy, but he pushed the thoughts away. It was better for Loki to know, and to know that he could always come to his mother and father with every trouble and care or fear he had. "Thor I was stuck with, Loki. You I chose. You are a treasure, an amazing young mage and incredible scholar and you are brilliant, my boy. You do know that don't you?" Loki nodded into his father's chest. "Thor loves you, Loki. He's just young and reckless."_

_"I know." Loki whispered, sniffling slightly. Odin lifted his son's head so their eyes locked together, emerald green meeting sky blue._

_"Never, ever doubt that I love you."_

* * *

_June 23, 2011 AD_

"Never doubt." Loki's voice cut into Odin's retrospect, making the All-Father look up and over to his son, who was still reading. "You told me that so many times. Never doubt. Forgive me, but I have been doubting lately." Loki turned, his green eyes locking onto his father, filled with confusion and hurt and betrayal, just like the day Odin had sentenced his son to death. Odin did not want to have this conversation, and got out of his chair. "So that is it then? You are done with me, have I caused you enough trouble and now you want to cast me away? Are my doubts of your care well founded, All-Father?" Odin paused at the door, then opened it and walked away. Loki let out a sigh, flipping his book closed with a flash of anger, throwing his body backwards onto the marble floor. His anger turned to sadness almost instantly, and the second prince of Asgard wept on the floor of his father's library once more, but this time he was utterly alone.

* * *

Odin's heart broke a little more with each step away from the small library, all he could see in his mind was the little child he had sworn so many times to protect and so many times he had failed. Odin had turned his back on his beloved son, he could barely comprehend that he had done such a horrible thing to the child he so treasured. How could he have ever thought it right to destroy that wonder of a child, what sort of father was he? How blind was he that he did not see the honesty in Loki's eyes, the plea of his father to listen, and _please father you have to believe me!_ Odin shut his eyes as Loki's plea rang in his mind once more. How had he thought that precious child had given himself over to Jotun savagery? When had he started to believe the lies and rumors about his own son who he knew so well, believe that Loki, who had confided in Odin fears and secrets that only a father would know, was a liar and a fiend? When had the wise Odin All-Father turned into an old fool?

He did not know when and he did not know how, but he knew that his actions were beyond forgiveness, and he dare not ask such a thing of his son. He loved Loki, he always would and he had been blind, and he had mourned. Oh how he had mourned. But it was no matter now, the ties were cut, never to be repaired. He would not fill himself with false hope, his family was broken apart, and it was his fault. It was Odin's fault.

* * *

_June 25, 2011 AD_

It was two days later when Loki and his father saw each other again. Loki was desperate, he wanted his father back, he wanted the man who he had loved with all his heart, mind and soul back. But somehow, his father was lost to him, aloof and stone faced in the presence of his second son and Loki was lost as to why. He didn't understand, what had he done? Did his father hate him for destroying the family, did he know that Loki had caused the fracture, was he upset that Loki had never told him of Baldur's treachery before it was too late, was it something else? Did he still want Loki dead?

All these thoughts were swimming in Loki's mind as he waited to speak to his father. Usually, Odin would put a pause to things so that he could speak to his sons should they wish to, but not now. It was just a little matter, and Loki really had to speak to his father, but he'd gotten a stern look once already so he was holding back and holding his tongue. Couldn't they talk just a little faster?

"Loki, you wished to talk to me?" Odin asked, making Loki look up at the people still surrounding his father. The council. Wonderful.

"I was hoping to speak with you alone, father." Loki said carefully, looking to the council. At least the palace had gotten somewhat used to his presence, and no longer looked like they'd seen a ghost every time they passed him in the hall.

"Anything you wish to address with me the council can know of as well." Odin replied coldly, and Loki felt like cursing. But he held back, setting his jaw.

"Not really." Loki tried to get his father to understand, but it only resulted in Odin dismissing the council while sending Loki a slightly annoyed look. Well it was better than nothing. "Thank you father." Loki said, still standing at the bottom of the steps. Usually he would have gone up to the top of the steps and stood directly in front of his father's throne, but not today, not with his father treating him like some kind of disease.

"What is it that you want?" _In other word, spit it out before I loose my patience._ Loki thought bitterly. _Oh wonderful, now it's going both ways._

"I wanted to talk about Thor." Loki said, not really wanting to grate on his father's mood with any silver coated words. Odin narrowed his eye, scrutinizing Loki.

"What about Thor?"

"I don't think…he's not ready to be king father." Odin did not seem pleased with Loki's words.

"And you think you would do better than he?" Loki raised his hands quickly, taking a step back.

"No! No, you misunderstand me, I do not want the throne. Believe me, when the time comes, it is all Thor's, just as it always has been. You were always rather clear on that fact father, trust me. I am merely pointing out the fact that Thor is still arrogant, reckless, and frankly, foolish." Loki said, making sure that his father did not think he had any desire to take the throne from his brother, because he really didn't.

"The time has come for Thor to be king, Loki. Regardless of what you think of his readiness, Thor will be crowned at weeks end. I suggest that if you find his skills lacking, you should try to hone them before some disaster comes about due to them." Loki flinched a bit at his father's harsh and final tone, and he understood that there was no more to be discussed.

"Yes, All-Father. I am sorry for wasting your time." Loki bowed carefully and left the room, head swimming once more. He found the question he had in his youth, after he learned from his parents who he was, returning once more. _Do you hate me, father?_

* * *

_June 28, 2011 AD_

"Thor is getting coronated tomorrow." Sif said, looking over at Loki. The younger prince hardly replied, beyond a monosyllabic grunt there was no answer. "You're not worried, or jealous, or anything?" Loki looked up from his work, sighing. Sif could never know the real reasons behind his lack of desire for the throne, no one but his mother and father knew. They were in his confidence, or he was on theirs, on the matter, and the rest of Asgard would never know.

"No, Sif. I am not at all jealous of Thor's ascending the throne. It is a troublesome job I am fully willing to let him have." Loki replied.

"And you're not worried?" Sif repeated. "Because I recall you always being very worried about Thor becoming king."

"That was three hundred years ago, Sif. I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has changed a bit since then. The mere fact that I am here because he begged for my life proves that." Loki countered.

"Thor will always do anything for you, you know that." Sif replied curtly. Loki frowned. "Oh don't deny it. You're his whole world, he loves you more than life itself." Loki laughed, shaking his head, Sif laughing with him.

"Thor is a wonderful idiot, and I love him." Loki smiled, sitting back in his chair. "But Sif, his is going to be king, and he's going to be king by midday tomorrow. Whether I think he can be king or not is immaterial. It's whether our father thinks he is ready that matters."

"You really believe that?"

"Are you asking me this because you do not think he is ready and you want me to agree you so you can vindicate yourself?" Loki asked, regarding Sif with a scrutinizing look. Sif, for her part, looked aghast at the accusation.

"I have known Thor was going to be a good king since I met him!" She exclaimed, getting a nod from Loki.

"So have I, but do you think he is ready?" Sif paused, thinking for a moment. She leaned backwards on Loki's desk, looking out at the golden walls of the younger prince's room.

"No." She looked down to Loki. "He's not." Loki smiled and nodded.

"Then you and I agree. But, we cannot change the events of tomorrow, so we must try to continue to help Thor to be the best king that he can." Loki told her. "And, on a better note, it is good to know that there is someone else in Asgard with a good head on her shoulders." Sif smiled broadly at Loki's complement, pushing herself off the desk.

"I don't think anyone could ask for a better brother than you, Loki." Loki rolled his eyes and went back to his book. "Don't roll your eyes. It's true. You have already sacrificed everything for Thor once, and even when you do not think he is ready to become king, you tell him that he will do well. You stand by him all the time, Thor couldn't ask for more." Loki sighed, turning to face her once more.

"Does cleaning up after him constantly, keeping him from trouble, telling he's doing well when he is not, supporting him in all he does even when it is foolish count as being a good brother?" He asked, words coming out harsher than he meant for them too.

"No, it doesn't. But that's not what you've done. Yes, you clean up his messes, and you try to keep him from trouble, but you aren't blind to his faults. You are always trying to help him grow to a better man, Loki. Don't think I have not seen it, that your friends have not seen it, for we have. We respect you for it, you are our level head, you tell us when we are going too far, becoming too reckless. You keep us honest, point out our failings when others will not. While Thor has always sought to be the best warrior, you have ever tried to be a good man, and you _are _a good man, you must know that." Sif smiled gently down at her friend. "We are lost without you Loki, you are our guide."

"I doubt you are lost without me, Sif." Loki replied, then turned his green eyes back to her, soft smile gracing his face. "But I thank you."

"Thor is lost without you." Loki chuckled and shook his head, rubbing his eyes.

"Did you come in here with some other purpose then to inform my of the well known fact that Thor will be coronated tomorrow?" He asked.

"I have something to show you." Loki raised an eyebrow, but both went up when a familiar flash of gold flitted around her hand, leaving behind a small knife. He smiled broadly.

"You actually learned a little magic." He smiled, taking the dagger from her gently, turning the blade around in his fingers.

"You say that as if you are shocked."

"Well I rather am. I didn't expect you to bother." Loki countered. Sif pouted a little, crossing her arms.

"It's not so good as yours, but I think it's a fine little trick." Sif smiled, plucking her knife from his hand and whisking it back into limbo. "And quite useful. Now I'm always armed."

"Indeed you are. You're quite good at that, a quick learner." Sif raised an eyebrow. "Well, faster than most. I think I might have to keep you very far away from my spell books, it won't help my reputation if you start using magic." Sif laughed and pushed the younger prince on the shoulder.

"You don't have to worry, I will leave your arts to you." Sif smirked, sliding closer to the door. "Don't stay cooped up in here all day, Thor may go mad if he can't talk to you." Loki chuckled to himself as Sif closed his door. The younger prince sighed and leaned back in his chair. His conversation with his father a few days past had done very little to calm his nerves about the up coming ceremony and the new king, it seemed he could not do anything to soothe them. He was backed into a corner with no way out, and he had to do what he could to control the fallout. Why did it seem he was always put in this position?

* * *

**_You are now at the official halfway mark! Congrats, you made it, and so have I! _**


	9. Ch 8: Damage Control

_**Chapter 8: Damage Control**_

* * *

_June 29, 2011 AD_

Banners swayed lazily in the air, no breeze moving them, but simply the currents of indoors wafting through the massive halls in Asgard. Subtlety was not this realm's strong suit. Everything was done and overdone, everything at least slightly overstated. The golden realm was not named such for no reason, gold seemed to coat every thing in the palace, even the city. Under the great red banners hanging from the ceiling, among the massive gold pillars there was a lone figure standing, contemplating yet another golden item. This thin figure was clothed in grand armor, so clearly only made and used for the purpose of ceremony, over ornamented and unfit for use in a fight. The yellow of the metal shined like sunlight, contrasting with the deep emerald of his cape that shimmered like a sea of green behind him, the firelight making it seem almost alive as it flickered across the silk. There was a light rhythmic pinging in the air, the sound of a fingernail slipping off the end of a golden horned helm over and over as it's owner mulled over the wisdom of wearing or not wearing it.

As this lonely figure stood, another entered the camber, much larger and louder than their predecessor. This figure was clad in deep blues, silver and a rich scarlet cape flowing behind him like a river of blood in the sunlight. This was the Mighty Prince Thor, who raised the goblet he had in his hand, and threw it into a caldron of fire with a cry. "Another!" The other figure, the younger brother of this goblet smashing prince, turned to the newcomer with a wry look.

"That was a waste of a perfectly good goblet, Thor." Loki mumbled.

"Oh calm down, it's not as though we're short on goblets for our wine." Thor chided, fumbling with something on his armor.

"We will be if you keep smashing them every time you finish your drink, especially at the rate at which you consume alcohol." Loki replied, though there was a playful lilt to his tone.

"Come now brother, what has you in a foul mood?" Thor asked, still fiddling with the bit on his armor.

"Nothing, I'm not in a foul mood." Loki spotted the servant coming with Thor's requested wine, but shooed him off. Thor did not need any more to drink before he went out to the single most important moment of his life. He looked over at Thor, who was still rubbing the same spot on his armor. "Thor, you're going to rub a hole in it, what are you pestering at?" Thor pursed his lips as Loki came to stand in front of him. He expected a chiding look in the younger prince's eyes, but found nothing but quiet calm. "Is the great thunderer nervous?"

"You know very well I'm nervous, stop asking." Thor snapped, but Loki didn't mind, shrugging.

"Well, spots on your armor are not to be worried over, it looks perfect." Loki smirked and Thor scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You'll do fine, you've been reciting this day since we were seven, I don't think you are capable of making a mistake by this point."

"Seven years brother? Surely it was before that."

"No, because you only learned to read once you were seven, and even then you made me find and read the oath for you." Loki replied, making Thor laugh and shake his head.

"Perhaps I should have paid more attention during those lessons."

"Well, that's what you had me for." Loki countered. "Every night before a test you'd come into my room and ask me for the answers to what the questions might be. You never would have it made it out of those classes if not for me." Loki said, laughter lacing his voice.

"Aye, that is probably true." Thor mumbled. "And I'm not nervous."

"Just excited."

"Exactly." Thor said, looking down at where Loki had put his helmet. "Are you going to put that on?" He motioned to the golden helm sitting, or rather laying sideways, on the floor. Loki grimaced looking at it, drawing in a long breath.

"I was hoping to avoid it." Thor laughed, a booming sound that shook the room. Loki swore it could be heard off realm. "Well, yours isn't too much better."

"Mine cannot be used as a weapon!" Thor laughed. "To be attacked with your own armor, that would be disgraceful."

"That is why I never wear it unless I am forced to do so." Loki grumbled, picking up the helmet and putting it on carefully. "I feel ludicrous."

"Well, you look fine. Very big and frightening." Thor said, taking his own feathered helm from the servant who brought it.

"Yes, well at least a bird didn't attach itself to mine."

"On the contrary brother, I seem to recall Hugin and Munin using your horns as perches at least once before." Loki grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _I hate those stupid birds_, which only served to get another laugh from Thor. The elder brother sighed, looking out to the doors that would lead him into the great hall.

"Thor." Loki said, voice much lower, full of seriousness that demanded Thor's attention. "Thor, you and I have been looking forward to this day our whole lives. I want you to know that I will always support you, that I know for a fact that you will be a great king." Loki locked eyes with his brother, making sure the words were heard. "Never doubt that I love you." Thor smiled, and put his hand behind Loki's neck, an old gesture of affection the younger had always felt comforted by.

"You know, there was a time I thought I would have to face this day without you. I do not think I could have done that." Loki smirked and shook his head.

"You and I both know that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to." Thor grinned at his brother, letting his hand fall away. "I have to go." Loki shook his head once to the side, and Thor shooed him out. He lingered a little at the doorway, then swept out, taking off his helm once more.

* * *

Loki found himself standing on the steps of his father's throne, between his mother and Sif, his mother above him and Sif below, and, however unfortunately, wearing his helmet. At any rate, he just stood as he should, watching Thor come down the hall as the masses screamed their praises at him, Thor soaking it all up like a thirsty plant. Loki was proud of Thor, he really was, he just couldn't help some trepidation at all this. But he hid it well, not letting a soul in the hall see the truth of it behind his eyes. Asgard could never know if one brother doubted the other, they had plenty of turmoil in the royal family already, enough to last the gossips of every realm for the next few millennia. Thor kneeled before their father, taking his helm off, sending a small wink in Loki's direction. Loki's only reaction was to look to the ground for a moment, before casting Thor a reassuring smile.

"Do you swear to guard the nine realms?" Odin's voice cut through the air like a booming knife. He smirked as he thought back to the many times Thor had sit his younger brother down in a chair and told him to play Odin and recite the oath. It was always ironic to Loki, in hindsight.

"I swear." Thor answered, voice deep and confident, just as it always was.

"And do you swear to preserve the peace?"

"I swear." _You say that now, but somehow I really don't believe you. _Loki mused, and tried to shove the thoughts to the back of his mind. This was not the time to doubt Thor, those times had passed.

"Do you swear to cast aside your selfish ambition and to pledge yourself only to the good of the realms?"

"I swear!" Thor raised his hammer above his head, yelling out his last swear. _Can't resist some theatrics._ Loki thought.

"And on this day, I Odin, All-Father, will proclaim you..." Odin paused mid sentence, single blue eye going out of focus. Well this was very much not good. Thor's smile dissolved into a face of confusion. "Frost Giants." Odin's whisper was only just loud enough for those around him to hear.

Well damn. Thor was not going to be happy.

* * *

"Thor it's over and done, there is nothing you can do, just wait it out." Loki was trying took keep up with his brothers blistering pace through the halls of the palace, but it was a bit hard on him, he'd already been up and around all day and he was getting tired. Damn his body. Thor had already raged at their father in the weapons vault, trying to get Odin to attack Jotunhiem, only to find himself chastised and torn down from his high horse. Now Loki was stuck dealing with the potentially explosive and volatile aftermath. _Damage control once again. Why am I always the one cleaning up everyone's messes? Who made me Asgard's political janitor? _Loki mused silently as he awaited Thor's reply.

"Shut up Loki." Thor snapped at his brother, but even though he kept silent, Loki still kept step with Thor. He understood Thor's anger, he was a bit angry himself, and more than a little confused. How in the nine had those frost giants gotten into Asgard without the use of the Bifrost and without Heimdal seeing them? Loki knew how to do it, but he'd kept that knowledge very well hidden, only in his journals had he written his knowledge of the spells down and his father had destroyed those. _Who and how?_

Thor was in the room where there would have been a feast, pacing back and forth like a mad dog, before he stopped short, glaring at the table like it were some sort of abomination. Then he walked up to it and flipped it over.

_Wonderful display of control Thor. _Loki mused, shaking his head. Sif and the warriors three came into the room then, stopping at the doorway to stare at the mess.

"Thor...that is a waste of good food." Volstagg grumbled, earning a glare from both princes, though for different reasons. The portly warrior mumbled a few more things under his breath, beginning to rummage through the food on the floor for something edible.

"That is disgusting." Fandral muttered, looking at his friend, then turning to Thor. "Thor, I'm sure everything will be sorted out very soon."

"I am in no mood for speaking." Thor growled, voice like that of an angry dragon snarling at an intruder. Loki sat down next to his brother, ignoring the former command to shut up.

"Thor, I know you're angry, but you cannot do anything without defying father." Loki sighed, voice low and quiet contrasting greatly with Thor's boiling anger. But then something washed over Thor's face, an idea, undoubtedly a foolish one. Loki's heart dropped. "No! No, no, no, no, no, I know that face. Whatever you're thinking it's a terrible idea, no." Loki stood up with his brother, trying to stop what he knew was going to happen.

"It is the only way to ensure the safety of our borders!" Thor shot back.

"Safety of our borders? Thor, this was an isolated incident, you do not know that it was an attack made by the king. Thor this is treason, you heard what father said, we have a treaty!" Loki raged back. "It's madness!"

"What's madness?" Volstagg asked, looking up from his ground level meal.

"We are going to Jotunhiem."

"No we are not! Thor sit down and for once in your life think before you act!" Loki shot back harshly, anger and irritation getting the better of him.

"I'm afraid I have to side with Loki on this, Thor. This isn't Midgard where you can throw some lightening around and the mortals think you're a god. It's too dangerous." Fandral jutted in, making Loki mouth the word "afraid" indignantly at him from behind Thor.

"Aye Thor, Loki is right." Sif said, giving Loki a quick nod.

"My friends, too dangerous? Who has lead you to glory more times than you can count?" Loki rolled his eyes as his brother made the rounds of their friends, convincing them to join him. _Damage control once again. _Loki was beginning to wonder if that was just going to be his life from now on. He wasn't going to leave them to get themselves killed while they were on Jotunhiem, but he didn't want them to go at all. He silently slipped out of the hall while Thor was riling his friends, tapping a guard on the shoulder.

"Can you tell my father that Thor is planning something foolish and he should stop us before something bad happens?" He asked quietly, getting a nod form the guard before slipping back into the room. Thor clapped his hand on Loki's back almost as soon as he arrived.

"Are you going to join us brother?" Thor asked eagerly.

"Do I really have a choice?" Loki mumbled, but Thor took it as a yes, which it was in a way, though it was mostly a protest.

* * *

"Let me handle it." Loki out his arm in front of Thor to hold his brother back. He had one more chance to pull this off and it relied on him "botching" getting past Heimdal.

"You are not dressed warmly enough." _Well that wasn't too difficult. _Loki played it off as though he was surprised, but Thor quickly pushed Loki aside, and missed the scowl Loki sent him as he passed by.

"We seek passage to Jotunhiem to find answers from the frost giants." Heimdal nodded, staring into, or perhaps through, Thor.

"Never has an enemy slipped my watch until this day. I wish to know how it was done." Heimdal's gaze shifted to Loki, who put on his best innocent look, not that he had anything to hide from the gatekeeper. Loki was a little hurt that Heimdal looked to him, accusing thoughts in those unfathomable gold eyes. Heimdal had been a friend, Loki trusted him, was that all lost and gone now?

"Then tell no one where we have gone until we've returned. Understand?" Thor smiled broadly as Heimdal turned to the observatory.

"What's the matter, silver tongue turn to lead." Loki narrowed his eyes as Volstagg passed him. Damn Heimdal, damn him. Damn it all.

"Be warned. I will honor my sworn oath to protect this realm as its gatekeeper. If you return threatens the safety of Asgard, the Bifrost will remain closed to you. And you'll be left to die in the cold waste of Jotunhiem." Heimdal warned, placing his sword in the Bifrost pedestal.

"Can you not leave it open?" Fandral asked as they came in front of the gateway of the Bifrost.

"That would unleash the full power of the Bifrost, and rip Jotunhiem apart." Loki answered. It was curt and a bit harsh, which made Fandral pout a little.

"I have no plans to die today." Thor told the gatekeeper.

"None do." The deep voice was the last thing the six heard as they lurched forward into space.

* * *

Loki had been to the land of his birth perhaps once before, not counting the day of his birth. He held no fondness for it, but he was more than happy that he was so tolerant of the cold; it was one of the few good things about being a frost giant. His friends were all shivering to varying degrees, even in their heavy coats, but Loki couldn't care less about the climate. He was still upset about being there, and having to face Laufey. It would be the first time seeing his birth father, which was nothing he was looking forward to. He wondered just how much smaller he really was.

The trek to the palace was longer than they would have liked, but dropping the group off in the center of the capital of Jotunhiem would be frowned upon. Loki tried to hide his growing exhaustion, the tiredness sinking it's claws into his very being. The cold, surprisingly, was helping to hold him up, but it could only do so much. He was hoping and praying now that it did not come to a fight, he didn't think he would be capable of fighting. He should not have come, but what was he supposed to do? He could not run to father and betray Thor, even if he had done so through the servant, and he could not ignore what was going on. As always, he was trapped between loyalties. So, he just kept his head down and followed, quite literally, in Thor's footsteps.

They were well and truly surrounded when they arrived in the palace, crumbling and useless as it all seemed. It was hardly a building, there weren't even any doors or real walls or anything of the sort. There was, however, a throne. And it was massive as was the Jotun atop it. _So that is my father. Huh_. Loki thought, then quickly shook himself out of it. _Don't think like that you fool. You'll drive yourself mad._

"Why have you come here, little prince?" Laufey asked in what could only be described as a bellow. Thor seemed unfazed by it, but the rest of them were looking warily around as the frost giants seemed to close in.

"I want to know why frost giants were in Asgard's treasure vaults, and how they got to be there." Thor bellowed back.

"They were invited." Laufey smiled wickedly. Thor's face twisted up in anger and confusion.

"I demand to know what they were doing there!" Thor roared, and Loki came up behind him, trying to hold him back. The frost giants were closing in, ice forming to weapons. Behind the brothers, Sif and the warriors three tightened their grips on the weapons, bodies tense like stings on a bow, ready to spring to action. Loki put a hand on Thor's shoulder, trying to pull him away.

"Thor, look around you. We are outnumbered, surrounded, there is no chance of us even getting out of here alive if you start a fight. _Think, _Thor." Thor scowled and tried to throw Loki off.

"Know your place, brother." Loki tightened his jaw, shoving down the anger that reared it's ugly head at the comment.

"I _do_ know my place. It's right here, telling you what a fool you're being." He hissed, but Thor ignored him.

"What were your frost giants doing in Asgard! I demand to know!" Loki closed his eyes, grinding his teeth and trying to refrain from dragging Thor back to the Bifrost against his will.

"You do not know what your actions will unleash, I do. Leave now, while it still allow it." Laufey snarled. Loki put his hand on Thor shoulder, already starting to pull him backwards as he addressed his unknowing father.

"We thank you for your generous offer." He smiled up at Laufey. "Come on Thor, let's go." Thor growled, clearly raring for a fight, but turned to go.

"Run back home little princess." One of the frost giants grumbled. Thor smiled and slid Mjolnir down in his hand.

"Damn." Loki muttered. Now they had to fight, not that anyone but him was upset about that. Loki slinked to the outskirts of the fighting; throwing knives at the Jotuns that began to swamp them. They were all so huge and he was not yet fit to fight, he was exhausted merely by the trek here, and now he had to avoid getting violently killed. Why had he come when he knew this was going to happen? _Because I can't let Thor put himself in danger without being there to make sure he comes home. _And now without his magic he was running out of knives. _Dammit._

"Don't let them touch you!" Volstagg yelled over the melee, his arm blacked by the frozen touch of the frost giant warriors.

Loki rushed at one of the massive soldiers, but a simple punch dagger didn't seem as effective as he hoped, and the giant latched onto his arm, armor falling away frozen and cold leaving nothing but his bare arm. Which promptly turned blue.

_Damn damn damn damn._

_Dammit. I am using that word far too much today._

He tried to pull away, but the Jotun's grip was too strong, and Loki was trapped. Loki was not too surprised at what was happening to his arm, he was more alarmed than anything. His attacker was a different story, shocked by what he saw there. But Loki was near panic.

_What if someone saw! What if Thor saw! _

Loki cut off the Jotun's surprise with a knife to the chest, tearing his arm away. For a moment he just stared it, begging the blue to go away. It seemed to refuse him and Loki felt like spitting and yelling at his own arm. He glanced around quickly, shoving down the panic in his mind and making sure no one saw the sickly blue of his true nature. He feared it, he feared it being known, he'd long gotten over any hatred of it, but he still didn't want a soul to ever know. Luckily, his arm shifted back to it's normal color soon enough, and in the melee no one saw. Loki shook his hand lightly and covering it with a guise of frostbite so it looked like Volstagg's. It was a dangerous drain on him, using what little magic he had to create and maintain that illusion, but he needed to. Broken armor on his arm with no repercussions on his skin would look suspicious even to dumb Æsir eyes.

That was about the moment he heard Fandral yell. Loki snapped his head around, sending a knife into the offending frost giant and rushing to help Hogun grab their friend, who was stuck through the shoulder with ice. "Thor! We must go!" He screamed over the wind.

"Then go!" Thor didn't seem ready to leave yet, but Loki didn't care, they had to get out of here.

"Run, go! I'll take care of Thor!"

"Loki, you are the last one of us who should be fighting, you look terrible and your arm is black as the night sky! Leave the frost giants to Thor, we have to leave." Sif grabbed Loki's other arm and all but dragged the younger prince along with them. Volstagg and Hogun held Fandral up as they began to make a run for it. Loki was careful not to touch anyone with his left arm, lest the guise vanish. He was also beginning to wonder just how long he could hold his little illusion up, and what exactly he was running on.

_Adrenaline probably._

There was a roar behind them, and Loki's stomach dropped to his feet. He knew that sound, that creature, from his books. A sort of ice beast kept by the kings of Jotunhiem to hunt down runaways, traitors, and apparently wayward Asgardians. _Oh joy._

"Run, run!" He yelled, not bothering to look back as he grabbed Sif's hand and ran for it, glancing behind to make sure the warriors three were all right. _Dammit Thor!_ Loki hissed in his thoughts. Then the ground began to fall away. _Wonderful job Thor. Surely we won't fall to an untimely demise as the very ground falls beneath our feet._ Loki heard the screech of the beast as it dropped, but knew enough to keep running. They just had to get to the Bifrost site, preferably before the rest of Jotunhiem caught up to them.

They skidded to a stop at the Bifrost site, Fandral's ragged breath lost in the winds of the storm. Loki was about to scream at Heimdal when Volstagg grabbed his arm.

"Wait for Thor!" He yelled, making Loki jerk back. And then his heart dropped again. The roar from before sounded out once again.

The beast crawled up the cliff beside them, snarling at them like some frozen dragon, making all four of them draw back from the cliff side, but there was little place to run, with the Jotuns behind them and this beast before them.

"We're going to die." Sif whispered, looking at Loki as if to ask _what does that feel like _but the younger prince simply stared forward, horrified.

But, as was usual, Thor came blazing in to save them all at the last moment, in dramatic fashion. This time, blasting right through the creature's roaring mouth and the back of its skull. Lovely. The triumphant, if messy, thunderer stood on the edge of the cliff, smirking at his friends.

"Thor, we have no time from your theatrics!" Loki yelled, earning a look from Thor. But it didn't last long, they were soon surrounded on all sides. "And now we're trapped." That was the moment it dawned on Thor, and a look of dread seemed to wash over him. He'd just killed them all, hadn't he? This was it? Well, he wasn't just going to let them all kill his friends, he'd slaughter every one of these monsters before he let them kill his friends.

Before he let them so much as touch Loki.

The blazing light of the Bifrost was a Godsend for them, Odin arriving on Sleipnir in flashes of the rainbow bridge and Loki felt a rush of relief. This was going to end all right… they would live. Thank the Norns.

"Father! Let's finish them! Together!" Loki dropped his head. Thor was so incredibly thick sometimes. Odin looked just as disappointed at Loki, at least that they agreed on.

"Silence!" Odin shouted at his elder son, making him shrink back a little. There was a rather massive argument and perhaps a storm brewing.

"All-father, you look weary." Laufey's voice was low and menacing, and both sons of Odin bristled at his words.

"Laufey, end this now."

"Your boy sought this out." Laufey snarled back.

"You're right. These are the actions of a boy. Treat them as such. You and I can end this, here and now. Before there's further bloodshed." Odin was trying, but there was no way this was ever going to work. Thor had come looking for war, and he was probably going to get it.

"We are beyond diplomacy now. He'll get what he came for, war and death."

"So be it." Odin replied. Laufey tried to drop Odin from Sleipnir, but the Bifrost salvaged the situation, pulling everyone back from the frost wastes of Jotunhiem.

* * *

"Take him to the healing rooms." Odin directed the Warriors Three and Sif away and pulled Gungnir from the Bifrost, there was a screaming match in order.

"Why did you bring us back?" Thor yelled at his father. Loki slid to the side and debated sitting down because the adrenaline was wearing off and he was about ready to collapse.

"Do you realize what you've done? What you've started?" Odin roared back, no longer containing his anger with his eldest son.

"I was protecting my home!"

"You cannot even protect your friends! How can you hope to protect a kingdom?" Odin yelled back, and then shook his head. Loki could see this all going very poorly very quickly, but he was having trouble thinking clearly and things were spinning. Why were they spinning? _Just keep standing, don't fall._

"There won't be a kingdom to protect if we are afraid to act! The Jotuns must learn to fear me! Just as they once feared you." Thor shot back. _Oh so foolish Thor, wishing for them all to fear you._

"That's pride and vanity talking, not leadership. You've forgotten everything I taught you! About a warrior's patience?" Odin asked, voice full of scorn and disappointment.

"While you wait and be patient, the nine realms laugh at us! The old ways are done! You'd stand giving speeches while Asgard falls!"

"Thor…" Loki tried to begin, but it was quiet and sluggish and left unnoticed.

"You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!" Odin shouted.

"And you are an old man and a fool!" Thor snapped back.

"Thor…" Loki tried again, this time louder. Still it went unnoticed. Odin's look of disappointment deepened, and there was even some shame on his face.

"Yes, I was a fool. To think you were ready." _Oh no, no, no, no_…Loki knew where this was going, no, this couldn't happen, not now.

"Father..." Loki said, finally loud enough to get attention.

"Nay!" Odin boomed back. Loki dropped back a little, apparently his opinion was still not wanted. He couldn't stop this, everything was going to hell and he couldn't stop it, once again, his family was falling apart at the seams and he couldn't stop it. "Thor Odinson, you have betrayed the express command of your King. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war!" He stepped forward, glaring at Thor with his one blue eye and reached for the crown prince of Asgard. "You are unworthy of these realms! You are unworthy of your title!" Odin tore the medals from Thor's armor as Thor stared, confused and almost betrayed as Odin took his cape from his back.

"You're unworthy!" Odin paused, glancing over at Loki, who looked almost as stricken as Thor, and then back to his elder son. "Of the loved ones you have betrayed." He finished, voice softer, regretful. Loki frowned, was Odin referring to him? "I now take from you, your power!" He said taking Thor's hammer. "In the name of my father!" He swept the armor off of one Thor's arms, "And his father before!" And then the other. "I, Odin All-Father, cast you out!" With that, Thor flew from the Bifrost observatory. Loki stared at the portal, distantly hearing his father whisper something about Mjolnir, the power of Thor and being worthy. The hammer flew after Thor through the Bifrost, to Norns knew what realm.

Loki stared out at the Bifrost for ages, stunned and exhausted to silence, uncomprehending of his elder brothers banishment. He swayed a little, the adrenaline of the fight wearing off and exhaustion setting in.

"Loki." His fathers voice sent him out of his reverie, turning a little too quickly for his exhausted body and he fell to the ground, unaware of the fall until he found himself staring at the ceiling. Odin rushed to his younger sons side, lifting up his shoulders so Loki was sitting rather than lying on the floor. "Are you all right, my son?" Loki blinked for a moment, eyes darting sluggishly up and down until focusing in on his father.

"I haven't fought since I returned, I did not recall how exhausting it is." Loki sighed, laying on his back again.

"I should have listened to you, Loki." Odin sighed, but his younger son shrugged.

"Well, you didn't, and now we must deal with the fallout. It is no matter what you should have done." Loki let out a heaving sigh, and pushed himself off the ground, standing warily before walking out of the Bifrost to gather his horse and go to his room. He needed to sleep.

* * *

"I cannot believe Thor is banished." Sif whispered, looking as shocked as her words lead to believe. Loki came into the balcony slowly, tugging at the sleeve of the tunic he had over his now wrapped up arm, a simple thing to make it look like he had been hurt in the battle, only the white bandaged hand showed through. It was night now; he'd rested for a few hours, but found himself unable to truly sleep. "Are you all right Loki?" Sif asked. "You disappeared after we got back."

"Fine, just a little tired. I… haven't fought in a while." Loki said, sliding into one of the chairs in their little balcony. He was still exhausted, but didn't want to leave his friends alone to brood and begin to fear, speculating on things they didn't know.

"I still can't believe he's gone." Fandral sighed.

"You talk as if my brother is dead. He's fine, just on Midgard and lacking his power. He'll be back soon enough." Loki said, trying to keep his voice calm, but he had a little shake in his voice, probably because he was tired. Still, he missed Thor already. He loved his elder brother, and missed his huge, and occasionally annoying presence that always lingered by his side. He did understand why his father had banished Thor, and was willing to stand by the choice, perhaps it would teach Thor something.

"You agree with your father's sentence?" Volstagg asked, his voice low and almost accusatory. Loki narrowed his eyes slightly at the enormous warrior.

"What I know is that Thor took us into Jotunhiem, nearly got us killed, and may have begun a war because he could not withstand a small insult. He committed a direct act of treason by leaving in the first place, and has endangered many lives in all the nine realms with his foolish actions. So yes, I stand by my father's judgment in this case. Would I prefer Thor were not banished, of course. Will I try and convince my father otherwise, no."

"You're just being petty." Volstagg mumbled.

"He's being petty? Volstagg, what he said was true. Thor was going to leave until one of the guards taunted him. None of this would have happened if Thor could learn some patience and humility." Sif jumped to her friend's defense. "If there is anyone who was being petty it was Thor. I agree with Loki, perhaps his time on Midgard will teach him something."

"You should hope so, that's the only way he's ever getting Mjolnir back." Loki mumbled, then covered his mouth as he yawned.

"What do you mean?" Fandral asked. Loki rubbed his eye, he was going to have to sleep soon, he had no energy left.

"Father put a spell on Mjolnir so that one must be worthy to wield it, and something tells me that as of yet, Thor isn't worthy." Loki finished the sentence with another small yawn and shook his head. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think I might need some rest." Sif waved him goodbye before looking back to her friends.

"I don't understand how he can care so little, he's always been so attached to Thor." Fandral said after Loki had left.

"He's just trying to make sure the rest of us are calm, him being all panicky doesn't help the situation and he knows that." Sif replied. "Trust me, he's just as upset about all this as the rest of us."

"I just wish he didn't hide it so well. Doesn't he trust us?" Volstagg asked, earning a look from both Fandral and Sif. "Well I suppose we haven't really done much to inspire him to trust us, at least in his recent memory. What about you, Sif, does he trust you?"

"Believe it or not, he trusts all of us. We were his friends, and as far as he is concerned we still are, past mistakes are forgiven. Remember, it's Loki, you can't expect him to be like Thor, he has more control than that." Sif replied, trying to reassure her friends.

"We must consider that Loki may become king." Hogun spoke, the first time he had done so since the return from Jotunhiem. The warriors sat in silence for a moment.

"I had not thought of that. Do you think he has?" Volstagg asked. Fandral laughed.

"This is Loki we're talking about. The man thinks of everything." He joked, but shook his head. "I for one would be firmly behind Loki should he need to take the throne. He would make a fine king."

"On that matter I think we are in agreement. However, the rest of Asgard is more in question. Many of the people dislike Loki, some openly despise him." Sif said, leaning her head on one hand.

"Well, the people respect us, if we stood by him perhaps they would as well. Besides, Loki's quite good at talking, he could get into Asgard's good graces if he wanted to." Fandral offered. "Though I do think everyone's intention is still for Thor to be king, even Loki's."

"Loki has never wanted the throne." Hogun agreed, getting nods from the others.

"Aye, he only ever wants to be Thor's equal, and he surely know that he is that." Sif said, leaning back in her chair. "Now, let us stop discussing the younger Odinson, it makes me feel like a gossiping lady's maid."

* * *

_June 30, 2011 AD_

Few places in Asgard were not bathed in gold. This place was one of them. It was mostly black, the air carrying a chill to it, frosty breath in and out, perhaps left over from the Jotun attack the day before. There was not longer any ice on the black stone floor, and the carnage from the battle had gone away. Families of the fallen guards consoled, as best as they could. Castle guard, it was _supposed _to be a safe enough job, supposed to be an honorable, but safe job. No one ever got killed as a palace guard, not in times of peace. Loki had gone their families himself. Usually, his father or Thor would have gone, but Odin was busy and Thor was banished, so that left Loki. One of the two families, the father had slammed the door in his face. It was his wife who had come to Loki to take the helm and sword from him, explaining to him that her husband…somehow thought this was Loki's fault. That hurt. The other family had been more accepting, letting him in and giving him a little common courtesy. He got to speak them a little, the guard's wife and met his daughter, a little girl with curly red hair and big, baby blue eyes.

Loki was unsure why his feet lead him here, to the treasure vaults, they just had. His green eyes roved over the dark world around him, and he let out a long sigh. The treasure vaults were an odd place, for Asgard. It was almost like a museum really, little pedestals hovering in between massive pillars, old and powerful relics resting atop them, invisible spells guarding them. The guard on the vault was doubled, but they had to stay outside, no one but the royal family was allowed in here of their own desire, the guards would have to be called in to come in. So, Loki was alone here, in the cold, in the dark, and unsure why he had come. He'd had his rest, not sleep but rest, though he felt well enough to wander around the palace, and for some reason it felt wrong to sit in his room any longer. Perhaps that was because he was always waiting for Thor to barge in and drag him off to some random adventure, and now Thor was gone. It had been one day since Thor was banished and Loki wanted his brother back, now-ish. It…he just wanted Thor back. Loki went down the steps, glancing at the many relics and treasures in the vaults. There had been a time, when he was younger, that he had felt as though he was another stolen relic of his fathers, brought only for a purpose, hidden away until Odin had need of him, but he'd realized the foolishness of that idea. Odin loved him, had helped him through what very well could have been the single worst childhood one could endure to grow up to be who he was. He was no stolen relic, he was Odin's son.

Standing at the end of the hall on its own little pedestal in front of the Destroyer's cage, was the Casket of Ancient Winters. Loki rounded the pedestal, leaning over the cold box and just staring at it. He dare not touch it, he knew that if he touched the casket it would change him entirely, and he really didn't want to do that.

"Loki...what are you doing?" Odin's voice drew Loki's gaze quickly upward to see his father standing on the steps.

"Looking at the Casket." Loki replied, tone as cold as the box beneath his hands.

"You are upset with me, are you not?" Loki stood up straighter. Yes, he was upset with his father, but now was not really the time, was it? Still, there was a question, an old familiar one he was sure he'd asked his father many times.

"Do you hate me?" Loki asked. Odin let out a long-suffering sigh. "Because lately you have been avoiding me, and short with me and I do not understand...well, that is a lie. I've ruined this family."

"You have not ruined this family, my son." Odin sighed, shaking his head. "I believe I am more to blame for the state of our family." Loki laughed and shook his head.

"I won't argue with you who of us is more to blame, but please father, my actions are mine and mine alone, I began Baldur's spiral to madness, that rests on my shoulders. Don't you recall, 'tell the people what you've done', father?" Loki asked, repeating the words over and over in his mind. The secret was driving him mad, even telling Sif wasn't enough he had to let it out, but not now, now was no time. But part of him refused, part of him screamed to tell, _tell now_!

"Baldur came to me, father, he asked me so long ago if I thought Thor would make a good king. I told him that Thor wasn't ready for the throne; that him or I would make a better king at the time. It was a joke, I swear! I didn't mean it!" Loki pleaded for his father to understand, he'd never…he didn't mean… Odin stared at his son blankly. "I… he told me everything, he wanted my help, he promised me a seat beside him, but I… I told him no, I said I couldn't help him…I betrayed him… I ruined him." Loki could feel himself crying as he said the words; so fearful he was about to lose everything all over again. "That is what I have done." Loki whispered solemnly, looking down at the floor beneath his feet.

"If your actions are your own, then so are Baldur's. You stood by him even as he plotted to kill you and those you held dear. You protected Asgard and protected him, a feat few could have managed, and you saved us all. Baldur would have undoubtedly gone along with his plans should you not have said what you did to him, and you would have been ignorant to his plans. No my son, this was never your fault." Loki frowned, taking in his father's words, perhaps he was right. Odin was a wise old man after all, even if he had his moments of blind folly.

"I…thank you father." Loki smiled slightly, glancing upward, and found his father looking far wearier than he expected. "Father, are you all right?" Loki began to walk to closer and then broke into a run as Odin began to collapse. "Father!" Loki's voice broke in panic. No, this can't happen not now, Thor wasn't there, it was only him… Loki screamed for the guards, and they rushed in, quickly bearing his father away.

Odin was in the Odinsleep, and only Loki remained.


	10. Ch 9: King of Asgard

_**Chapter 9: King of Asgard**_

* * *

_June 31, 2011 AD_

The All-Father's chamber was bathed in a light golden glow, emanating from the shimmering light that covered over the boat like bed where the great king slept. At the head, on either side, were his wife and youngest son, watching him carefully, closely. Loki had taken too much to staring at things lately, but it just seemed like the thing to do. It seemed like all he could do. Father's sleep was different this time; there was no warning, no preparations, no nothing. He never grew used to seeing his father this way, the peterually strong, solid, never ending and secure form of his father weak and vulnerable, helpless as a newborn child. It wasn't right, it didn't fit. And yet it happened still, despite the wrongness of it all.

"I worry…" She whispered, drawing Loki's attention away from his father and to his mother's grief etched face. When had sorrow laid so deeply there? _You know very well when._ Loki hissed in his thoughts. "I fear he may not wake…"

"He will, mother." Loki assured her, even if he didn't really believe it himself. It was the least he could do, to hold up his family as he had ever tried to. He may lie to her, to bolster her weary soul. Frigga smiled gently at him, looking back down to her husband.

"You and he were at odds, before he slept." She sighed. Loki took a deep breath, leaning back from the golden bed, knowing she was right. "He loves you, Loki, you know that don't you?" Loki nodded slowly.

"He always made sure I knew." Loki whispered. And he always had, hadn't he? Looking back on his life, Odin had always impressed upon Loki that he was loved, that he was equal, that he did not have to prove anything to anyone. There were days when Loki wished they never told him, that he'd never known. But, Loki knew he would have found out at some point, and how terrible would it have been, learning some other way, some later day? Even if his father had, by telling him the truth, made his life immeasurably difficult, even if he had inadvertently stolen Loki's childhood from him, Odin had made every effort to help Loki where he could. "I do not understand then…why?" Frigga frowned at him. "What in the nine possessed him to _kill me?_ I simply do not _understand. _If I did I… I could try to forgive him, truly, but as it stands now… I do not know why he did it… If he loved me, as he said…"

"He _does love you._" Frigga urged, trying to pour all of her truth and honesty into the words. "As for _why_, I do not know exactly why… he has never told me. I think he is ashamed of his reason, whatever it may be." The All-Mother sighed heavily, eyes drifting to her husband's sleeping form as she spoke her next words.

"He was so sorry, for what he did to you. He was so sorry Loki. He blamed himself for what he saw happening to his family, and then when you came back, he didn't know what to do. It was why he did not go to Hela himself, as much as he wanted you, he feared you, your anger and pain. He couldn't face you, he was too ashamed." Loki frowned.

"Feared my…" Loki sighed and his eyes drifted away. "I am angry with him, of course I'm angry." He trialed off, trying to keep from letting loose just how angry he was. His father's betrayal had cut deep, the rest he'd expected in their own ways, but not his father's, and he'd never expected death. He'd never felt so betrayed in all his life, not even each time Baldur had turned on him. He was more hurt and confused than angry, but anger was so much easier an emotion than either of those, it's sick beckoning like a siren's song. It was a trap, burning the already charred bridges of his family. So Loki forced himself to look past the anger to the roots of it all, the wound the dirty rags of fury tried to cover over, infecting it as they played at healing. He took a deep breath and spoke again. "I am willing to forgive him." Loki looked down. Even if he did not believe his own words, he spoke them. Some times, he had to simply tell himself he forgave people in his head, and he'd slowly believe it in his heart. That was how it was now, with his father, with most of them. It was harder than they knew, to let this all go. Most of them, Thor, his mother, Sif, Fandral, he'd forgiven them in his heart. But not his father. Not yet.

But he was willing to try.

"I know, Loki. And he can hear you, now." Frigga said, sighing. "And he knows." Loki blinked slowly, then turned when he heard the door open. Oh, he'd been dreading this, and so much of him was still shocked, numb when he saw them, holding Gungnir. The chaos of emotions inside him rose even higher, fear now adding itself to the powerful cocktail of anger, confusion and hurt. "With Thor gone, the line of succession falls to you." Frigga said as Loki stood slowly, fighting to clear his head, reign in his emotions. His movements were almost in slow motion as he gently took his father's spear from the high councilor. He glanced back at his mother, and she smiled at him, nodding encouragingly. Loki curled his hands around Gungnir tighter.

He could do this.

* * *

"All-Father, we need to – oh, Loki." Fandral nearly tripped when he saw his friend, in all his regalia and horned helm, sitting on the All-Father's throne. Something akin to dread began to settle in his stomach, not at the fact that Loki was on the throne, but what it meant about the All-Father. First Thor, and now his father. "Is there something wrong?"

"My father has fallen into the Odinsleep. Until he wakes, I am regent." Loki replied, still fingering Gungnir slightly as he sat on his borrowed throne. Fandral nodded respectfully. "Do you need something my friends?"

"It's about Thor." Volstagg said. Loki frowned, eyes narrowing slightly. He looked intimidating on that throne, far more than even his friends thought possible.

"I think we've already been through this. Thor stays where he is, and tries to learn his lesson, whatever that may be. And I'm not going to go against my father's last act in my first." Loki told them, his tone carried a note of sureness and finality almost reminiscent of Odin himself.

"Of course, we would not ask you to bring Thor back." Fandral clarified, and he was surprised to see Loki's shoulders visibly relax, as though he'd been expecting a fight from them. Though he probably was on edge as it was, he'd just had a throne he'd never wanted or expected thrown in his face, so Fandral let it go.

"We would ask if we could go to him, perhaps help him get his power back." Sif said. Loki cocked his head, thinking the plan over.

"All four of you?" He asked, and they all nodded. "I don't see any harm in you going… however, if you could wait until there is a more stable situation with Jotunhiem, I may need you here if events continue on their current course." Loki replied.

"But Loki, we will need Thor if there is a war." Volstagg protested. Loki nodded slightly.

"I do not disagree. However, Thor is in exile at the moment, and until I know there is no hope for diplomacy, I shall act as if there is. Please, understand my friends, I do not mean to keep you from Thor, and I want him home as much as you all do, perhaps more. But, I am regent; I have to think of Asgard, not just my own needs or wants. Asgard needs to avoid a war, and if Thor remaining in exile for a time ensures that, I am afraid he must stay there. Trust me, I will let you go to Thor as soon as I can." Loki tried to assure his friends. They were warriors, men of action, sitting around and waiting for him to figure this out didn't suit them.

"What do you plan to do, go to Jotunhiem and hope for the best?" Sif asked.

"I am still figuring that out. Please, my friends, I need you here for a time. You know as well as I that most of Asgard's army does not…enjoy my leading them. If a war began, I will need you here." That seemed to satiate his friends. Loki let himself relax slightly, he did not want to have to deal with these four running off to Midgard without his permission, and by the looks of it, they would wait for his word. For now.

"Of course, my king." Hogun replied, with a small bow that was reflected by the others. Loki blinked for a moment, as if surprised that they were bowing to him, but then smiled slightly as they left. Perhaps he could pay his brother a visit before they got to him. Just a projection, but he did want to check up on Thor. And, even if he was in exile on Midgard, he should at least know what was going on in Asgard, if only to more inform him of what his foolhardiness had unleashed. Loki knew full well he had no good news to share, besides the potential coming their friends to Thor's aid. But Thor should be up to date.

It had nothing to with Loki wanting to make sure his brother was all right.

Nothing at all.

* * *

Finding Thor, even in the vastness of all the universe, was no hard task. Localization spells were difficult to master, but mere child's play to Loki's skilled machinations. And the spell grew easier the better one knew the person they were attempting to locate, and Loki knew Thor like the back of his own hand. He was not hard to find, the energy that flowed around him, even as a mortal, was as brash and ostentatious as the man himself. But Loki was confused about where he found him. He was not far from Mjolnir, and anger, confusion and worry swept off him in droves. Loki hid his projection from the mortals as he wandered about the complex they had set up for a little while, sliding his emerald gaze over all they were doing, ensuring in his own mind that they meant no harm to his brother.

They would have hell to pay if they had any malicious intentions towards Thor.

As it stood, they were merely curious about him, and interrogating him. Loki knew his time watching Thor was short, so he sent a flit of magic at Mjolnir, told the hammer to act up. It was enough to garner the attention of the man pestering Thor, and Loki slipped in the room after he left.

"Oh Thor, what have you gotten yourself into now?" Thor's head jerked up at the sound of Loki's voice, and he was stunned to find his brother staring down at him.

"Loki!" Thor exclaimed, trying to stand and embrace his brother, but Loki put a hand up to stop him.

"Projection Thor, I can't actually come. I'm a little busy." He said, and Thor sat back down, pouting slightly. "Having some trouble with Mjolnir, I assume?" Thor's eyes flashed.

"It is no laughing matter Loki! I cannot pick up my own weapon." He looked downcast, and shook his head. "I am sorry, I nearly got you and all of our friends killed. You are all right aren't you, Loki?" Thor asked, sighing in relief when Loki nodded. "Thank the Norns, you looked awful before father banished me, I thought you'd been hurt."

"I was, long ago. But our friends are coming to see you, they should be here in a few days, though I'm not sure." Loki answered, eyes drifting away. Even he had little faith in any agreement being formed between Asgard and Jotunhiem at this moment.

"Father let them come?"

"No, I did. Father is in the Odinsleep…mother fears he will not wake." Thor looked stricken, eyes falling to the floor. Loki sighed, he didn't need to burden Thor with this, but neither did he want to keep secrets, or for Thor to hear secondhand. "Thor, he will be fine. But in the mean time I'm in charge and I don't like it so please find someway to prove yourself worthy soon so I can get off this fordæmdur throne?" Thor laughed, shaking his head.

"Most people would never say that."

"Well I am not most people."

"I am well aware." Thor mumbled, shaking his head. "I'm not sure how I'll get out of here, can you think of anything?"

"Not this time, I'm afraid. This you have to figure out on your own." Loki felt on of the men coming back to the door, as Mjolnir was calmed down now. "Best of luck, brother." Thor was about to protest, but Loki's projection vanished and Thor was left saying goodbye to empty air.

_"Goodbye? I just got back."_

* * *

Loki opened his eyes, seeing the throne room once more. Thor was well, if in a sticky situation, and that was good to know. He would watch his brother, make sure all was well. Gungnir allowed him to do that and he planned on taking full advantage of being able to spy on Thor. He hated to leave so abruptly with barley anything in the way of a goodbye, he wished he could spent longer talking, but events were determined to part them for the time being. Exile was exile, after all. And Loki had other things to do than worry over Thor, more important things than putting his own mind at ease. For now at least, he was a king, and he had to put the rest of the world's needs above his own desires.

"Your Majesty?" The call of a guard pulled Loki from his stupor, and he shook his head slightly, hoping the guard had not been there too long.

"What is it?"

"Captain Tyr is here, my lord." Loki nodded, standing slowly.

"Send him in please." The guard bowed sharply and turned on his heel back out the door. Tyr was the Captain of the guard, and Loki had a few changes to make, to get the castle ready for war. Even if he hoped against hope to avoid bloodshed, he would have to be ready for it should it come.

Tyr was a gruff and stoic as Loki remembered him from his childhood days training with the Chief of the Guard. He had few encounters with the monster of a man since then, besides in feasts when he would habitually tell the tale of how he lost his hand to a wolf that seemed to grow in size each time he told the story. He was a typical Asgardian, big, gruff and all about honor and fighting. That made him easy for Loki to deal with, and luckily he had a mind for strategy, and was loyal to Asgard to a fault. If he was upset with the current king, or regent, he made no mention of it, and followed Loki's instructions, giving his own advice once and while as well. It was late night by the time they were done, Tyr going to his barracks to give out orders, and Loki to his chambers, trying to sleep. Even if he felt more secure about Asgard's defense by the end of his meeting, he was no less restless, no less worried.

Sleep evaded him once more.

* * *

_July 1, 2011 AD_

The next day found Loki much the same as before, though significantly more tired and distraught. He had not eaten or slept since the return from Jotunhiem, and it was taking its toll on his body, but not to drastic degree.

But as of the moment, Loki had other, more important things to do than worry about his own health. Like staving off a war. Laufey wanted war, which was understandable, but Loki would do near anything to keep it from coming. That included going to the heart of enemy territory. Alone.

Thor might be getting to him, because this was a foolish plan.

* * *

"You are still not dressed warmly enough." Loki raised an eyebrow at the gatekeeper's words.

"I have not said a word of where I am planning to go." Loki said, frowning as he walked up the Heimdal. "But yes, I am going to Jotunhiem, and I was not cold last time, I am relatively certain I will not freeze to death." Heimdal nodded, accepting Loki's answer.

"My words to you before still extend, I cannot take you back if it poses a threat to Asgard." Loki's frown deepened.

"I am regent, Heimdal, if I were to die, there would be no one to rule in my father's stead."

"Which is why you should be careful, my king." Loki nodded, standing in front of the Bifrost. "Good luck, my king." With those words, Loki was pulled into the Bifrost, and catapulted towards Jotunhiem.

* * *

It was a bit of a walk from the Bifrost site to the palace, if it could be called that. Loki could not feel the cold on his skin, the frostbitten air of the winter realm did not touch him, but shivers ran down his body from nerves as he walked. He could see them; ruby eyes staring at him like angry spots of blood contrasting on dark blue skin.

"Odinson. You are not wise in coming here." Laufey's voice was full of malice as he looked at Loki. The young prince looked past the king, spotting a large Jotun who he knew was Laufey's son, and technically his younger brother. "What do you seek?" Loki drew his eyes back to the matter at hand quickly.

"I seek a way to avoid further bloodshed for both our realms." Loki said calmly, tightening his grip on Gungnir as if just holding the spear would protect him from the wrath of a thousand frost giants. Laufey almost laughed.

"We are beyond that now, little prince. Or should I say, king? Odin is in his sleep I see." Perhaps he should have left Gungnir behind.

"We do not have to go to war, Thor has been punished for his actions, stripped of his title and banished from Asgard until he learns. And though my father may be sleeping and my brother banished, do not make the mistake of thinking that Asgard is poorly defended." Loki's voice was firm and commanding, the voice of a king. Laufey drew back; he knew the story of the boy in front of him, as much as any one in Jotunhiem did. He knew that the royal family was fracturing, and he had never expected the quiet, small, younger prince of Asgard to stand here before him, more of a king than his elder brother was.

"You brother began this, it will not be stopped." The king leaned in closer now, ruby red eyes boring holes in his unknown son. "The house of Odin is full of traitors. Leave this realm now, before you become the first Asgardian casualty in this war." Loki drew himself up, trying to think if there was another way out of this. But he could find nothing.

"Very well." Loki breathed, eyes catching the shaking of Laufey's son's head as he turned to leave, being careful to watch for attackers as he slipped away.

* * *

"How-"

"You know very well how, don't ask." Loki cut the gatekeeper off angrily. "Watch the Jotuns, Laufey refuses to negotiate and longs for a war. Tell me immediately if they move to try to attack." Heimdal nodded as Loki swept out of the observatory. He had just wasted far too much of his day on something he knew wasn't going to work anyway. And his mother after that.

* * *

The sound of swift and tense footfalls echoed on the walls, joined with the clang of a metal spear hitting the stone floor every few steps, when the owner let it brush against the ground. Loki Odinson was a man on a mission; he had a realm to hold together.

"Loki, is everything all right?" Frigga asked when Loki came through the doors of her bedchamber, looking less than happy as he sat down next to his father's bedside. "Loki?"

"It's Laufey." Loki mumbled.

"You went to Jotunhiem, didn't you." He nodded, and Frigga sighed. "What did you expect, Loki? Laufey wishes for a war between our people, he will not stop threatening it. You should not have gone, he could have killed you."

"I know that." Loki sighed, looking over to his mother. "I cannot stave off war, and they got into Asgard once, and now they will do so again, probably with an army, right in the heart of the palace!"

"We do not know if they could repeat that, Loki. We do not even know how they got there in the first place." Frigga sighed.

"I do." Loki rubbed his forehead. "There are other paths between the realms, and I found them, marked them out in one of my journals. But I never told a soul about them, it wasn't good to know, they would leave us too vulnerable to attack."

"I had all of your journals, Loki, I never came across anything of the kind." Frigga said, her voice a little worried.

"Father probably got to it before you did." Loki assured her. "Which is a shame, there was a lot of very powerful and useful magic in there, but at least nobody else has found it." Loki wasn't sure that it was not found though. Things were adding up, events and statements coming together in ways he could not ignore. Baldur said it wasn't over, Laufey claiming there were traitors, magic that only Loki knew and only put in journals long missing was reappearing. He would be a fool to ignore all of this. There was something more than just bad luck and poor choices going on here. Something, or someone, was making this happen. But Loki kept these things to himself, after all, it was still speculation. "It would be, very unfortunate, if those books got into the wrong hands."

"Why is that?" Frigga asked, curious about what her son had been up to in his spare time. It was common knowledge that Loki was a mage, but few people knew the degree, the fact that not a single mage in the nine rivaled Loki in his abilities.

"It had the pathways in it, and ways to conceal oneself from Heimdal and other things I don't want people to know about. I kept it rather well hidden in my room, but it's gone now, father probably got to it." Frigga nodded, understanding her son's actions. Loki was always cautious with what he knew, and quite cagey about the more powerful spells he knew or created. It came from the fact that when he was younger he was teaching a mage one of his new, very strong spells, but the mage lost control of the magic and it nearly killed him. The mage had been twice Loki's age, and still unable to preform the same sort of magic. From then on, Loki hadn't taught a soul any of his created magic, even the most powerful of healing spells, one that he used to heal fatal wounds. Frigga was proud of her son, and grateful for his caution, it kept him from getting hurt.

"He said the house of Odin is full of traitors." Loki's voice was barely above a whisper, but it was like a yell to Frigga.

"Loki, you cannot believe a word he says!"

"I know, I know. I just wonder, why would he say that? How much does he know about me and Baldur?" Frigga took a deep breath.

"I do not know, though probably not much. Mostly only our close allies know as much as Asgard itself does. And even they do not know everything."

"Well they know most of it, thanks to Baldur." Frigga sighed, nodding slightly. "I'm so lost, I don't know what to do." Loki put his head in his hands. "I never expected to be in this position, on my father's throne and now here I am and on the brink of war!" Loki let out a shuddering sigh. "They will never follow me, mother. They only ever followed Thor."

"They will follow you, my son. You are their king." Loki sighed, eyes drifting with his thoughts. _You could have stopped this._ His mind hissed at him. _You could have stopped him, but you didn't. Silver tongue indeed._

"I should have stopped him."

"Thor is stubborn, there was nothing you could have done." Frigga sighed. "Perhaps, in some way, this is what is best for Thor. Perhaps he will learn some patience. Your father had a reason to banish Thor, there is a reason to everything he does." Loki smiled, how many times he heard those words over the years, the explanation for everything, his mother's go to fallback. It was true, but sometimes it annoyed him.

"I have to go." Loki sighed, standing slowly.

"Do your mother a favor and get some rest and food today." Frigga told him, and Loki smiled. "It's terribly late, whatever you have to do can wait, Loki."

"Of course." He could indulge her. The things he had to do could wait a bit longer. They could wait a few hours of tossing and turning in his bed before he got fed up and did what he had to do.

* * *

_July 2, 2011 (Around 1:00 am)_

"Sif, Volstagg, Hogun, Fandral, get packing. You're going to Midgard." Loki's voice was harsh and his words spoken quickly as he stood in the doorway of the balcony the friends called their own. It was still the middle of the night, tiny hours of the morning. He had tried to sleep, to no avail, and apparently his friends had the same problem. All four of the room's occupants snapped towards him, expressions ranging from surprise to confusion, to Hogun's singular gruff countenance.

"Now?" Fandral asked.

"Yes, now. Jotunhiem is beyond diplomacy, and we are going to need Thor for this if we have any hopes of winning. I cannot simply bring him home, but I know that my father would not leave him without a means of returning. He will have his power back if he is worthy. Help him find that means, and quickly." Loki said, before turning swiftly on his heel and sweeping out of the room, green cape billowing behind him.

"You know, whoever claims Loki is not cut out to be a king, has clearly never met him." Sif mused. "Come my friends, our king has given us our orders, we must fulfill them."

* * *

_July 2, 2011 AD (Around 9:00am)_

_Puente Antigo, New Mexico, Midgard._

Looking at the skillet and the eggs sizzling on it, Thor was grateful he knew how to cook. Years of camping trips and adventures had taught him that skill well enough, and now he could preform a small favor for those people who had been so kind to him, even if that was just making them breakfast. He was surprised how much he had learned in such a short time on Midgard, he was fairly certain Loki had been trying to teach him these lessons for millennia, and he had learned them now in a few days. But being stripped of power and titles would do that, he supposed. These people were so good to him, not because of who he was, but merely because they were being kind. It humbled him greatly, to know such good people, and made him think of his home, how few people were like that, it seemed. The only person he could think of was Loki, who always seemed to treat everyone the same, from his brother to the lowliest servant in the palace, always putting them before himself. Perhaps he should have learned something from that after watching it all those years, instead of teasing Loki for it.

Speaking of Loki, his brother had told him their friends were coming, but they had not yet arrived. What was holding them? Pray, don't let it be war, he would never survive the guilt. Was something wrong, was Loki having trouble and needed them to stay?

Suddenly there was a great banging on the glass windows in front of them.

"Found you!" _Ah, that would be them now._ Erik's mug met its end on the concrete floor, and Jane and Darcy just stared, while Thor beamed. His friends were here! While the others were standing dumbfounded, Thor went over to let his friends in.

"My friends, Loki told me you would be coming." He said, embracing them in turn.

"Loki told you, how?" Sif asked.

"A projection. He wished to inform me of some things before you came here. So, Loki sits on the throne?" Thor asked.

"He does. He sent us to help you." Fandral replied. "Who are your friends?" Thor turned around, looking back at his new Midgardian friends.

"These are my friends, Jane Foster, Erik Selvig and Darcy Lewis." Thor then turned back, and introduced them. "My friends, this is Sif and the warriors three, Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun."

"Uh… I guess you're not crazy." Jane said, regaining her senses the quickest and shaking Sif's hand, and proceeding to Thor's other friends. "So, are you all, from Asgard?"

"Of course. Thor, what have you been telling these people?" Fandral asked, glancing over at Darcy who was making googly eyes at them. He smiled and waved, which earned a him a slap from Sif, growling at him; _don't even_.

"Only the truth."

"Who's Loki?" Darcy asked.

"Thor, you didn't mention your own brother?" Sif exclaimed. "Loki is Thor's younger brother, and the current regent of Asgard. He would have come, but he's busy." She explained.

"Loki, god of lies according to the Norse." Erik mumbled. Thor frowned, but it was Sif who jumped to Loki's defense.

"Loki is as trustworthy as people come, you would be wise to trust the word of his friends rather than misinformed and long dead mortals." She snapped back. Thor sighed, and put a hand on Sif's shoulder, shaking his head.

"My friends, thank you for coming, but I'm unsure what you expect to do. You cannot take me home." Thor said.

"We're here to help you, and for company." Volstagg said.

"Loki might need your help, if things with Jotunhiem get worse." Thor sighed. "I fear that I may have caused a war with my actions there, and I do not want Loki to have to bear that alone."

"Loki sent us to come and help you get home. Asgard is on the edge of war, Thor. That is why we are here, we need you in Asgard." Sif said solemnly. Thor's blue eyes grew huge, almost horrified by the notion.

"You left him there, alone? Are you mad!"

"Loki knows what he's doing Thor, don't underestimate him and don't treat him like a child. I know you're afraid of loosing him but he can care for himself. Besides, he ordered us to go, there wasn't much we could do to argue, especially not with the mood he was in." Fandral replied, trying to calm Thor down.

"Thor, can you think of something, anything that your father may have said when you were banished? Any clues?" Thor frowned, and turned to his new friends. He would need everyone's help for this.

* * *

_July 2, 2011 (Around 9:15am)_

Calm before the storm. One never knows the true meaning of those words until they are faced with the eve of battle, or the wait upon the outbreak of war. Loki had faced the day before battle many times, but it never felt like this. This was pure torture. The air was thick with dreading anticipation, the city quiet with solemn fear. Loki had readied the palace for war, but kept the city as calm as he could, the Jotuns would not come there first. Their pathway lead into the palace, so from the palace they would stop the frost giant advance, should it come. Heimdal was watching, but he had told Loki something most disturbing. His sight was being blocked, meddled with. More use of secrets Loki had found and tried to keep hidden. Someone had found his spells, and they were using them against him. _Damn them._

The palace throne room was silent, air heavy there as it was everywhere else. There was no movement in the air; things were quiet, far too quiet. If the king didn't know better, he would have bet a certain prince of Asgard was worried, but not this time. This time it was natural weather, reacting in it's own way to the tension clinging to the people swimming through the thick air. Loki was exhausted, his nerves were frayed and his already weak body was beginning to fail him. His mind was growing slower, duller. He knew it showed, though he was good at schooling its effects with a simple guise and change in posture when need be.

Loki hoped that Thor would be able to pick up his hammer soon. He had to, Loki was sick of sitting on this borrowed throne, tired of bending to all of this pressure. He hoped Sif and the warriors three could help with the matter. He also hoped that his father's purpose in teaching Thor some humility and discretion panned out, he'd been trying to do that himself for years. But, in the mean time, Loki was trying desperately to juggle the looming war with the frost giants. His thoughts were there and there alone as he sat on Asgard's golden throne. A lone guard came into the throne room, making Loki straighten up in the massive seat, shifting out of his slouching position to a more professional one.

"What is it?" He asked calmly, but something twinged in the back if his mind. There was something wrong with this picture. The guard was silent, just looking at him. Then he laughed. Loki frowned, standing slowly. He hated the fact that his magic and senses were still mostly crippled, he couldn't know what was going on.

"So the one who wants it the least gets it first. How ironic." Loki's eyes widened. Baldur. The illusion shed off of him, leaving behind the familiar and haunting face of Loki's younger brother. It only took seconds for Loki's mind to shift all the pieces into place. It's not over, traitors in Odin's house, the seeming orchestration of events, it all settled into place, except the magic part of the puzzle. It was all Baldur. Loki leveled Gungnir at him, eyes cold as ice.

"Go back to your cell Baldur." Loki said sternly. Baldur only laughed, lifting his hand slightly.

"I thought you'd notice. I even told you! How blind has your tenure with Hela made you?" He asked, wide sneer twisting across his face.

"Go." Loki growled.

"It was me, you idiot. The frost giants, Thor's banishment, all of it. I had plans, and friends. All me, you little fool." Baldur threw his hand forward. Loki only knew it was a knife when it hit him in the rib cage, chipping his bones and driving in just under his lungs. He cursed himself for not seeing, but in reality, there was nothing he could have done. Loki's strength failed him, Gungnir slipped from his fingers as he leaned onto the throne for support. Baldur came and stood over him, shaking his head. "You are much to easy to kill. No fun in it really." He pushed Loki to the ground, leaning him up against the foot of the throne. "Now, I can't have you dying on me. I need you to watch." Baldur said.

"Watch what?" Loki hissed, holding his hand at the knife and wound in his side. His fingers were already red with blood, and the pressure he was trying stem to flow of it with was hurting him almost more than being stabbed.

"Watch me kill Thor. Should be even easier than you, because he's a banished mortal now." Baldur replied. Loki panicked, trying to grab Gungnir away from Baldur, but the traitor prince only laughed walking away. "Amora, keep him down." And that was the magic part of the puzzle settling into place, as well as Baldur's agent. Loki saw her, yellow gold hair swinging at the small of her back, little green crown shinning on her head as her eyes glinted with an anger and vanity he now knew well. She swept out from behind the throne, casting a spell to bind Loki where he was. "You know, those journals of yours were so helpful to me and Amora in getting the frost giants in, and those spells Loki, my goodness you could conquer realms with those. Too bad you have no plans. However, my eyes are much bigger than yours."

" You should not have done that." Loki hissed, gasping for air afterwards, trying to stave off a cough.

"And you shouldn't be talking, shut up." Loki sighed, holding back another cough and swallowed thickly. He was forced to watch as Baldur used Gungnir to call the destroyer, and sent it to earth. He tried shutting his eyes, but that only showed him Midgard, Gungnir's sight still tied to him. He tried to move, desperately, he had to stop Baldur. He was failing again, he couldn't do that. Not again, please, no. He saw the warriors three trying to fight the destroyer, but he knew it was no use. He watched, forced himself to watch as Baldur closed in, as Thor looked so confused, he thought it was Loki. That made Loki's heart bleed, his poor brother, thinking Loki betrayed him. Loki wanted to scream at Thor as he walked to the metal monster, scream that it wasn't him; that nothing Thor said would work and run, _oh please Thor run. Run! Get out of the way! Thor no! Please Thor! It's not me, run! Run, run! RUN! _ Thor didn't run, he tried to talk Loki down, but it wasn't Loki. He could see the hurt and betrayed faces of his friends, confused and uncomprehending of what was going on. _Were they wrong about him?_ He could see the question in their eyes.

Thor didn't move.

_Please don't…_

_That's my brother…_

_Please…_

_Baldur…_

No use. Loki's heart screamed in agony when Thor went flying, he could feel the tears streaking down his face, which was twisted in anguish.

Thor was dead.

_Thor _was _dead._

Loki jumped when Amora kicked him, making a disappointed face when he opened his eyes.

"Still alive. How annoying. Oh well, the frost giants will kill you." Loki's eyes widened. Frost giants? _Baldur, what are you doing? _Loki thought, looking over to his wickedly smiling brother.

"Come on Amora, we have things to do." Amora covered Baldur in the guise if his older brother as they slipped out of the room, leaving Loki gasping for air on the floor. He still couldn't move, and he didn't even want to. Loki had no idea how long he just sat there, weeping silently and waiting for the knife in his chest to take his life. It refused; despite Loki's own will to die and the blood loss he'd suffered, the king of Asgard could not even find solace in senselessness. He'd utterly failed at what he set out to do, Thor was dead and Baldur had done the deed. Some good he was. Then something clicked into gear at the back of Loki's mind, perhaps it was the sense of honor engrained in his mind from a young age, perhaps it was the popular idea that bravery would soothe pain, but more likely, it was Loki knowing what he had to do. He had a realm to protect, and he would not let Asgard fall into the hands of a madman while he still drew breath. That would never happen. Loki opened his heavy eyelids and scanned the room. Baldur, for some reason, had left Gungnir on the floor. Loki felt Amora's spell leave, the caster loosing proximity to the subject. He moved his hand to the knife in his side. He couldn't take it out, that would kill him, but he couldn't leave it as it was. This was going to hurt. He steeled himself, closing his eyes and pushing. He couldn't help the cry of pain that escaped as the knife went all the way into him, to its flat hilt. He sat there for a moment, chest heaving up and down as he fought through the searing pain. He really just wanted to sit there and weep, he'd just watched his brother die. But there were things to be done, mourning could wait. Loki was king of Asgard, and he had to defend it. Slowly, the king pushed himself off the floor, holding himself up with the throne. He walked unsteadily, leaning over and picking up Gungnir, leaning heavily on the staff. Thank the Norns he'd readied the palace for war…

The guards looked stunned when their king limped out of his throne room. They tried to help him stand, but he pushed them off.

"Baldur's escaped. He's bringing frost giants. Get to the Bifrost." He breathed, straightening up in an attempt to not look so injured as he was. It hurt like nothing else but it had to be done. The guards seemed concerned, but did as he told them. Loki closed his eyes as they left, blocking out the pain from his mind. He stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then he took off for his father's room, knowing his parents were there. His path though the palace was painful, every step reminding him of the knife in his chest. He could barely walk, his gait slow and dragging as his side froze up with each step he took, pain shooting up and down as he walked. But the ice sent all of it to the back of his mind; they were in his parent's room.

Loki pushed the door open, finding Laufey leaning over his father, small knife ready to kill. His mother was on the floor, holding a frostbitten arm. Loki wasn't sure which sight made him angrier.

"Laufey!" Loki yelled, getting the Jotun king's attention. The towering giant turned, slowly, to face Loki.

"He said you would be dead." He hissed.

"Baldur lied. Get used to it." Loki snapped.

"I'll just have to kill you as well then." Laufey snarled, lunging at Loki, who took no time in dispatching the frost giant king with Gungnir.

"Loki, you're hurt." Loki turned his mother, who was still on the floor, felled by Laufey in an attempt to save Odin.

"I've just killed my father." He whispered, staring at the charred remains of the wall and frost giant. He shook his head kneeling down next to him mother. "Are you alright?"

"I will be fine. Loki, Laufey is not your father, he gave that right up long ago." She comforted him. Loki smiled, but it still lingered at the back if his mind. "You're bleeding!" She exclaimed, looking at Loki's hands, and down to his side. He was going to have to cover that with a guise, if he could find the energy.

"I'm fine." He told her swiftly, starting to go out to the Bifrost. What was Baldur planning? "Stay here." Once more, Loki was thanking his lucky stars for adrenaline, because it was all he could be running on at the moment.

"Loki, let the guards handle it, you are injured." Frigga grabbed at her sons hand, desperate not to loose him again.

"It's nothing, just a scratch." Loki lied, pulling away from her. He withheld Thor's death from her, she didn't need that now. But with Thor gone, Loki was the only thing, once again, that stood between Baldur and success. She looked so worried, and he didn't want to hurt her, but he had to go. "I'll be fine, but I must go." He smiled, and left the room swiftly.

* * *

_July 2, 2011 (Around 9:45am)_

Loki rode out to the Bifrost, his weakness and wound becoming more apparent by the second, every step Sleipnir took was like being stabbed all over again. He saw them, two pair of huge frost giants, between then, Heimdal stood frozen solid. The giants charged at Loki, which was a massive mistake. Even if he could barely fight in his condition, Gungnir was all he needed, blazing light from the staff dispatching them as it had their overzealous king. After dealing with them, Loki eased himself off of Sleipnir, trying not to aggravate his injury further, and went to help Heimdal. Placing his hands on the ice encasing the golden-eyed guardian, he cracked the ice surrounding the wise old gatekeeper, stepping back as Heimdal did the rest on his own.

"Where is Baldur?" Loki asked, breathless and holding his side again, before pulling himself up once more, but he could feel weakness bleeding through him. His clothes were already drenched in blood, Loki didn't know how much more of this his weakened body could take. He could already, despite the adrenaline, feel himself fading.

"He went back to the palace." Heimdal said, turning to the Bifrost. "Your brother is calling." Loki frowned. Few people referred to Baldur as his brother anymore, the youngest Odinson was essentially disowned by not only his entire family, but Asgard as well. So, who could Heimdal be speaking of…

"Thor? He's alive?" Loki asked, and Heimdal nodded. Loki let out a sigh as relief washed over him. He didn't care how Thor was alive, Loki was just glad that he _was_. He'd need to put that guise on now, no need to worry Thor.

"And he has regained his power." Loki shook his head as the Bifrost came to life, gathering power and shooting off to Midgard. Why had he ever doubted his stubborn brother? Heimdal collapsed almost in the same instant that Thor and the warriors three appeared.

"Get him to the healing rooms." Thor told the three, who quickly complied. The thunderer's gaze shifted over to his brother, who had put a mask over himself and his spear, taking away the rather obvious bloodstains on both. "Loki..."

"It's Baldur, Thor, it wasn't me." Loki breathed. Relief washed over not only Thor's face, but also everyone else's. "Don't look so relieved, he's tried to kill everyone. Amora is with him, they're in the palace." Thor nodded curtly.

"Amora? Your old teacher?" Fandral asked, clearly confused.

"Yes, Amora. How she got in contact with Baldur and how long she has been helping him, I do not know. I had no idea of her involvement until today. I thought she was long gone…" Loki shook his head. "Be careful, she's stronger than you think."

"I thought it was you." Thor said, nodding his head towards the opening of the Bifrost.

"Idiot." Loki growled, leaning on Gungnir heavily for a moment.

"Are you alright?" Sif asked. Loki nodded swiftly. "You look awful."

"I'm fine. I'll stay here in case he comes back. You try and find Baldur." Thor nodded, pulling Sif along as they left. Once they were far enough away, Loki collapsed on the steps to the pedestal of the Bifrost, head leaning back against it. He knew that if he tried to make it back to the palace, he'd pass out in the way. At least here he could do some good. He just had to stay awake. The adrenaline was wearing off and the pain was hitting him full force now. He knew this feeling, though it was slower than before. He the guise go, eyes drifting over the bloody handprints on Gungnir's gold surface. His clothes too felt wet and sticky, his hands slick with blood.

He could just sit here, rest for a bit. He'd be ok. Just…stay awake.

* * *

_July 2, 2011 (Around 10:15am)_

"You always ruin everything!" Loki looked up as Baldur roared in anger, raging voice jolting the king from his half conscious state. "I was going to be the hero of Asgard, they would have loved me. But no, you just have to get in the way!" Adrenaline rushed back into Loki's system, and he stood up. "Why won't you just die already!" He yelled, lunging at Loki who moved out of the way with all the speed he could muster, which was not much. He just prayed Thor would get here soon.

"Stop moving so I can kill you!" Baldur screamed. Loki almost wanted to laugh at the words, but it would hurt too much, and be too foolish. The younger brother proved too much for his dying older sibling, and soon had the king of Asgard on the ground once more, gasping for air. Baldur grabbed Gungnir, ripping it from Loki's weak grasp. "Mine." He snapped, turning from his fallen brother to the pedestal. "Goodbye Jotunhiem." Baldur said in a singsong voice. That shot horror through Loki, making him roll onto his stomach, and try and push himself up. As much as he saw the frost giants as his foes, they were still in some ways his people. He didn't want them all killed, and it was just wrong in any case.

"Baldur, stop!" Thor yelled, and Loki forced himself off the floor. He didn't need Thor distracted by him while he had to deal with Baldur.

"Why should I? If I recall correctly, you were always bragging about how you would kill all the frost giants when you became king. Do you want to do the honors?"

"You cannot kill an entire race!" Thor exclaimed. _Well, this was new. _Loki mused. _Midgard seems to have done you good, brother. _Baldur lifted his arms, looking around.

"Why not? Why do you even care? They're frost giants, savages, don't you agree?" Baldur sneered, but Thor shook his head.

"You can't do this, I won't let you."

"You two were always so alike." Baldur hissed. "So stubborn!" He pulled Gungnir from the Bifrost, though it was frozen in place now, and lunged at Thor. Thor blocked with Mjolnir, beating Baldur back. Unlike Thor, Baldur had intent to kill, going at his eldest brother with everything he had. Loki slinked out of the observatory, trying to avoid the vicious fighting. But he didn't avoid Amora.

"Look who's still alive. Do you even know how to die?" She laughed.

"I know very well, thank you." Loki snapped back, hand now holding his side. She looked ready to kill him, when the Bifrost seemed to explode, sending them both flying backwards. Thor landed near Loki, who groaned in pain. Baldur and Amora fled, leaving with her magic, knowing that this was over. Thor pushed himself off the ground, trying to get to the Bifrost. He couldn't reach; there was no getting there. The force driving him back was too great. Gungnir was on the ground nearby, and Loki reached for it, and pulled himself to his knees, leaning heavily on his father's golden staff.

"Thor!" Loki cried. He couldn't stand, he was too far gone now. He'd failed to stop Baldur from killing all the frost giants, even to hidden one in Asgard. "Thor!" He yelled again, trying to shout over the wind and waves. Thor didn't respond, so Loki pushed himself off the ground. Thor was standing on the edge of the wind, leaning in. Then he did something that shocked Loki. He brought Mjolnir down on the bridge.

He was breaking the Bifrost.

"Thor! If you destroy it you'll never see her again!" Loki screamed. He'd watched Thor, when he had the time, asked Heimdal how he was. There was a woman, someone who in the short time he was there had claimed Thor's heart. Even as he cried, a voice whispered to Loki; _what choice does he have?_

There was a hitch in Thor's movements, showing that he had heard Loki. But both brothers knew the truth, there was no other way. Thor slammed Mjolnir down again, and the bridge began to shatter. One more blow and it broke, exploding and sending both brothers flying into the air once again. Loki saw nothing beneath him, only black. _ Oh Norns I'm going to fall into that. _

He cried out when everything jolted to a sudden stop. Looking up, he saw Thor hanging onto the other end of Gungnir, and Odin holding Thor up. But then he slid.

His hands, covered in blood, were sliding down the staff that was his lifeline.

"Loki!" Thor yelled, unable to help his brother. Loki's left arm hung at his side, unused due to the pain it caused him. Setting his jaw, Loki swung his arm up, grabbing higher up the staff, but his other hand slipped off, sending him sliding further down, closer to doom.

"Help." He asked, feeling his strength fade as he pulled at his wound. Thor pulled up with all his might, Odin helping to pull Thor onto the bridge. Once there, Thor extended his hand out to Loki. Once again, this time with a small grunt of pain, Loki swung his right arm upwards. Thor's strong hands grabbed his brother's wrist, pulling him bodily upwards and to safety. But when he was safe, Loki could not stand. His strength was gone; the last of it spent reaching for Thor. He just lay on the ground, chest heaving as he gasped for air, slipping into shock.

Thor was stunned when Loki collapsed, but he snapped back to reality fast and picked Loki up with one arm under his shoulders, holding him close to his chest, wincing as he felt the wetness of blood, and launching into the air with Mjolnir. Loki cried out at the rough treatment, but he couldn't for long, his strength and senses were leaving him fast.

By the time Thor got to the healing rooms, Loki had passed out, limp in Thor's arms. The elder brother dropped Mjolnir and slid his other arm under Loki's knees, carrying him to the rooms. Eir was binding some frostbite on one of the guards arms when Thor burst in. She dropped what she was doing, no trained healer's eye could miss so much blood. She tore the sheets off one of the beds, helping Thor lay his brother down on top of it gently as he could. Eir began to, quickly but full of care, take the bloodstained golden armor off of Loki's chest.

"What happened to him?" She asked, not seeing a blatant wound, just masses of bloodstains and blood flowing from his side.

"I don't know..." Thor whispered, looking over his brother. Had he missed all that blood, had Loki been hurt before, or afterwards? Now that he thought of it, Loki had looked pale and tired, leaning far too much on Gungnir. Thor was brought back to the present by Eir gasp.

"Oh no..." She said, pulling back the clothing she'd cut off of him. Thor saw the end of a knife, deep in Loki's chest. It made him sick. Had Baldur done that? It was his knife... Eir tried to pull it out, knowing it could not stay there. But it was so worked in, she couldn't remove it. "Thor, I need your help." She said. Thor stomach turned, but he moved next to her, wrapping the end of his fingers around what he could and pulling. Loki groaned as Thor took the blade out, and even more blood worked itself out of his weak body. There was so much blood, it seemed to coat everything. Eir pushed the stricken Thor out of the way, pressing a cloth desperately to the wound, trying to stop the flow. The cloth turned scarlet almost instantly, and Thor felt sick again. "Get a healing stone." She snapped at one of the other healers, who rushed off to find one. Thor sat down on another bed, staring blankly at his brother. Was Loki dying again? Was this it, again? He'd just gotten Loki back, why had he been such a fool! If he'd been here, none of this would have happened, or if the warriors three had stayed, or...

This was his fault. Loki was dying and it was his fault.

The young healer came back with at least five small healing stones, handing them to Eir. She took then, crushing the golden stones and pressing them onto Loki's wound. Even all five of them weren't enough to stop all of the blood flow. Eir knew he could not afford to loose any more. He was already so pale, his face and skin ashen. She pressed another cloth to Loki's side.

Slowly, the blood stopped, and Loki still breathed. It was shallow, but it was breath. Eir bound up the wound, and sat down in a chair beside him with an exhausted sigh.

"Is he going to be alright?" Thor asked, voice shaking as he looked at Loki.

"I think so. The next days will tell us." Eir replied, looking down at Loki. He had pushed his body much to far, it was a miracle he was even alive when Thor got him to her, so much blood had been lost. She was not very optimistic on his prospects of surviving, not after such abuse to his already frail body and spirit, but she would not let Thor on, he needed all the hope he could get. "Let him rest, he's lost a lot of blood. Other than that, he was lucky. The knife didn't injure any organs." She sighed, standing up slowly. Thor nodded, looking down at the bloody knife still in his hands, the knife that nearly killed his brother. How did it get in that far, so that it was unseen beneath Loki's clothes? How long had Loki had the wound, and yet still fought?

Odin and Frigga came to the rooms in turn, Frigga looking very worried for her son, but convinced by her husband and Eir to go and rest. Odin told Thor how the battle had unfolded, how Loki been injured, how the knife had gotten so deep in his chest. It shocked him, that Loki had shoved the blade further into his own body so that he could continue to fight, and then run around Asgard, stopping Laufey from killing his parents and then went to the Bifrost and helped Heimdal get Thor back to Asgard.

Everyone in Asgard had always hailed Thor's bravery and courage, but Thor knew he was not half so brave as his brother. Loki's courage had saved Thor's life many times, Thor saw that as he now looked back on his life with new eyes. Loki had always been there when Thor needed him. He was never missing in action, as Thor too often was. And yet he'd always allowed Thor to think, to believe that he did it all on his own. He had stood gladly in Thor's shadow all these years, not once complaining, never accusing Thor. He had ever been a silent and sure rock, braver than all the men who ever named him a coward.

And now Loki had saved Asgard, almost on his own. Sure, Thor came in at the last moment, but it was Loki who'd stopped Laufey from killing the king and queen, Loki who had released Heimdal so that Thor could come back at all. Without Loki's actions, Asgard would have fallen that day.

Loki had won the battle for Asgard.

* * *

**_This has to be the longest chapter I have ever written. To put it in perspective, it's longer than whole stories I have written. It just, would not stand to breaking up. I thought I would be late getting it up, but after a marathon editing session, here it is. If there are errors, I very sorry, and please feel free to point them out. Thanks to all the people who have reviewed, means a ton to me.  
_**


	11. Ch 10: No More Secrets

_**Chapter 10: No More Secrets**_

_We claim to be great warriors, fighting men who fight men's wars, but on the inside, we are all just scared children playing in our father's clothes._

* * *

_July 7, 2011 AD_

It was around mid morning when things changed, days later. Thor hadn't slept at all, watching his brother through the night every day. Eir had been encouraging at first, but Thor could tell she was growing more worried, and even solemn and sad, when nothing changed for two, then three days. What if Loki didn't wake up? To distract himself during the day Thor had talked a little with some of the guards, one in particular who had felt guilty. He'd been one of the two guards Loki sent to the Bifrost when he first got out of the throne room. They had been stopped by frost giants, the other guard dying in the fray. He was a young man, perhaps half Thor's age. It was the first battle he'd seen, so he was more than a little shell-shocked. He couldn't sleep the first night. Eventually, Thor had talked to the boy long enough that he did finally rest, but Thor could find no such solace, and the silence of the nights made things even worse.

When dawn on the fourth day came, and Loki's condition had not changed, Thor's worry reached a boiling point. He was going to start doing drastic things if Loki didn't wake up soon. In his distress, the crown prince had taken to nagging Eir.

"My lord, there is _nothing_ I can do." Eir said, trying to focus on her work while Thor paced back and forth behind her. Mixing potions was difficult work, and Thor's fretting was not helping her concentration.

"There must be something."

"No, there is not." Eir returned, trying to keep her irritation down. It would do no good to yell at the prince. "He lost a lot of blood, and his body was not ready for combat to begin with. Let him rest, give him time to heal." Thor sighed, but sat back down by Loki's beside, taking on of the cold, pale hands in his own and holding it to his head.

As he sat there, holding his brother's hand and watching his still face, he felt like he was watching Loki die. He felt like he was waiting for Loki to slip away again and it was agonizing. As much as he held out hope that Loki would be fine, just like he always was, fear seemed a much stronger emotion at the moment.

So, Thor nearly jumped for joy when he saw Loki's fingers twitch a little, his face tighten and his chest rise with fuller breath. That had always been a sign of Thor's little brother waking from a deep sleep. Thor was at Loki's side, (well, hovering over him) in an instant, looking for other signs of Loki waking up. He gripped the hand he held even tighter, as if willing Loki to wake.

"Loki?" Thor asked, expectant for an answer. Loki moaned, turning his head away from Thor, then back again. His eyes opened slowly and Thor's heart leapt in his chest. "Thank the Norns." He sighed.

"Scare you, did I?" Loki asked, though his voice was quiet and tired. Thor shook his head, unable to laugh at the words.

"You did, brother. I thought I'd lost you again. You slept for four days, Loki." Thor replied. Loki looked down for a moment, slightly ashamed.

"I thought Baldur killed you." Loki whispered. "I thought you were gone. It was horrible. I'm sorry Thor." Thor sighed, recalling how he'd battled the destroyer. He and all those with him had been so confused. Loki was the acting king, why was he attacking them? He'd begged Loki to stop, begged. But the destroyer had only backhanded him away, no care in the world. It had not occurred to him that Loki would be forced to watch, slumped against the throne while Baldur killed his brother, helpless to stop him. Thor stroked his brother's hair.

"It's alright, I'm fine. He didn't hurt me." Thor said. Loki heard the small lies but he didn't mind, it was comforting. How many times had he lied to comfort or help Thor? More than once, Loki knew. "How do you feel?"

"Tired. And my side is on fire." Loki mumbled. "Is everyone alright?"

"You are the only one of us who was injured." Thor replied. _Other than Baldur breaking my neck_, he mused. "Sif and the warriors three are fine as well."

"Good." Loki sighed, trying to push himself up, grimacing in pain. Thor helped him so that he could lean against the wall behind his bed. Loki sighed, closing his eyes and smiling. He was the picture of contentment. "I wonder if father has rescheduled your crowning." He sighed.

"You beat me too it." Thor laughed. "My whole life I've been looking forward to being king, and you do it first."

"I hope you're not jealous." Loki said, keeping his eyes closed. He was just so tired.

"Not at all. I hope father waits some time before trying to crown me again, I'm not ready for it." Thor said. Loki opened his eyes, staring at Thor as though he could not believe the words that had just come out of his brother's mouth.

"What is her name?" He asked. Thor frowned, not sure what Loki was talking about. "The little Midgardian who helped you, what is her name?"

"Jane." Thor whispered, looking down again. "I promised her I'd come back."

"Perhaps you will." Loki replied. Thor frowned, he knew that Loki knew the Bifrost was destroyed. "The Bifrost was built once, we can build it again. At any rate, I like her."

"You haven't met her." Thor protested.

"She changed you quickly, and changed you for the better. That's reason enough for me." Loki smiled at his brother. "The idea of you wanting to wait to get your throne is new, and very welcome."

"Why do I sometimes get the sense that you don't want me to be king?" Thor asked, though there was humor in his voice.

"You had your pride, Thor. Jane helped you get rid of some of it, and that is a good thing." Loki answered. "And, as I have told you many times, you are going to be a great king. And I do look forward to the day when you are that king." Thor smiled broadly at his little brother, who leaned back on the wall and closed his eyes once more. "Do I have to stay in here?"

"Yes you do." Eir said, crossing her arms and glaring at both of the princes. Loki pouted a little, turning his green eyes into sympathy creating pools. It was a look Eir had seen many times, and she was not as immune to it as she would have liked, but she hardened her jaw and stared him down.

"Eir, please…" She shifted her gaze to Thor, who was easier than Loki to deal with. Except when he was using those blue eyes of his. Goodness, what was it with this family and their eyes? Thor was fingering something in his lap, and gazing at her with those pleading eyes. "Just for a little while?" The head healer sighed, exastperated with the pair.

"Very well, but be _very _careful, alright? No walking on your own, no sudden movements, no over exerting yourself. Understood?"

"Yes, and thank you." Loki replied. Eir rolled her eyes and went back to her work. Loki looked down when something landed on his lap. One of his shirts sat there. With a quick, and confused, glance at Thor, who nodded to tell him to put the shirt on, Loki donned the green tunic and swung his legs over the side of his bed. Ignoring the fact that he was barefoot, he stood slowly, holding himself up with a hand on the bed. Thor slid an arm around Loki's chest, under his arms, careful of his wound.

"Don't even think about carrying me." Loki growled, making Thor laugh deeply. He shook his head, helping Loki walk out of the healing rooms.

* * *

Frigga stood up the moment the door opened, nearly running to embrace Loki when she saw him walking with Thor. Thor let his brother go as his mother wrapped him up in her own arms. She was gentle, careful not to hurt his wounded side. "You must stop this, Loki. It is not good for your mother's nerves." She whispered, pulling away so she could look at him. Loki was a bit paler than usual, mostly due to the volume of blood that had escaped him, which also contributed to his fatigue and lightheadedness. Other than that, he looked fine, as though nothing had happened. It soothed a good deal of Frigga's worry.

"I am sorry." Loki said.

"I know you were doing as you felt you had to. You have done well, Loki." Frigga smiled, trailing a hand down his cheek. Loki grinned back at her, trying to banish the tiredness from his mind. Looking past his mother, Loki spotted his father, who didn't look too much rested after his only two or three day long Odinsleep. "We were just eating, care to join us?" Frigga offered. Loki was happier for the seats than the food, but he wasn't about to decline the opportunity to eat something. He hadn't had much food during his short tenure as king, there had been far too much to do and worry about for him to work much of a decent appetite.

"Loki." His father's voice was deep and serious, which made Loki more than a little nervous. That voice never seemed to bring good news. "I understand that you had some trouble with the frost giants."

"Other than Baldur helping Laufey attack us, you mean?" Loki replied.

"Indeed."

"Well, they were less than happy about our incursion into their realm, but I assume Laufey was satiated by the prospect of attack. I think that his son, Helblindi I believe, is to be his successor."

"Do you think that negotiations can still be preformed, after Laufey's death?" Loki was unsure why his father was asking him all of this, and he wasn't sure about his answers. His mind was foggy and his thoughts slow and lacking a thread.

"Laufey attacked us, his death was in response to his actions." Loki said, then paused to think about the next part of his answer. "I think that Helblindi might be less aggressive than his father, but he will have to put on a stern face if he wants to keep power." Odin nodded. "But that is all a moot point, the Bifrost is gone. We could not speak with Jotunhiem even if we wanted to." Loki finished, and hoped someone else would take the conversation elseware.

"Father, you were not in the Odinsleep long, will you need to return to it?" Thor asked calmly. Loki raised an eyebrow at his elder brother, but the question was valid.

"It is a possibility, my son. However, due to the fact that he currently has more experience than yourself, Loki will be the one to take the throne should I need to do so." Loki nearly choked on his food when he heard that. Frigga didn't look at all surprised, and even Thor seemed to take the news with less intrigue than his little brother.

"Father…" Loki began, but Odin cut him off.

"I am not changing my chosen successor, however, Thor is not yet ready for the throne. You have proved yourself more than capable of holding Asgard together in a time of crisis, and as such are the better choice to rule in my stead." _I suppose that makes sense. _ Loki mused. Still, he had never expected to sit on the throne of Asgard, barring the death of his older brother, which was something he never dreamed of. Well, he'd had his nightmares. Regardless, he hoped it did not come to that, hopefully Father would be fine and Loki would never have to sit on that damned throne again.

Thor eventually left, leaving Loki alone with his parents. Apparently, they had something to talk to him about.

"Loki, I think you should tell him." For the second time that morning, Loki choked on his food, or rather his drink this time. There could be no misunderstanding his mother's soft-spoken words, Loki knew exactly what she wanted him to tell Thor. His darkest secret he'd promised himself he'd never tell a soul, the reason he was so skilled at lying, the greatest lie Asgard had never known. The origins of its second prince.

"No." Loki replied. Frigga sighed, but it was Odin who answered his curt response.

"Thor is changed as he has returned from Midgard, and he's changed since you saw him before. Your fear of his hatred is no longer founded." Loki narrowed his green eyes, and Frigga shook her head.

"No longer founded? My fears will _always_ be founded. Thor hates frost giants, and I have been _lying _to him his entire life. He will not be pleased, he will be angry and that anger will never fade and I will loose my brother. Thor cannot know, he can never know." Loki growled, glaring at his father. Sometimes things that man said made Loki wonder how exactly he was considered wise.

"Loki, your brother loves you-"

"He doesn't know me." Loki cut his mother off, making her eyes flash.

"Thor does know you Loki, and he loves you more than anything else in this world, more than the mortal he's met, more than us, more than Baldur. You were always special to him, Loki. I know we told you it was your choice whether or not to tell him, but I know that this will be better for you than you think, even if you are afraid." Frigga said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Loki's eyes drifted to the floor, he knew she was right. She was his mother, she was always right. But he was still afraid. What if Thor turned him away, what if nothing was ever the same, what if Loki lost the person who mattered more than anything else? The fear was the reason he had never told Thor, the thing holding him back. "Please Loki, stop this, you're hurting yourself."

"Loki, my son, you know that your mother and I love you, and I understand your fear in telling Thor, it has been justified all your life, but now is the time to let this secret go." Odin said, his voice taking Loki back to his childhood, days when he'd come to his father weeping and afraid that he was hated and despised, begging for comfort.

"Why _now_?" Loki asked.

"Because now Thor has changed, he has opened his eyes, and as such there should be no more secrets in this family, they have harmed us enough." Frigga said. Loki sighed, secrets had harmed his family, and lies had nearly torn it apart. He was afraid that this one last secret was the thing that would break them, but he supposed that could be wrong. Thor was changed now, even in the short times Loki had seen him. Perhaps now was the time to stop keeping the secret.

"I want to tell Thor, truly I do…but please, our family is on the brink as it is. Thor doesn't need his faith shaken again, so soon after all of this has happened." Loki said.

"Loki, do you know why I told you who you were when you were so young?" Odin asked. Loki frowned, he didn't understand what that had to do with anything. "I told you then because I knew a little more time would turn into years, years would become centuries, centuries would turn to millennia, and I would never tell you the truth." Loki looked down, shutting his eyes tightly. "There is no good time, Loki."

"But right now?"

"We are not telling you to speak to him, only giving you advice." Frigga said. "Is Thor not worthy of your trust, Loki?"

"Forgive if my trust is a little shaken, but I think I am entitled to it." Loki snapped, eyes flashing, but then he let out a breath, looking sadly away.

"He is trying Loki, we all are." Loki looked at his mother sadly. "Be brave, my child. I know you can, you may surprised at what comes." She was probably right.

No, she was definitely right. She was his mother, she was near incapable of being wrong.

"I…I'll tell him soon, when I feel better. I have to go back to Eir, excuse me." Loki left the room quickly, and his parents watched him go sadly.

* * *

_July 13, 2011 AD_

There was no fire burning in the great stone fireplace before which the crown prince of Asgard sat, staring blankly at the empty and polished alabaster. He didn't spend much time in his room, the only reason it was not a complete mess was because the servants picked up after him. But, life had been taking it's toll on him, both mentally and physically lately, only a week had passed since that battle over Asgard and three days since Loki woke from his coma. He needed a rest, and he was not finding it in the sparing rings or hunting, so now he was copying his younger brother, staying in his room and brooding his problems away. Thor looked up when he heard the very soft knock on his door.

"Come in." Thor said, listening as the door creaked open slowly. The creak was almost as old as he was, and a beloved part of his room, though it had caused some pain in recent years. It had developed when he was a child, and though he could have easily had it repaired, he'd never done so because it had served to alert him when Loki would creep into his room after a nightmare when they were young. Thor could barely stand the sound of it after Loki died, but the simple fact that Loki was making the door creak again brought great joy to Thor's heart.

But by the sound of the door, Loki was moving very slowly, which made sense, he was probably in pain still. Thor turned around, and saw Loki just closing the door, eyes firmly fixed on the floor. He looked nervous, though Thor had no idea what he could be nervous about.

"Loki, is something wrong?"

"Do you have any plans for today?" Loki asked, still looking at the floor. Plans, no, he didn't have any plans that he knew of.

"I'm not doing anything. Why?" Thor replied, though he was still seated in one of the large chairs around his fireplace. Loki sighed, shuffling his feet a little. He turned, slinking across the room, his movements painfully stiff as he lowered himself onto Thor's massive bed.

"I need to talk to you." Loki said. Thor was getting a little nervous himself; Loki was very somber and shaky looking, his words flowing out with none of their usual grace, a clear sign that he was _extremely _uncomfortable, for Thor's brother rarely lost his composure. He took a moment to gather himself, trying to figure out his words. "Thor, do you love me?" Thor frowned, not understanding why Loki was asking him.

"Loki what are you-"

"Just answer the question Thor." Loki snapped, making Thor jerk back a little.

"Of course Loki. You're my brother, my little brother. I will always love you, nothing will ever change that."

"And what if we weren't brothers?" Loki asked. Thor really didn't understand the line of questioning, but he didn't want to anger Loki, and answered.

"I would still, but what does it matter, we're brothers." Thor replied. Loki let out a shuddering sigh.

"But we're not." Thor frowned, trepidation and fear seeping into his mind. What was Loki talking about? "I am not your brother Thor. Not by blood." It took a moment for the thunderer to understand what he was being told. They were not blood brothers…they were not blood brothers? How was that even possible?

"Who are you?" It came out harsher than Thor meant, and he could see the hurt in Loki's down turned eyes.

"I…I'm your brother." Loki mumbled, unable to think of another tag for himself. "Aren't I?" Thor could hear the plea in the words, and nodded quickly.

"Of course Loki, always and forever. But, where are you from, how long have you known, why didn't you _tell me_?"

"I…I've always known. I didn't tell you because I was afraid. At first it was mother and father keeping the secret, but then they asked me what I wanted, and I was afraid to tell you." Thor frowned, but Loki continued, his next words making everything clear. "I'm a frost giant, Thor. I'm Laufey's son." Thor just stared at him brother blankly, unable to understand the bombshell dropped on him. Loki's hands moved from his legs to wrapping around his body, wringing into his clothes and hugging himself in a vain attempt to stop shaking, his green eyes boring into Thor as the glistened with frightened tears. Soon though, Loki could not hold the gaze, his head dropping down as his mouth opened and closed tensely, tears shaking off the end of his nose as a millennia of fears threatened to come into terrible reality. He looked so young, sitting there, so afraid, like the times he would come to Thor after a nightmare, eyes glassy as tears streaked down his ivory face. Thor's heart reached out to him, but the prince's body was rooted to the spot, he could not move.

Laufey's son.

How? How? Why and _how_?

Thor became aware that Loki was speaking again, telling him something important.

"…too small, you see. A runt. Frost giants kill the runts, and Laufey left me to die in the cold. Father found me, and changed me to become like an Asgardian, took me home and raised me like a son. But they told me who I was, though sometimes I wish they hadn't." Loki sighed. "Thor…please don't hate me."

"Hate you?" Thor whispered slowly. "I could never hate you. You're my brother, I love you. I just told you nothing will change that, those words were no lie." Loki didn't move, tear streaked face breaking Thor's heart. He finally stood, joining Loki on the edge of his bed, putting an arm around the shaking shoulders. "I can understand why you never told me, why you were afraid. With all of my words about the frost giants…oh Norns, I've called my own brother a savage, I threatened you nearly every single day. I'm so sorry Loki." Thor whispered, the full weight of what he must have put Loki through for their whole lives crashing down on his shoulders. How had Loki taken it, how had he not snapped in two for all the agony it must have caused? How must he have hated himself, after always being the very thing that every warrior of Asgard sought to destroy? Oh Norns, it was terrible.

"You didn't know, you couldn't have known." Loki replied. "I had mother and father, they knew." Loki whispered as Thor pulled his little brother close, the elder resting his chin on his younger sibling's head as Loki leaned into him.

"That doesn't make it alright. Oh Norns, I am such an awful brother. You've always been so good to me Loki, when you have every reason to hate me."

"Never seemed right to hate you, you're always there when I need you to be, Thor. You always were, even if you were a bit of an oaf at times. You still let me crawl into your bed when I had a nightmare, even after mother told us we were to old for such things, you defended me when people mocked me, you got me out of the field of battle alive, you picked me up when I fell, you brought me back from death itself. You've been a wonderful brother." Loki sighed. "Do you still love me, even if all of Asgard believes me a monster?"

"Yes." Thor replied, trying to shove every once of sincerity he had into that one word. "You do not think you are monster, do you Loki?"

"I did once, but no longer. I am not a monster, monsters do not sacrifice themselves for those they love." Loki said, and Thor smiled sadly.

"I still love you Loki. Where you are from, or what your race is, or who your parents were, it is of no consequence to me. You are Loki, you are my little brother. Nothing changes that." Loki let out a shaky breath, and leaned fully onto Thor, feeling his big brother's enormous arms wrap around his shaking, thin frame. He felt lighter now, like a burden was gone.

His mother was right. She usually was.

"No more secrets Thor. I promise." Loki whispered, uncurling his stiff and sore body as Thor held him close. He felt like a child again, like Thor comforting him from a nightmare, and it had been a nightmare, the nightmare of this enormous lie that stood between them. But it was gone now. No more secrets, not more lies. This was good.

* * *

_August 3, 2011_

Loki knew where his brother had vanished to. For the past weeks, this place had become Thor's most common haunting ground. Usually, Loki left him alone out there, at the edge of space, left him to think and swim through his own troubles, Loki would be where he ever was, if Thor needed him. Usually, Loki left Thor to stand above the black alone. But today, Loki had had enough. Today, he was going to talk to Thor, today he was going to make sure that, with all that had happened in recent times, Thor was alright. He was going to be Thor's support system, just like he always was.

Blackness swirled beneath Thor as he stared down; out over the shattered edge of the Bifrost, the remnants of his action to rescue what was left of Jotunhiem. Still felt a bit strange to think about that. Thor glanced over his shoulder when he heard the sound of a horse's footfalls behind him, coming to a slow halt and the light thud of the rider dismounting. Loki patted his horse's muzzle before walking over to Thor, standing over the shattered edge of the Bifrost Bridge. His wounds from the battle were all but gone now; no ugly scar reminders would be left behind, the Æsir never scarred. Loki looked over the edge of the chasm, down into the black he had nearly fallen into no more than a few weeks earlier. Thor had taken to spending time there, watching the black.

"You miss her, don't you?" Loki asked. "Jane, was it?"

"Aye, Jane." Thor replied. "And I do miss her. I love her."

"So you have told me." Loki sighed. "I have reason to believe you, and I think the sentiment is most definitely returned. But you are here and she is there."

"There are other ways..." Thor trailed off, looking to his brother, hoping Loki would do him a favor and take him to earth.

"Yes...but I cannot take you. You'd never get back, you'd be trapped there." Loki replied, shaking his head. "And though you might rather be trapped there and here at the moment, we rather need you here, so if you would please, stay. Do not ask me..."

"I won't." Thor answered. He didn't want to put pressure on Loki, make him feel as though he was refusing Thor something, Loki hated being torn between loyalties, look where it had gotten him before. "You would like her, you know, and she you. I hope you get to meet some day."

"Why is that?" Loki asked.

"Because she is very clever, and not just for a mortal. She is a scientist, Loki, and a good one. She saw the Bifrost, she was studying it, that's how she found me. She knew what it was, she figured it out." Loki raised his eyebrows.

"Really?" He asked.

"Really! And, rather like you, half of what she says goes far over my head. I think you would be far better for her research than I am, when I was talking to her I was busy trying to recall all you told me of the nine realms and how Yggdrasil works." Loki laughed, shaking his head slightly. "It's so complicated, I fear she understood more of what I was saying than I did!"

"Well if you had paid attention when we were little, you would not have this problem." Loki countered.

"Nonsense, I had more important things to do."

"Like what?"

"Like learning to fight and do battle and be a great warrior of Asgard!"

"Oh, you mean be an oaf?"

"Loki!" Thor's voice was almost a whining yell, but Loki was too busy laughing at his brother to care too much. "You are insufferable."

"Oh, big words Thor. Don't hurt yourself."

"Come on Loki!" Thor grumbled, then looked at his brother for a moment, who was shaking his head and laughing quietly. Loki yelped when Thor suddenly grabbed him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Thor had taken to doing it ever since Loki was revived, as if to ensure that Loki was there, and he was solid that it wasn't some apparition or cruel dream. The younger didn't mind in the least, he loved to be in Thor's arms, he felt safe there, and he understood that it was Thor ensuring that Loki was there, and that Loki knew nothing had changed between them. He returned the embrace, though much lighter than the crushing force of his brother.

"Thor, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." Loki whispered, and got a breathy 'I know' in reply. "Then would you kindly let me breathe, please?" Thor relaxed his hold slightly, but still didn't let go. His head leaned down on Loki's shoulder and Loki frowned as he felt wetness there. Thor was crying, why was he crying?

"What's wrong?" Loki asked quietly.

"I don't deserve you, brother. I'm no where near good enough." Thor's shoulders shook as he held onto Loki. "Please, don't ever leave me."

"Of course not, Thor." Loki replied. He didn't argue Thor's first words, he'd tried once but Thor was to busy dwelling on how poor of a brother he felt he was, looking back on a childhood full of unintended scorn and hurt and Thor could not help but feel awful. Loki had forgiven his brother for those unknown slights, he couldn't afford to dwell on them all his life, he loved his brother and holding onto such things would cripple him, make him hate and resent all those around him.

Thor, as he now knew Loki's true heritage, was beginning to understand his brother much better. Loki had developed his forgiving nature at a young age, because he had to, grudges would wound him so much, that Loki had learned it was best for him to forgive. Loki looked at everyone as equal despite where people were from because if he placed too much value on that, he would despise himself, think himself a monster. Loki spent less time in the rings because it was where the most shots were fired about frost giants, he preferred to be alone or only with his friends because he knew they cared about him, that they didn't mean to insult him, that they would never say such things if they knew. It made sense now why he disliked feasts, why he hated attention because he feared they would know. Thor understood now why Loki always let him have the credit, because then Loki could disappear, become the wind beneath Thor's wings, in a way.

And Thor knew he had done so little to deserve such devotion from his younger sibling. But, for Loki, what he had done was more than enough.

Finally, Thor released his brother, rubbing his eyes with one arm as he did.

"Has Midgard changed much since our last visit?"

"Our last visit was nearly a millennia ago, I should say it has changed greatly! They have these great metal contraptions to get around in, Jane hit me with one twice." Thor laughed slightly at his brother's face as Loki shook his head. "I was in her way, these things are difficult to stop. They also have a number of strange things used to make food, and many strange, but delicious foods. Pop tarts are good." Thor mumbled the last few words.

"I hope Volstagg didn't eat them out of house and home."

"Didn't have time, the destroyer attacked almost right after they arrived." Thor replied.

"I'm still sorry about that." Loki said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You had nothing to do with that."

"I could have avoided being stabbed, that might have done something." Loki mused aloud, gazing out at the black before them.

"Will you stop? At any rate, it gave me my power back and allowed me to help you, so I am grateful for it snapping my-". Thor stopped short, but Loki already knew what happened. "I'm just glad we're both alright. And I hope Baldur never shows his face again."

"Still feels so wrong, to cut ties with him. He was our brother, once." Loki mumbled.

"I know, but the Baldur we knew and loved has been slain by a monster than wears his face." Thor growled. "He has nearly destroyed this family, and shown no remorse for his actions. I do not think we can afford to pity him any longer."

"Part of me will never give up some small hope." Loki replied. Turning to Thor.

"I suppose I am the same. That is the difference between us and him." Thor sighed. "And now we are getting much to serious."

"You mentioned the destroyer." Loki replied, his tone growing lighthearted once more. Thor chuckled and shook his head.

"That I did."

"Go to the sparring rings, hitting something always seems to cheer you right up. I'll join you, if you like." Thor brightened when Loki said he would join, but then darkened as he thought.

"Are you well enough to spar?"

"Thor, I have been in some very real fights lately, I think that it hardly matters anymore what anyone thinks I can do, I won't hurt myself and I am so out of practice it's sad. Besides, my magic is coming back once more and I really don't want to loose any skill in that." Loki's reply satisfied Thor, who in reality had missed sparring matched with his brother more than nearly anything else. The times Loki joined his friends were rather few, he preferred to watch them while reading something, or maybe hole himself up in the library, he'd gotten teased too much for using a short sword.

* * *

"You _are_ out of practice." Sif said, pulling Loki off the ground for perhaps the third time that day. The prince dusted himself off, letting out a long sigh. "Tired?"

"Frustrated." Loki replied. Luckily, the sparring grounds were mostly empty, only a few others besides Thor, Loki and their friends. Thor was busy with Volstagg and Hogun nearby, while Fandral was taking a break and Sif was sparing with Loki.

"Don't get too upset, your doing fine."

"And now I feel like a student, thank you Sif." Sif frowned at him.

"No need to get nasty, Loki. In case you forgot, you were dead three months ago, so cut yourself some slack. You're still better than half of Asgard."

"Hey! I resent that!" A voice called from above them. The ring they were in was sunken down, as most of them were to prevent the spreading of too much dust on dry days, the pits surrounded by low walls, about half the height of the typical Æsir, so that the walls went to about head height from the inside, to chest height when standing outside, so that one could climb in or out at will, but never fall in. Sif looked over her shoulder to see two young warriors standing there, one trying to hide as the other glared at them.

"The young and the reckless." Loki whispered, making Sif snort in laughter. "What are your names?" He called up to them.

"I'm Cenric, and my friend is Katla." Katla peeked over the wall at the sound of his name, waving at the prince and warrior below. By this point, they had attracted Thor's attention as well, which only served to bolster Cenric's bravado. "He's from Vanaheim, but I'm a true Asgardian." Loki raised an eyebrow and Thor grumbled something under his breath. He'd not seen this particular youngling before, and he knew most of the guards around the palace. Perhaps Thor knew him, but it was no matter, he could ask later.

"And what, exactly, were you resenting?" Sif asked.

"That you seem to think the little prince a kitchen knife and some fancy tricks can beat a real warrior with his blade." Cenric said, and the uncomfortable moaning of his friend could be heard as Katla slinked back beneath the barrier. Loki raised an eyebrow and turned to Sif with a wry smile on his face. He'd gotten jeered at by his peers before, but as he'd gotten older the insults were less blatant, and it was rare that someone younger than him would say such things to his face. He was accustomed to hearing all sorts of things when no one thought he could hear, but this… the boy was beyond arrogant, foolish. He clearly held no regard for Loki's title, or the fact that he could be hauled into the dungeons just for his words. But Loki was no one to hide behind his title. This boy needed to be taken down a few notches. Thor growled, gripping Mjolnir and stalking over, but Loki stopped him with an arm across his brother's chest.

"Firstly, this is a short sword. Secondly, is that a challenge?" Loki asked calmly, voice easy and level. Cenric thought for a moment, and then replied.

"Yeah, it is." Loki nodded, motioning for the young warrior to come into the ring. Thor and his friends smiled, and backed away. This young warrior was about to learn the cost of biting off more than he could chew, and of judging someone based on old rumors.

"How quickly do you think it will go?" Sif whispered. "I give him a minute."

"I give him less." Thor chuckled. The swordsman was young, perhaps having just come of age and far less than half Loki's age, and thus far less experienced. He was also too young to remember the days prior to Loki's execution, and this could be the first time he had seen the younger prince, and thus didn't know just how fast and vicious a fight with Loki could be.

Katla couldn't force himself to watch as his friend began to fight the younger prince of Asgard. There was no denying that Cenric was a fine fighter, but he was not the best. Loki was not Asgard's greatest warrior, he made no claims of the sort, but he was easily among the top ten warriors of the golden realm. The vicious combination of magic and blinding speed made Loki nigh untouchable when sparring, and even out of practice and half-healed, he was a force to be reckoned with. Cenric was outmatched. As Thor had predicted, Cenric found himself beaten and on the ground before a minute was up. Loki stooped over to pull him up, but Cenric had one last blow to give the prince. He kicked up at Loki, catching him unawares and landing a harsh, powerful blow on his stomach.

Loki yelled, falling over rather quickly, and his friends were out of their seats in an instant, Thor running to Loki and Sif lambasting Cenric with her spear. Loki was gasping for air on the ground, holding his stomach. The boy had kicked him where Baldur had stabbed him, and even if the wound was healed, it wasn't ready for that sort of abuse. The kick would have knocked the wind out anyone, and coupled with a freshly healed wound the pain had been pretty severe.

"I'm sorry!" The boy exclaimed, putting his hands up. "I thought a prince of Asgard could take a kick to the stomach, I was wrong!" Sif was about ready to stab the man for the remark.

"Shut up Cenric, you're making it worse!" Katla cried from the outside of the ring. "Just walk away." With a snarl, the dirty blond haired boy shoved Sif's hands off him and clambered out of the ring, stalking off and leaving his friend behind.

"Sorry... It's his parents mostly... He's really not that bad... Sometimes." He tried to explain. "His father… it's a long story."

"Hamig, that was his father, right?" Loki asked from his seated position on the ground. Katla looked shocked but nodded. "Looks just like his father, that boy. Acts like him too." Loki sighed and shook his head.

"Take my advice, Katla. Find better friends." Thor growled, helping his brother up off the ground. Katla nodded and walked away with his still senseless friend. "Are you all right brother?"

"Fine, just didn't see that coming." Loki breathed, standing up shakily and steadying himself. "I think I'll take a break, if you don't mind."

"Who is Hamig?" Fandral asked, helping Loki as he pulled himself laboriously out of the ring and into the seats. Loki let out a long sigh as he settled onto one of the stone benches.

"Hamig was a solider with me last time we went to Vanahiem, to fight the marauders there. He was a good man, if a little arrogant and foolhardy. There is a fine line between bravery and reckless stupidity, and he was on the wrong side of that line. It was night, we weren't sure where the marauders were, I told everyone to stay in the confines of the camp, not to go out unless absolutely necessary." Loki blinked, averting his eyes as he rubbed his sore side. "Hamig… he went scouting. He had the best of intentions I'm sure, but he told his friends not to tell me. One of them came anyway, when Hamig hadn't made it back for too long. Middle of the night. I went out looking with his friends, we found a trail and the site of a scuffle. They'd taken him. They all wanted to go right then, but I didn't want to risk going in the night, said to wait till morning. By the time the fighting was over… when we got to their camp… Hamig was dead. It wasn't pretty." Loki shifted his weight a little.

"They blamed you." Fandral said quietly.

"Said I would sit planning while my men died. I did what I thought was right… I would have gone in after him on my own if I knew they'd have killed him by morning. Of course that doesn't matter to his friends, or his wife, or son."

"That campaign… wasn't long before…"

"Aye. Cenric wasn't born yet, but she was just pregnant. Hamig was always bragging about it." Loki laughed bitterly. "They aren't the only ones who blame me."

"It isn't your fault." Fandral said.

"Isn't it? If I'd gone, Hamig would be alive, Cenric would have a father."

"You can't know that anymore than you could have known what would have happened. It's not your fault." Fandral put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Forgive yourself, alright? His blood is not on your hands, it is on the hands of those who killed him." Loki nodded slowly. "Best thing you can do for Cenric is give him a good example to look up to. That shouldn't be too hard for someone like you." Loki smiled and looked to his friend.

"Thank you."

"Well, it was always you giving me advice all these years, I think it is high time I return the favor."

* * *

Thunder cracked outside again, as the rain poured down in droves outside the comfort of the indoors, so hard that it could be heard clearly pounding on the roves above the peoples heads. This was one of the storms that Thor was to blame for, hence it's uncommon ferocity. Loki's brother was in a sour mood, and that had more than a little to do with the sparring match gone wrong from that afternoon. Thor had calmed down since then, but the storm he had kicked off still raged on outside, so Loki found himself in his room once more, flipping through an old spell book as he sat alone by a small fire in the marble fire place of his room. He knew all the spells in the book, but he was just brushing up and living some nostalgia. He was still a bit sore from the days events, and didn't really feel like doing anything after dinner, there was nothing much to do anyway.

When he saw he door open out of the corner of his eyes, he expected Thor to come in, but it wasn't Thor. It was his father. Loki closed his book and put it in his lap slowly, looking up to watch his father come into the room. He was carrying something with him, steps slow as he closed the door behind him.

"What is that?" Loki asked.

"You will find out soon, son." Loki shifted in his seat slightly, uncrossing his legs and setting his book aside. Odin had been making the effort to repair the relationship between himself and his son since he'd woken from his sleep, something Loki was grateful for.

"It's not my name day, that's in a year or so." Odin smiled lightly, and shook his head, still standing. "Did you want to sit down or is this a short visit?"

"Short, there are some diplomats that arrive tonight. And before you ask, no I do not need your help, Thor is helping me." Loki raised an eyebrow. "He has to learn at some point, allies will be insulted if they are received by the prince and not the king." Odin explained.

"Perhaps you should have started a little younger?" Loki suggested.

"Until you have children of your own, Loki, do not lecture me on how to raise mine. I am still your father, no matter how many times you have been right lately." Loki shrugged and gave his father an innocent grin.

"Short visit, Father?"

"Ah, yes." Odin looked at what he had brought. "I think it is time I return what I took from you." Loki looked down at himself, comically patting his chest as if searching for injuries.

"I'm alive..." Odin looked down at the left-handed jab, and shook his head. Loki looked away, regret panging at the back of his mind for his foolish words. He was trying to fix this, his father already felt guilty enough; he didn't have to keep heaping it in the king's face. Being vindictive would only serve to harm him, not his father. That was the funny thing about forgiveness; the person it truly freed was the forgiver, not the forgiven.

"I destroyed many things of yours, what your mother and brother were unable to rescue from my wrath. I believe it is time I replace them, as much as I can." Loki frowned as he father handed him the package, took it and slowly opened it. In side there was a short sword, sheathed in a black leather scabbard, single hand, hitless handle made of nuumite stone, black color shined to a mirror polish, flecks of gold and green peaking out at him as the light played with them, the pommel holding the stone in placed bore a small, circular knot, another adoring the point where blade met handle. Etched into the leather sheath was his name in runes, _Loki, Son of Odin, Prince of Asgard_ burned into the black surface to mark it as his and his alone. Loki couldn't help but stare at it for a moment, a thing of beauty even without the blade shown. Slowly, almost as if he was afraid, Loki pulled the sword out of its scabbard, revealing a polished black blade, shining as the hilt was. There was no filigree dancing on it, though it was no doubt a beautiful thing, but it was a warrior's weapon, meant to be used, not hung on a wall and admired. Everything about the feel and balance of the weapon was perfect, and Loki could feel the thrum of magic in it, like when he got close to Mjolnir. Loki turned to where his father still stood, stock still, waiting for Loki's response.

" A simple thank you doesn't seem to suffice, but it is all my tongue can come up with." Loki whispered, laughing slightly. "Thank you Father. For all you have done for me, thank you." A small, worn smile wisped across Odin's face, only a glimpse and ghost of smiles Loki remembered from days now long past. Loki's heart ached for his father; he seemed to have lost all of his hope, all of his joy, stolen away by the spite of his youngest son and the strife of age and war.

"I must go." Odin said, moving to the door.

"Father." Loki's voice made him pause, turn back slight so he could see his son's face, glassy green eyes shinning there with pure sincerity. "Never doubt that I love you."

Odin hitched for a moment, unsure what to do. His son, the son he had chosen when he'd found him in the frozen ice, not the son gained in the bid for an heir during war, not the unexpected gift late in life, the one he _chose_. His son was always so good with words. Those words, so often said between the two, now spoken in reverse, from son to father. Loki smiled as his father nodded slightly, and ducked out of his room. With a sigh he put the gift away, and held it in his lap, closed his eyes, and let a few tears sneak out.

But for the first time in a long time his tears were no tears of anguish or pain, no tears of desperation or of defeat.

They were tears of joy.

* * *

**_Second to last chapter... I can't believe I made it this far. Any way, for those of you who have stuck through this long, a big thank you. I may or may not put the last chapter up today, if not it will be here tomorrow. Why? Because I'm going on a cruise and will be unable to update. _**

**_You're almost done! You should celebrate! I know I am._**


	12. Epilogue: Time Flows Ever Onward

_**Epilogue: Time Flows Ever Onward**_

* * *

_One year later… May 3, 2012 AD_

Green and gold flashed in a great arc outward, curving towards its target like a living blade of light, dancing in the moonlight. The target leapt out of its path, bowing out of the way and slicing through the second with a vicious slash of a sword. Dust kicked up as feet hit the ground, swirling up like a sliver-black cloud in the darkness of night. Two knives dug into the stone behind their mark's head, making the warrior scramble out of the way, and bring a sword smashing down on the ice that shot towards them. With a yell, they slipped onto their back, skidding on ice that coated the dirt of the sparing ring.

"Loki! That is not fair!" Fandral exclaimed, thrusting his sword into the ground to gain some traction. He froze at the tell tale chill in the air, more ice was coming. He had no footing on the ice beneath his feet, but still tried to block the oncoming blow, only to find himself on his backside once more. He heard footfalls nearby, an struck out with his leg, finding pay dirt as his opponent cried out in surprise and joined him on the ground. Fandral got up first, placing the point of his sword on Loki's chest. "Yield?" In the new moon darkness, Fandral couldn't see the smirk on his opponents face, but simply found him gone, and then trapped with Loki's sword to his neck.

"Do you?" Fandral dropped his sword and Loki released him.

"Can you get rid of the ice, please?"

"Already gone." Loki answered, lighting one of the torches around the grounds and pulling himself out of the sunken dirt ring. Fandral picked up his sword and sighed.

"Thank the Norns that the rest of Jotunhiem is not so capable or clever with their power as you are." The blonde warrior grumbled, sheathing his weapon and joining Loki on one of the stone benches in the training grounds. "Why is it always me who does these midnight training sessions with you?"

"Sif needs her sleep, Volstagg's wife would suspect things, and Hogun is less fun." Loki answered with a small smile, conjuring some water for both of them to drink.

"What about Thor?"

"Too loud." Loki replied with a smile. Fandral laughed quietly.

"Aye, he'd wake up half of Asgard. Can't have that, can we?" Loki shook his head. "Well, I do think I've gotten better. Nearly beat you this time."

"If I remember correctly, it was you who was always beating me when we first began this little practice." Loki said quietly.

"Yes, well that was a long time ago, you were still recovering from injuries and… other things." Fandral replied. Loki shrugged. "This is freezing." Fandral said, looking at the clear liquid in the glass Loki had given him.

"Melted ice, held in ice. I should think it's cold."

"Refreshing." Fandral smiled. "Though not so much as a good flagon of meade."

"I am not coming with you to that confounded tavern." Loki snapped.

"Oh come now Loki, that was ages ago, you have grown in your tolerance for alcohol since those days."

"Still embarrassing." Loki grumbled under his breath, and then grabbed Fandral's mug from him, making the blond give a cry of indignation. He had it back in his hands before a moment was out, now full of meade instead of water. "You're welcome."

"If only the rest of Asgard knew the benefits of having a sorcerer as a friend, you'd be the most popular person in Asgard!" Fandral exclaimed, drinking the meade, which was quite good.

"I'd rather not have the attention." Loki mused.

"Right, frost giant." Fandral said, as if just remembering that the prince who sat beside him was in fact, of Jotun blood.

It had only come at mountains of urging from Thor, the warriors three and Sif learning of who Loki truly was. It had been shocking to all of them, but it had also become a sort of massive joke. Well, perhaps joke was not the correct word...it was nothing to laugh at, but in truth it held little meaning to any of them. It made Loki a little uncomfortable at first, and it was easy to tell he was nervous about what telling them would do to his friendships, but much to his relief, the truth had hardly changed things. As Volstagg had put it, they knew Loki and knew he was no savage monster, what did it matter where he was from, he was their trusted friend. So he was a frost giant, what did it matter. He had always been a frost giant, whether or not they knew, the mere knowledge should not change things. So what if he was not Æsir, he was still _Asgardian._

Of course, it still took some wrapping the mind around, the truth of Loki's heritage and the implications that came with it. It was also a bit enlightening, and helpful. At least they knew why Loki had a severe aversion to fire and heat, why he loved the colder months that nearly everyone else despised after a few weeks of the chills. Also, it had let them onto why he was weaker than they, because there was essentially something wrong with him on the biological level, making him smaller and weaker than all others of his kind. It also explained some of his personality that had been difficult to understand, even for all the years they'd known the second prince.

"Sorry."

"Huh?" Loki looked at Fandral, ebony eyebrows raised in confusion. "Sorry, sorry for what?"

"Called you a frost giant."

"I _am_ a frost giant. I fail to see what you're apologizing for." Loki smiled. "It doesn't make me uncomfortable, Fandral, who I am. Nervous, scared people might discover who I am, of course, but I'm not ashamed of who I am. You mentioning that I am a frost giant is of no consequence to me." Fandral sighed and shook his head.

"I fear I will never fully understand how your mind works."

"I don't understand how my mind works, Fandral. You should not expect to." The prince replied with a soft smile on his face. "Please, it's been near half a year since I told you, stop walking on eggshells. If you keep it up, I shall have to erase your memory and resume lying to you." Fandral chuckled, knowing Loki was not serious, but the request to stop being gentle rang true.

"I am sorry, I merely do not wish to accidentally offend you."

"Don't call the frost giants savages and monsters, that's all I ask of you. Other than that, feel free to speak as you wish. Believe me, I have received far worse." Fandral winced at the thought, though he had always known it to be true. Even if Thor was present, Loki was the butt of plenty of mean-spirited jokes and insults, if Thor wasn't there it got even worse. And when Loki was alone, well, Fandral could only guess what sort of things he may have suffered. And yet he still cared for the people who had done nothing but despise him his whole life. It never ceased to make Fandral's head spin, ever made him regard his friend with a sense of wonder.

"Done for the night my prince?" Loki smiled at the formal tone of Fandral's question, but nodded.

"Indeed, see you in the morning?"

"Tis morning already. Speaking of which…" Fandral grabbed his bag and began to dig around in it before turning sheepishly to Loki. "Little light, if you don't mind." Loki smiled and gave a small laugh, conjuring a light with a twitch of his fingers. Fandral smiled and went back to rummaging through his bag, before he produced a small, wooden box. "Happy name day, Loki." Fandral smiled broadly and laughed, while Loki merely raised one of his ebony eyebrows in confusion. "I've been waiting forever to say that." The blond warrior sighed, handing Loki to box. "Go on, open it!"

"Typically gifts are given all at once." Loki said, puzzling over the small box. "Fandral, how does this open?"

"That is for me to have no clue on, and you to find out. It's a puzzle box, and I promise there is something inside, but you'll have to open the box first." Fandral crossed his arms and leaned back, looking very pleased with himself. Loki scowled.

"Clever you." He droned, but Fandral knew by simply looking at the young prince he was already picking apart how to open it. Besides, he had to being enjoying it somewhat, there was nothing stopping him from simply magicking it open. "Too late at night for this now. I'll figure it out tomorrow." Loki sighed, whisking the gift off to his magician's closet. "Thank you Fandral."

"You're welcome. See you in a few hours."

"Aye, you as well. If I get up at all."

* * *

_May 4, 2012 AD_

"So, how was midnight training?" Loki moaned and turned over in his bed at the sound of his brother's voice, pulling the silk sheets over his head in a vain attempt to hide from the morning. "That bad?"

"'M tired. Go away." Loki mumbled, not wanting to come out from his golden cocoon. Thor chuckled and grabbed the sheets away from his brother. "Thor! Give them back you insufferable oaf!"

"Only you would be this upset on your name day."

"I think you're more excited about it than I am."

"It is the first time I can actually celebrate your name day in 369 years, Loki." Thor said quietly, sitting down on the side of his brother's bed. Loki pushed himself out of his curled up position, running a hand through his hair. "Of course I'm excited." Loki sighed, closed his eyes and fell back on his bed with a grunt.

"Your gift to me can be five extra minutes." Thor's eyes fell, and then lingered on his brother's bare chest, or rather what lay in the center of it. The remains of the wound that had taken his life, a small scar just to the right of his heart. Æsir never, ever scarred, the only scar Thor had was from a wound that had nearly killed him, and even now it was faint and hardly visible, he had to point it out if it was to be seen, though the wound that made it had stretched clear across his back.

Loki's scar was a haunting reminder of what had happened to him, Thor sometimes wondered if it pained him, though it didn't seem to. Loki's strength and health was fully returned by now, his magic back to its normal state, there was nothing wrong with him, no lingering effects for him to suffer. Besides of course the ongoing awkwardness of having been dead for 368 years. Of course, that had died down when their father, and Thor and Loki with him, began to change the story a little, changing execution to imprisonment, claiming that Loki had been stuffed away all these years, not dead. It worked well enough, a much easier story to believe than the truth and most everyone (except for the people of Asgard, who knew the truth) drank it without question. It was one secret all Asgard was sworn by honor to keeping, and they were doing a fine job.

"Stop staring." Loki's voice broke Thor out of his thoughts. "It's only a scar."

"I know, I'm sorry." Loki waved his brother's apology off, and then let out an exasperated sigh. He rolled himself off the bed and wandered over to the wardrobe on the far wall, grabbing a simple green shirt and pulling it over his head, then running his hands through his hair to smooth it down.

"Happy?" He asked, turning to Thor.

"That was fast." Thor chuckled, getting up on from the edge of Loki's bed. He wasn't dressed as casually as Loki, who was clearly still tired from the practice he'd had the night before, but he wasn't wearing any armor, only simple blue pants, grey boots and a red shirt. Loki didn't even bother with shoes. It was his name day, everyone else could deal with it, he was not in the mood to dress nicely.

"Taking a few hints from you." Loki mumbled. Thor shrugged and motioned for Loki to follow him out of the room.

"Come on, time for breakfast." Loki followed Thor quietly, grabbing a pair of boots and a jerkin on his way out. He supposed he could at least look presentable for breakfast. Thor couldn't help laughing as Loki hopped along, pulling his boots on while trying to keep up with his older brother. It confused Thor sometimes, that Loki could just use magic to dress, but instead he went about it as most people did. Then again, that was not the strangest thing Loki did. Once he finished pulling on his boots, Loki fixed the open leather jerkin he'd grabbed, and began to roll of the selves of the emerald shirt beneath.

"I have to wonder, what is my age, really?" Loki mused, fusing with one of his selves. Thor gave him a quizzical look, but Loki explained. "Am I 740, or am I 1108? Are we going to count 368 missing years, does my body count them?"

"I'm counting them." Thor said, looking his brother over. "And you look the same age as me still, I think your time away has been counted to your life." Loki shrugged.

"Just a thought." Loki mused.

"It's funny, half the gifts we have for you, we have waited so long to give you. Two name days in one, in a way." Loki frowned.

"You...you kept gifts for 368 years?" He asked. Thor nodded solemnly.

"I spent much of my time searching for something, anything, that could connect me to you. Anything that was yours, or that was supposed to be. Just couldn't bear to get rid of them I suppose." Loki slowed to a halt, staring at the floor.

"I'm sorry Thor. I'm so sorry." Thor frowned, stopping to look at his brother. "I never meant to hurt you. If I'd know the pain it would have caused...I never would have let myself die. I'm so sorry."

"Loki." Thor said, quietly, walking back to his brother and grasping his brother's thin shoulders with his callas hands. "Brother, I know you never meant to hurt us, you were doing what you thought you had to. You gave up everything for us, we could ask for no more from you than that. You were so brave, my brother. Please, don't ever feel you have to apologize for saving us."

"I can try." Thor laughed slightly at his brother's reply, and pulled him into a hug. He supposed it was the best he could ask for, and it was better than nothing. He released the smaller man, and pulled him along with one arm on the thin shoulders, before Loki ducked out from under him. Thor smiled as he walked side by side with his younger brother once more. It had been a year since Loki's return to Asgard, but the time of absence had been so long, there were still some terrifying moments, mornings where he woke and thought it all a dream, days where he was still surprised to see Loki wandering around the palace or watching him spar. He still had to do double takes. It was like that for all of them, but with time, each passing day made life easier.

Upon the princes arrival to the dining hall, Sif leapt to her feet, pointing at Loki triumphantly and casting her gaze towards the half-asleep Fandral.

"You got him up! Fandral, you owe me!" Sif exclaimed, holding her hand out to the dazed blonde warrior who looked just as tired as Loki, if a bit more haggard.

"You were making bets on whether I would get up?"

"You and Fandral always sleep late after new moons." Sif replied with a smirk, pocketing the money a begrudging Fandral gave her.

"How is it going by the way, getting better with that ice of yours?" Volstagg asked, though he was mostly seemed to be eagerly awaiting food.

"I should say he is. Bastard uses it to cheat." Fandral growled.

"It was not cheating."

"You coated the ground in ice! I couldn't walk!" Loki laughed at his friend's ire. Perhaps turning the ring into an ice rink was a low move, but it worked, and it was fun. Though, Fandral did have the right to be upset, he supposed.

"Hush, food is coming!" Volstagg said, pointing to where the servants came from the halls outside the dining room. It was a smaller one, only big enough for the royal family and close friends. The king and queen weren't there yet, but they would join their family soon enough. The servants placed the food down, then left the room, and Volstagg of course wasted no time digging into the platters set out.

"Your wife must be so glad that you share in the palace meals so often, Volstagg, so she does not have to feed that ludicrous appetite of yours." Sif said, but the large warrior paid her no heed. Loki grabbed an apple from one of the trays and the others began to pick what they wanted, though having more courtesy than their voluminous companion and waiting for the arrival of the king and queen.

"Thor, Loki, my sons." Frigga's voice carried over the air like silk and sweet honey. She glided across the room, followed by Odin, and embraced each of her sons. Name days were celebrated by Asgardians, of course, marking the passage of another year of life, and they carried meaning, but with so many years to live, they seemed to loose some of it. But not this one, or any that would follow in Loki's life. He, more than anyone, knew the value of life, of each passing moment and each year lived, even when thousands were to be had. And his family never again would take a year with him for granted; each year with Loki was a gift, an unexpected blessing on weary hearts. This, to those in attendance, was by far the most important and emotional name day celebration they had ever been to.

Frigga's embrace of her youngest lingered, making Loki's face take a sadness to its pale features.

"I'm not going anywhere, mother."

"Shh, and let a mother hold her son." She whispered into his ear, stroking the back of his head. It was moments like this that Loki felt so incredibly guilty for heaping such hurt on his family. How he could have assumed that they would not suffer with him gone, had he deluded himself into thinking they did not care for him, that he was of little worth to them? It was not as though he was the center of their world, and he had not expected Thor to miss him so much. From what his friends told him, Thor had been a shell of himself with Loki gone, and even all the years had given his tortured brother no rest. It seemed Thor was not the only one unaware of how much Loki meant to him.

Finally, his mother released him to go to the table, Loki settling down in the place that usually would have been Thor's, but not today. Today the place of honor was all his, one day of every year.

Breakfast carried on calmly enough, though there were no servants in the room. There were no secrets at this table, and that meant that some highly classified state secrets were openly discussed there, namely Loki's origins. It had begun as the same sort of tense topic as Loki's execution and "time away" had been, but had slowly become a topic of easier conversation. Now it was nearly freely talked about when they were in each other's company, something Loki was more than glad of. It helped him cope with it in a way he had never before, by simply talking and joking about it all as if it were normal, not some great looming secret. Life was looking up for Loki, finally.

* * *

"Fandral, did you _have _give him a puzzle? He'll be working on that little box all day!" Volstagg exclaimed throwing his hands at the young prince who was perched on one of the benches around the sparring rings, puzzling over his puzzle box, as he had been for most of the morning.

"Well, he likes it doesn't he?" Fandral protested. "Right Loki?"

"Huh? Wha?"

"See what I mean?" Volstagg said, sagging a bit. Loki smirked and went back to his box. "He will be on that all day."

"I've nearly got it." Loki countered, green eyes running over the carvings on the box, working over the intricate workings of the many puzzles on the surface. Opening the box took a number of complex movements, made in order, which was why it was taking him so long. He'd made about a hundred mistakes, and it was difficult to move the contraption back into place after he hit a wall. But, despite the trouble the little wood box had given him, he loved it. Leave it to Fandral to engage his mind.

"Is there something inside there, Fandral?" Thor asked, pulling himself out of the sparring ring. The smaller blond nodded.

"Had to give him some reason to open it."

"I would have opened it if it was going to bite me when I did." Loki replied.

"And that's why I got it." Fandral smiled. No one could deny he knew his friend well, Loki loved mind games, and he had an incredibly sharp mind, beyond most in Asgard. He needed to practice the thing, debates with warriors who were not the best with words or thought wouldn't do, so, puzzles.

"Got it!" Loki exclaimed, pulling the small drawer out of the box. "Fandral, what in the nine did you put in here?" Loki was struggling a bit with the box, like it was sticking. Finally, he pulled it open, the object inside flying out, making him fumble to catch it. It was a small wooden wolf's head, strung on a simple leather cord through a hole on top of it, ears pricked up in frozen attention, eyes swirling in the dark stained wood. The symbol of loyalty.

"That, took me forever to make." Fandral said, and Loki looked up at him with wide green eyes. "That's not just a pendant, Loki. It's a promise." Loki paused; looking back down at the small wolfs head.

"Thank you Fandral." Loki looked up at his friends again and smiled, putting on the pendant and looking up at Volstagg. "Is there a reason you wanted to get me away from the puzzle? Do you have plans?" Volstagg looked away, a little sheepish, before going back into the sparring ring, practically dragging Fandral with him. Loki watched his friends spar for a little while longer, smiling at the banter tossed back and forth, and even engaging in a match or two himself. He shared lunch with them there in the rings, spending the noon hours away. They did not see when he slipped away, he was silent as snow and swift as shadow. They did not know where he went to, but they knew from a lifetime with Loki that he valued his time on his own, time at peace.

* * *

It is an interesting thing, to be alone in a sea of people. It is strangeness and charm, to walk through a crowd but be alone, in a world separate from all those around. It was a feeling Loki knew well, and he cherished it. Today, he had a hood pulled over his head in the market place, green eyes peering out at all the people around him as they went about their lives. He lived for moments like this, when he was invisible and he could just watch life happen. He looked around him, mind creating stories for each person passing him by, a mother guiding her child through the market for the first time, a father buying a gift for his son or daughter, a young warrior trying to make his way, fingering the hilt of his father's sword. It was so easy for life in the palace to consume him, so easy to forget what his job was. His job was to protect these people, to ensure that tomorrow more mothers would watch over their children, that the father was still there to buy his gift, that the warrior lived to see old age, that was his job. These people, they depended on him to keep them safe, whether they knew it or not, he could push and pull the pieces of the world to protect his home.

This was his world, these simple pleasures and pains that made up life. His thanks was not in glory or tall tales. It was in the smile of a child, a baby's cry, the gleam in a warrior's eye. His glory was not found in blood on a battlefield. It was a mother's lullaby, a father's tales, the wonder in children's eyes. Loki's greatest rewards in life were not the admiration of warriors or the praise of his peers. His greatest rewards were in the moments when life was beautiful, when through all the pleasure and pain, the living and the dying, the laughing and the crying, it was just, plain, _magnificent._

He lived for moments like this.

He had died for moments like this.

The people around him looked up, a few bowed slightly, gazing past him. Loki knew without looking that Thor was behind him. He was wondering how long Thor would allow him time on his own, here in the marketplace. He was surprised Thor had lasted this long, to the late afternoon. He did not mind, he would never mind Thor's company.

"Hello Thor." Loki said, soft smile gracing his face as he turned to look at his brother. Thor hadn't even bothered to hide himself, he had no reason to. It wasn't as though Thor could be discrete if he tried. Loki's smile only grew and he reached for his brother's hand, just like when they were children. Thor was pulled along as Loki began to run, hood falling from his face and cloak flowing behind him as he called back at his brother. "Come on, I want to talk and I know just the place."

* * *

Loki threw the small door open and crawled out onto the balcony, Thor following him slower. For some reason, it was the first time Loki had been up here since… since he came home. He did not know why, there were no sour memories in this place, there could be none. This was his and Thor's place, and only theirs. The breeze blew his hair around and out of it's place, driving wayward black strands into his face. The sun was beginning to set, bathing the sky rose colored light, gold clouds like a flame cutting across the heavens. Loki stood at the edge of the balcony, gazing out at the world in childlike wonder.

Thor followed, slower, almost afraid. The last time he had stepped foot on this balcony, he had been arguing with Baldur, and mourning the brother that now stood before him. How things had changed since that day.

"Isn't it beautiful Thor?" Loki asked, not turning to face his brother. Thor turned his gaze out to the world around them, at the sun and the sky and the bustling city below.

"It is." And it truly was. How had he forgotten that? "You wished to speak, brother." Thor asked, drawing Loki's attention away from the view before them.

"Do you remember when we first found this place?" Loki asked. Thor nodded with a smile.

"I woke you up, we were sneaking about the palace at night, trying to reach the top. We never told anyone we found it. Mother and father would always wonder where we had gone, they would have surely punished us, for being up here so young." Loki smiled and looked back to the sunset. "I remember telling you I was terrified of being king one day."

"And I told you that you hadn't a thing to worry about, that you would be a great king." Loki finished. "I remember you telling me you were proud to have a mage as a brother, that you bragged about me all the time." Thor smiled softly.

"I still do. No one in Asgard has a brother like I do." Thor sighed. "Do you remember when mother got pregnant with Baldur?"

"And we were so excited?" Loki asked, and Thor nodded. "I remember. I remember how distressed you were when she was in labor."

"And you were calm. Or at least you were calm for my sake." Thor smiled. "What went so wrong, Loki?"

"I don't know. I have tried to find out many times, I still do not know." Loki replied. Then a smile crossed his face. "Do you remember when we were young and you stole some meade from the kitchens?" Thor could not help the smile that peeled across his face, or the laughter that silently shook his frame. Loki soon joined him. "You got so drunk… father was furious!"

"He blamed you." Thor said, chuckling a little. "I tried to say it was me, but my words were so mixed up…"

"'Not father, me Loki' was essentially what came out." Loki said, trying not to laugh.

"I daresay your coming of age drinking with Fandral and Volstagg ending more embarrassingly, brother." Thor countered. Loki blushed and looked away.

"We are not going to talk about that." Thor laughed aloud at Loki's response, forgetting the troubles of the past. In those moments, on this balcony, nothing else mattered. It was just he and Loki, and all was right with the world.

* * *

Loki and Thor made their way down from the balcony just after sunset, for a rather late dinner. It was no matter to any one else in the family, though Sif and the warriors three were a bit perturbed that Loki had vanished halfway through the day. Of course, they could not argue too much, it was a heavy day, full with as much joy as it was sorrow. Dinner had been when Odin and Frigga gave their gifts, and eyes had not remained dry.

Odin gave Loki his bow back. Not the bow Odin had given him, a weapon Loki had hardly used, but the one he had made for himself, black stained dark wood, well used and well loved, and thought long gone. Odin had kept it, unable to let it fall prey to his anger, something that had been so completely Loki's that he could not get rid of it. He'd not given it back right away because, well, he had been ashamed of his actions towards Loki. And he'd lost it, somewhere.

Frigga's gift had been the tearjerker. Mostly for Loki, because it meant far more to him than anyone else in the room, but his friends and family found they could not help the lumps in their throats when Loki had melted into his mother's arms.

It had been a letter, which only Loki and his mother knew the contents of, and a small gift, something that had been Loki's when he was an infant, something he apparently would never part with. It was a small cloak clasp, Loki would explain to Thor later that he did in fact remember the golden thing, and recalled when he took it from their mother and refused to return it. Of course added to the clasp had been a cloak, according to his mother to replace the "ancient, ratty thing you insist on wearing on all of your inane adventures", which had made the room go into raucous laughter despite the tears that had streaked their faces. Of course, those were gifts one of two, though the older ones were hardly as emotionally weighted at the more recent ones.

* * *

It was late night; stars outside shining bright like flecks of ice and snow on a black velvet cloak in the night sky. A wafting plume of smoke snaked up towards the moon's silver sliver hanging in the air. It came from one of the few places still alight in Asgard, for at this late hour most of the great realm eternal slept soundly, calm and undisturbed. Peace had returned once more to Asgard, after all the strife and heartache of years past, peace was back, due in no small part to those who sat awake on this clear spring night. A fire roared in the massive pit as tales were shot back and forth across the flames, each friend telling each story in his own way, twisting it's truth to be more appealing to their ego. Royalty and friends laughed and joked as equals, reveling in the memory of bygone days when they were young, reckless and free. Tale after tale of foolhardy adventure ending in much the same way, one prince saved our lives while the other smashed his way about, each helping in their own way. One prince got them into messes, both got them out.

Loki listened to these tales and smiled, not bothering, as his friends were, to dress up his involvement in them, there was no need. His friends were doing a decent job. Volstagg was still eating, though technically the food was open for all of them, but the rest of the friends had long since finished the meal, only occasionally picking at the assortment of deserts.

"Think you're up for more gift giving, little brother?" Thor asked, joking lilt to his tone but the question was a serious one, Loki wasn't quite sure his heart could take much more joy and sadness swirling inside for the night. It was a strange combination of lightness and heaviness in his chest, he hardly knew what to do with it, he was overjoyed to be back with his family but devastated by the pain that still lingered on. He wondered if it would ever go away. "Loki?"

"Huh? Oh…I suppose." Loki replied, shaking himself from his thoughts. Sif jumped up, almost giddy to give over the gift she had gathered for him all those ages ago on Vanaheim. She bounded over to him in a very uncharacteristic manner, nearly bouncing on her toes as she handed it to him, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Take it." She said, pushing it closer to him. Loki knew what it was very quickly, it was a book, a very, very old one. He carefully opened up the cover, noting that the leather had a number of thin water stains on it, tearstains. It was a book of spells, worn but legible. "There's this abandoned castle in Vanaheim, with a massive library. I went to find it, but since I couldn't take a whole library, I got you a book. I'd like to take you…if we get the Bifrost fixed." Sif finished, turning to glare slightly at Thor.

"Well, there are other ways. Thank you Sif." Loki said, standing to embrace his friend. Something hit his chest before he could reach her, looking down showed it to be Sif's hand.

"I…I've been practicing a bit, even if I said I wouldn't." Sif mumbled, looking at her hand in the center of Loki's chest, her other hand holding behind her back. "I know you like that short sword, but I thought you should have a longer weapon, just because. I hope the enchantments don't grate too much." She told him, pulling her hand from her back, and handing him the long sword. It was not terribly long still, and it was a thin and curved blade, the handle matching exactly with Loki's other weapon, the night black sword his father had given him nearly a year ago. Loki pulled the blade out, revealing it to be black as his other as well, and he ran his hand along the obsidian surface, scanning Sif's enchantments.

"Sif, you did perfectly." Loki said with a small smile.

"It's from Alfhiem, I know you're not fond of dwarves." Sif replied, fingering her black hair. Loki smiled, giving her a breathy laugh and shaking his head. He the slid sword back into the scabbard and placed it down behind him. This time he did not let Sif stop him from wrapping her up in his arms.

"Thank you." He whispered into her shoulder, then pulling away to let her scuttle back to her seat.

"Dammit Sif, why are you so good at this?" Volstagg asked.

"Because I know him best. Besides Thor of course." She replied smugly. Neither Loki, nor any of the others, tried to deny it. It was a fact really; Sif knew Loki as well as she knew herself. She may have been one of the last to enter their circle of friends, but she was without a doubt Loki's nearest and dearest friend, the only person closer to him was Thor. "Your turn Volstagg." The portly warrior looked a little sheepish as he handed Loki his old gift.

"I don't know if you'll even recall this now…" he began, but all his fears were banished when the younger prince burst into laughter when he saw what the gift was. "You do remember! Thank the norns! I promise it's not four centuries old, but it's still what I had."

"I'm confused." Fandral said, looking at what Loki was holding. It was a sweet roll, one Volstagg had gotten from the kitchens that evening. There were plenty of them around, so it made little sense to the rest of the company. Loki finally gathered himself to explain the story.

"Three days before everything with Baldur came to a head, I was in my room, reading at some norns forsaken hour of the night, when someone starts pounding on my door. It was Volstagg, he'd stayed out too late and his wife had kicked him out. He came to ask for me to convince her to let him back into his house. I told him to wait there and I'd see what I could do. I talked to her, and she agreed to let him back, but when I get back to my room he's eaten what I had left from dinner that night, a sweet roll. I told him he owned me one, and apparently he's paid up." Loki explained, making his friends chuckle slightly.

"You know, I've just noticed something." Thor said. "Whenever any of us have a problem, a story of a problem, it starts with whatever the trouble was and then 'so I went to Loki to see if he could help…' and then you just drop everything and help us, no matter how stupid our problem may be."

"That is what friends are for, is it not? When you are in need of help, they help you, no matter the circumstances." Loki answered. Thor smiled at his brother, then turned to Volstagg, silently asking if he had another gift for Loki.

The vast elder warrior handed Loki a small box a bit sheepishly, and Loki took it with a skeptical look at his friend. What could be making Volstagg so bashful, besides the circumstance of course?

Inside the box was another puzzle, actually two puzzles, for him to solve. So that was why he'd been so up in arms about Fandral's gift, he'd done the same. Still Loki was more than grateful for them; he truly enjoyed the challenge they provided him with.

Fandral had given him the gifts he had already, and Hogun's were a few new journals (Loki had complained once in the gruff warriors presence that even the blank ones were gone) and the old gift of a book of spells from his home realm of Vanaheim.

Thor was next. Loki hoped to high Valhalla that Thor would be gentle with them, that they were not something that would make him break down into a teary mess, he really didn't want to do that. But Thor seemed to have the same problem, as he couldn't seem to let go of the four century old gift he'd gotten so long ago, just turning it over and over in his hands before finally handing it to Loki. It was a book, but no book Loki had ever seen before. Emblazoned on the leather cover was a picture of Mjolnir in all its glory and lighting, and then a pair of knives wreathed in magic behind the hammer.

"You told me once that there would be no stories like the ones about the two of us." Thor whispered. "I figured I would get you started on writing them down." Loki opened the cover, and found that the book was the tales of their adventures, from the mischief caused at a young age to the quests they had gone on with their friends, or alone. Everything, every little escapade, every time they went to cause trouble, or find some lost relic, up until everything went wrong. After all of those stories were blank pages, but it was the first blank page that struck Loki like lighting.

It wasn't blank. On it, in Thor's handwriting were these words:

_I'm so sorry, brother. But…there won't be any more stories._

_You're gone._

_I'm so sorry, but our story is over._

_It's a tragedy. I have written a tragedy._

"It's not a tragedy Thor." Loki said with a weak smile, grabbing a hold of the corner of the page. "The story isn't over." He pulled the page out, crumbling it in his hand and tossing it into the fire in the center of their circle. "Do you understand, it's not over. There will be more insane adventures and more amazing stories. There will be no stories like these, and there will be more of them." Thor smiled back at Loki, staring into the fire where flames consumed the story of the worst time of his life.

"I…I'll give you my other gift later, Loki." Thor said, and Loki nodded. There had to be a reason for Thor to do that, and he was content to relax and talk with his friends for a while longer.

* * *

The night came to a close, and Loki was just getting into his massive bed when Thor slipped into his room. "I'm opening and ending my name day with my brother." Loki smiled when he saw him. "I can think of no better way."

"I have something else for you, Loki."

"Oh?" Thor nodded, and handed Loki a larger, dark wood box, beautiful knots carved on top of it, swirling around the image that matched the one from the book Thor had given him earlier. Thor handed Loki a small piece of parchment paper, where a note was written in Thor's scratchy runes. "To my brother, who I now know I cannot face life without, who I love with all I am, who holds my heart in his hands and has protected it all these years. To my brother, who has given everything for me and whom I would give everything for. To my brother, who has saved me not only from others, but also from myself. To my brother, who has never left my side." Loki read the words quietly, smiling a little at Thor getting so eloquent. He opened the box slowly, and couldn't help the tears that began to stream down his face as he did.

"They are the same." Thor said quietly, sitting next to his brother and looking at the knife set he gave him. The exact same as the set Thor had gotten him ages ago, but that their father had destroyed in his anger.

"There is something written inside here." Loki mumbled, flicking a little light spell so he could see clearly, then let out a choked breath. _No matter where you are from, who your parents were, what you do, or where you go, you always were, always are and always will be my beloved brother._

"Now and forever Loki." Thor said, wrapping his arms around his brother's shaking frame. "Never doubt that I love you. Never fear that I think differently of you. You are my brother, nothing will ever change that."

* * *

_Is it not shocking sometimes, how the things we know can change us so?_

* * *

**_And that's all she wrote.  
_**

**_Thank you so much to all the wonderful people who have been so kind in their reviews, and thanks to all those who favorited and followed as well. I have truly enjoyed writing this story, and a daresay I wish it did not have to end. But sadly, it does. I may write a sequel, I have not yet decided, and I do not have a plot line. Thank you to all of you who have read this far, means a lot to me._**

**_Hope you enjoyed it!_**


	13. Sequel stuff

_**Sequel update!**_

_I've decided to make a sequel, I've got a plot and everything and I'm starting the writing process. However, heads up to anyone looking for it, it will be located in the __Avengers__ archive, as it takes place mostly on earth and with __Avengers__ characters. _

_The title is __Things Learned__ and it's up._

_Sort of. There is a prologue up and an extensive Author's Note at the end detailing what's up. _

_All of you who asked me for a sequel, go and read it, hope you like what I've got up there now. It's not much, but I've been busy. Anywho, hope you enjoy it._

_Read the Author's Note. It's important._

_Summary: AU, Sequel to Things Known.  
Prince Loki of Asgard is sent to earth to retrieve the Tesseract from the mortals who are meddling with it. Of course, he quickly discovers that when things come to humans, nothing is ever simple. Powerful forces vie for control and custody of the most powerful object in the nine realms, and the homesick prince finds himself caught in the middle._


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